The Biggest Loser 4, September 25 – Are You Faster Than A Fifth Grader?

Alison has the Yellow Team introduce themselves. The youngest is Cooper, who is as cute as a bug and in kindergarten. Jack is in grade three, and Keala is in fourth grade. Phil of the Red Team knows that these kids were not chosen by accident.

Alison tells us that the team with the most winners (if any) wins the challenge. The reward for the winning team is the ever-prized phone-call home. Alas, I don’t think the Yellow Team is eligible.

In the first race, fourth grader Keala wins easily with a time of 14.7 seconds, which is pretty respectable for any age. The third-grade heat ends in a most surprising fashion – Captain Phil of the Red Team takes it! It was close, but Phil was very determined and outlasted young Jack in a time of 16.7 seconds.

But when it comes to the kinder-kids, wee Cooper smokes their sorry, sorry butts in under 20 seconds, narrowly beating Bryan. Fess up – who of you at home were not rooting for the likable moppet Cooper? Hollie of the Black Team was confident and dismissive before the race, yet after finishing last she says, “It was embarrassing.”

Alison tells the Red Team that they won the event. They note that they have won all three challenges so far, and feel it’s time they won a weigh-in. This is followed by a series of tearful shots of Red Team members calling home. It’s hanky time! David’s new son is crawling, and Kae’s youngster has graduated from pre-school. All four of them are regenerated by the experience.

The one possible exception may be Phil, who’s young daughter is having some “Where’s daddy?” issues. However, Phil knows that a few lost weeks now will translate into many reclaimed years down the road, so I think this is going to work out just fine.

The scene shifts to a training session with Bob, involving another mountain climb to, as he says, “get their metabolism up.” It seems big Neil is not on this journey. Although Patty has some doubts and Ryan struggles, through sheer determination, the whole troupe makes it to the summit.

Meanwhile, Jillian is trying to assemble her team. Penalized for being on time, Isabeau is dispatched by Jillian to assemble her male teammates, under penalty of pain and suffering if they aren’t ready to go in three minutes. Isabeau responds a little slowly and with some sassy backtalk, wasting twenty seconds.

After getting the first couple of guys, Bill is the next one to be called. Bill has apparently just woken up and is moving slow due to a knee injury. Unaware that Isabeau is acting as a reluctant messenger for Jillian, he hollers aggressively back at her, “I can’t run, got it? Got it? I got a bad f%^$ knee. That’s enough out of you! Thank you. Got it? Did you hear me yet? I said I cannot run! Do you got it?” Brother! Is this guy for real?

Isabeau is in tears now, and Jillian tries to calm her down. In time, all is smoothed over and Bill apologizes to Isabeau for hollering at her.

In the gym, all teams are working at their best effort levels in the last chance workout. Jillian tells her team, “You are like machines today. You feel no pain.” She may be wrong, however. It is apparent Jez is feeling many levels of pain and in fact, he looks as though he’s going to stop breathing and pass out!

Back in the Red Team’s dorm, Kim tells her team, “There’s a lot more going on in your bodies than what the scales show.” Privately, Kim tells us she’s nervous about the weigh-in, but in front of the team she tells them she’s confident they will start to be rewarded for their effort.

In the Blue Team Dorm, trainer Bob is confident based on his experience in previous weigh-ins (both of them). He does give them a nice pep talk, though, including thanking Jerry for bringing such a strong team to him. He seems to have some idea in his mind that they are trying to win their third weigh-in in a row. Does he not recall getting topped by the Black Team last week?

Jillian tells her Black Team how proud she is of them. She goes a little over the top in saying, “I’ve never had a team where everyone gave it 110 percent in every way.” I don’t like that phrasing; it’s disrespectful to the teams she’s had before who certainly worked as hard as they could.

It is time for the Elimination Weigh-In. Remember, it’s the team’s total percentage of loss that counts, not the raw pound amounts. Alison calls upon the Black Team first. When they are finished, the Blue Team is next. They need to lose more than 27 pounds to take the lead. When their turn comes up, the Red Team hears they need to lose more than 16 pounds to avoid elimination and 21 to win bragging rights. Here are the numbers:

Note that Patty’s “LOSS” number includes the three-pound pass she won plus the five pounds that she actually lost. The Red Team wins the week, and the Blue Team must face Alison in the Elimination Room.

Alison informs Patty that even without her pass she is still the biggest loser on the losing team, and thus is exempt from eviction. They now have a day to consider, as Alison says, “Who is weighing you down?”

The numbers were lower in general this week. It’s to be expected that there will be minor plateaus along the way. Now, the “soft” water weight is mostly gone and they are building some muscle mass. This is fine by me, because it’s not all about the numbers. The true goal is a healthier lifestyle.

Bob meets with his discouraged team. Ryan tells Bob that they had a secret vote earlier, and the one named to go home was Jerry. Jerry? Captain Jerry, the most inspirational person in the game? Jerry, whose percentage of weight loss dwarfs the efforts of the rest of them? (In fact, except for Kae, his percentage is more than double that of the other four.)