Who Wants to be a Superhero 2, Episode 3: Rollercoaster Ride

Last week, Mindset was mean to Ms. Limelight and turned everyone against him. The team competed in a spelling bee, which sounds stupid and I don’t have the energy to explain it again. Read last week’s recap if you really want to know, but aside from my superpower of witty repartee, it’s not worth it. The team gets costume makeovers. Mindset gets the… you know, I really need a name for the evictions on this show… Mindset gets the superpowered boot for not being a team player.

The team discuss Mindset’s exit and the reasons behind it. The topic gets around to his fight with Ms. Limelight, and while she won’t say anything bad about him to the team, she tells us that she’s glad he’s gone. She tells the others she doesn’t care what he thinks, which Whip-Snap is glad to hear.

The next morning, at the amusement park (not a very common transition, I’ll admit), security cameras capture a dark, robed figure skulking around. This looks to be the villain that Bee Sting was talking to at the end of last week’s episode. It’s just after 6AM, and the heroes are awakened rudely by a flashing light and police siren. Stan, apparently a morning person (morning people are annoying, aren’t they?) comes on the screen and tells the team that Dr. Dark is on the loose.

The team hurry to get ready and, in some cases, help each other into their uniforms. In the cars, the heroes find that none of them have heard of Dr. Dark. With a smirk on his face, Hyper Strike says he sounds like a shady character. I’m shocked the producers didn’t put in a sound effect or obnoxious laugh track here.

Stan pops up on the GPS screen to show them footage of Dr. Dark (so they know who they are looking for, apparently, although how many other caped and hooded guys are out there sneaking around and chuckling to themselves in a creepy raspy voice? Oh, wait. Aren’t they in L.A.? Never mind).

They arrive at the park to find a moose out front telling them it’s closed. No, actually, I wish that would have happened, but it didn’t. Either way, they run through the gates without paying (some paragons of virtue they are!) and find ANOTHER video screen of Stan. Before he can say anything of consequence, Dr. Dark takes over the feed.

What luck! Dr. Dark is a very fair, sporting supervillain and gives them a chance to find him if they can solve his puzzle in time. She shows them the door he is behind, which is locked with four four-digit combination padlocks. The heroes must split into teams of two: one member of the team must ride the coaster (Mr. Mitzvah gulps – it was established earlier that he doesn’t like roller coasters) and look for four colored squares located below the track. After the ride, the first team member relays the color information to their teammate, who finds one of a dozen differently colored poles scattered throughout the park. Each pole contains a number. The four numbers will open one of the locks, and after all four teams have opened a lock, maybe Dr. Dark will still be there. Or maybe he will have popped off for a quick drink, because I can’t imagine this going quickly.

Personally, I’d just grab some bolt cutters. Seems easier to me. You’d think Defuser would have a pair in his utility belt, wouldn’t you? Also, I seem to remember a similar challenge to this in another show – I’m thinking The Amazing Race. Anyone else fill in details for me?

But no, Stan reappears and tells them to play along with his little game because, “hopefully, you’ll capture him.” WHAAA? I’ll take “incredibly lame rationales for poor writing for $1000, Alex.” Hyper Strike nods his head crisply, as though he were thinking exactly the same thing. Stan tells them that splitting up into duos might help him figure out who is more suited to be a sidekick than a superhero. Ouch.

Defuser takes charge as usual, asking who is willing to ride the coaster. Whip-Snap and Mr. Mitzvah immediately shrink backwards. Hyper Strike is willing to ride, so Mr. Mitzvah literally grabs him and partners up. Defuser and Whip-Snap seem to have an agreement, as do Hygena and Ms. Limelight. Parthenon and Basura are the last pair whether by choice or necessity, we don’t know.

Hygena and Ms. Limelight are the first team. Hygena agreed to ride, since Limelight really did not want to, and Hygena tells us that for her, it’s all about conquering her fears. She does look terrified as the coaster pulls out, and she tells us that she hopes she doesn’t puke, because she usually does on rollercoasters. Good to know.

There’s a lot of cutting around here. Hyper Strike is pumped because he loves roller coasters, and Mr. Mitzvah cheers him on and looks like he wants to puke himself, even though he’s on solid ground. Parthenon and Basura make the seemingly smart decision to go over the different color possibilities beforehand, but really, with 12 colors, how much could this prepare you? “OK, now we know we can eliminate puce, aquamarine, carnation, and apricot. Let’s go!” Basura says they will take turns. Defuser used to love coasters when he was 20. At 38, he wonders if he’ll get sick. The four heroes ride, as a cool overhead shows us the locations of the colors.

Hyper Strike is back, and tells Mitzvah that he found green. Mitzvah runs “full speed” down the ramp, he injures his leg and is unable to run. Apparently Dr. Dark has some cronies with snipers ready to take out the heroes’ hamstrings. He tells Hyper Strike that Dr. Dark put oil on the ramp. I like my excuse better. He says he can use his eyes, which Hyper Strike takes to mean that he will ride the coaster. Of course not! He’ll help him look, or something. He can’t put the safety harness on with his injury. Makes no sense.

Basura reports to Parthenon that she saw green and red. Defuser finds the same. Hygena “only” gets red, purple, and orange. As we see the others finding their colored poles, Limelight runs right past the red pole. Boy, them dames and directions, huh?

Hyper Strike finds the rest of the colors and takes off to find the poles. Mitzvah says he’ll come with, but Hyper Strike is more concerned with making up lost time. Hyper Strike finds the red pole, and as Mitzvah limps along behind and tells him the green pole is very close. He says it’s a good thing he came along.