Last Comic Standing 5, Episode 10: ...Or Maybe It's Just You

To kick things off, a brief mention that Jay Mohr has a new column up at the Fox Sports website and it’s funnier than anything that happens on LCS this week. Check it out here. He also has a good little story to tell in his newsletter pertaining to his becoming a regular on Ghost Whisperer, so look for that when you can.

This episode of LCS5 starts with the seven remaining contestants heading out to the Hollywood Social Club. It looks more like a bad flea market and probably smells like one. Once inside, Bill tells the troupe that they are there for the final challenge of the season and that whoever wins will automatically become one of the five finalists because they’ll gain immunity from the final Head-to-Head. Seems rather unfair that one lucky challenge winner gets a free pass when the others that won Head-to-Heads and/or challenges don’t get that offer. Plus, it means that there is a good chance that some people who never had to compete in the Head-to-Heads will luck into making it to the final five without even breaking a sweat. So it looks like the producers have found another way to break something that… well, come to think of it, it’s never really worked that great in any season save the first, and that was only because the comics that got thrown off had a chance to make things right.

Bill – who I forgot to mention was a good sport for wearing armor last week; I mean, you would never see Jay doing such a stunt (and Bill probably wondered why he was willing to do it after it was all said and done) – tells the comics that they will be participating in something called “Speed Laughing.” The object is for the comics to talk to six people, each secluded in one of the flea market booths and get them laughing. The comic with the most votes from the six wins the challenge.

The people for the challenge then arrive and it is six models from Deal or No Deal. I don’t watch the show, so I have no idea what they do, but I would guess they’re untouched by Howie’s hands (a little mysopyobia joke there… why, yes, extremely little, thank you…). The guys get a little nervous at the idea of talking to the women, while Amy also wonders what she’ll be doing. As the comics are led off to think of the upcoming challenge, Bill reveals to the audience that three of the women are actually not participating in the event and they will be switched with Folger’s Coffee. Let’s watch.

Actually, they will be switched with a humorless drag-queen (well, I guess you have to be sometimes), a nun and a clown. My suspicions are that the clown and the nun are one in the same, and I mean that because they look similar in face and body. I’m not going for a religious joke there; I really meant that they looked similar. Or at least they share the same sense of humor, which is still better than that of the drag-queen. Bill says this is to make the challenge harder, but why not just keep the people they would be meeting a secret altogether? That would have made it even more challenging if they comics had no idea who they would meet. Instead, the comics are set to talk to beautiful women and even with half the room changing, it still allows them to be too prepared.

For some reason Mel Silverback is there to help Bill out and he hits a gong, signaling that Amy did not win the $516.32. Oh, sorry, I was hoping this was The Gong Show. At least on that show the people judging were sincere when they saw a weak talent. Actually, the sound of the gong means that the challenge is starting.

Ralph is first, talking to one of the models, who is wearing red. Ralph says that there is something about a woman in a red dress that makes a man retarded. I dunno, Nancy Reagan wore red a lot and it never did a thing for me.

It would explain Ronnie’s presidency though.

Hey-ho!

Doug bombs with a great joke about wearing socks during sex and it becomes very clear that he is playing to the camera and doesn’t really care if he wins at this point. This automatically makes him the best person on the show. Ralph walks in on the drag-queen, Jackie Beat, and is so convulsed with laughter that he has to leave. The drag-queen seemed a bit miffed at that (yeah, I said miffed; watch it, you…). Doug tries for a while with Jackie, but when Jackie pulls out a banana it is clear that the comics are just there to be Jackie’s monkeys, so Doug once again just plays against it until it is time to move on.

Lavell asks one of the first girls about implants and Amy gets one of the models to laugh, as does Jon. Lavell then jokes with Jackie that he has all of his albums, thinking he is seeing a member of KISS. He comes out looking shocked. Ralph meets Sister Rose and is a bit surprised to find out that she really is a nun, while Matt jokes with one of the models that they look as if they’re in a high school movie where she needs help with her homework and he will get dancing lessons from her in trade. Doug gets into the room with the nun and rolls out a bunch of dirty jokes because, as he tells the camera, “I’ve lost anyway, so I’m just going to do the most inappropriate things possible.” Again, another reason to love the guy!

Gerry thinks he has a sure-fire way to win with a bit from his set about girls going out in comparison to guys going out. It works until he gets to Jackie, who purposefully destroys the joke. Makes one wonder why they bothered with Jackie if all Jackie was there for was to tear down the comics. If they wanted another heckling competition, they could have just come straight out and done that. Matt even gets off some good material with Jackie but cannot get even a smile out of the person. What fun.

The final “twist” participant is Twinkie the Clown (if that is her real name). Ralph laughs at meeting Twinkie, while Doug just blows off his chances with her. Heading to a room after getting done, Ralph tells Doug, while both laugh, that it was like “going through a haunted castle!” Ralph tells the camera that he knew he sucked at the challenge, but figures he’ll do well in another Head-to-Head if it comes down to it.