America’s Next Top Model 9, Episode 3: Up the Wall

Lisa is first, and is also afraid of heights, though she didn’t want to tell Jay. Eventually, the secret comes out during the shoot, but Lisa found a comfortable spot nonetheless. Jay is very proud of her. Jay tells Janet to be more aware of her neck. Janet confesses to finding the whole modeling world harder than she expected. In case any viewers have attention-deficit disorder, Saleisha reminds us again that she has experience with modeling and photo shoots. Jay feels like Saleisha is giving him “model on a wire.” By his tone, it sounds like a bad thing. Maybe it is, because Jay sees Saleisha let go, and he likes it.

Jay tells Bianca to take her creativity to the next level. However, her angles come across as forced. Bianca hopes she got good shots and the other girls did worse. Boo. Self-confessed super-nerd Victoria never thought she would get this far, but she uses her nerd skills to model as if she was “on acid scaling a wall in sunshine.” Um, huh? [Assistant Editor’s note: I believe the words “sea nymph” were also used. Double huh?] Ambreal has “disgustingly fabulous” body language, but needs more in the face.

Chantal needs more intent when she’s raising her leg. She confesses something, too, but it’s so mundane that I forgot what it was. And I have the episode on tape! Ebony needs to think elegant the entire time, but her mind drifts to the bottom two. Ebony knows people expect a pretty girl like her to do well, but she admits to being horrible at the shoots. Sarah does well, though Jay asks for less bend in her knee.

Kimberly is advised to take the artistry of the shoot to a believable level, but she ends up playing it safe. Kimberly just wants to present herself as a normal girl, not a fierce or mysterious model. Jay feels Kimberly sees modeling as a 2D art form. The Foreshadowing Fairy has moved up to my armpits. Although Jenah has been an avid climber for years, she’s never done it in heels. Still, Jenah does a great job at the shoot. Jay notes that Jenah gets her body without the need to self-analyze. Heather knows her runway wasn’t good, so she’s aiming for good pictures. Judging by Saleisha’s reaction, Heather did great. That made me giddy.

Tyra Mail again, and we know what this one means. Time for the second cut. Kimberly tells Janet that she thinks her body was decent. Janet says she should be satisfied, no matter what the outcome is. Kimberly wants to stay so she can learn more. The Foreshadowing Fairy is tickling my stomach now. Heather hates eliminations because they have to say goodbye to at least one girl, and she likes all of the girls. I like her right back. Bianca sees how confident Heather is getting, so she’s going to have to stop her. BOO!

After the obligatory Tyra photo, the girls step into the panel room. Tyra plugs the prizes in an extremely fromage-y French accent, then the judgment begins.

Heather is first. The photo comes up, and it’s great. Tyra asks about eye contact, a common problem among people with Asperger’s (not Asperjer’s, as Tyra said), and how Heather has amazing eye contact with an invisible person. Heather learned how to avoid dead eyes for her artwork, which isn’t too bad. Better than me, at least. Janet models her Dolce & Gabbana dress well, though her film had more self-conscious photos than great ones. Ebony steps forward, and Tyra thinks Ebony looks like she’s going home. Her photo sports some great legs, though. Tyra boosts Ebony’s confidence by telling the story of going to numerous castings in Paris with three photos she thought were “busted,” and ending up booking 25 shows because of her confidence.

Kimberly is next with a scrunched pose in her photo. Twiggy feels like Kimberly hit the wall in that photograph. Nigel enjoys looking at the real Kimberly more than that photo. Kimberly promises to give more. The Fairy tickles me even harder. Chantal’s photo looks more like “rock falling” than “rock climbing.” Chantal reminds Tyra of Cycle 8’s Renee, but with higher fashion potential. Sarah’s photo looks to Nigel like she’s walking down the street. The face impresses Tyra. I like it, too.

Lisa steps up for her photo, and the first thing I notice is her leg span. Nigel wonders who she was thinking about. Tyra did notice a lot of self-consciousness in Lisa’s film. Saleisha is congratulated for her challenge win, and her photo generates more praise. She rocks it even when she’s upside-down. Tyra does show concern that Saleisha’s too “girl next door.” From lovely to loathsome, Bianca is next. The panel is speechless, but not in a good way. Nigel thinks Bianca looks uncomfortable, while Miss J. thinks she looks mad. Bianca says she was told to focus on one emotion, so she focused on anger, which was the easiest. Not a good strategy, though Tyra likes it.

Victoria’s photo is good, in a “help me” sort of way. Twiggy loves Victoria’s unusual quality, and Victoria asks what Twiggy finds unusual. Twiggy doesn’t really know. Tyra found a lot of good photos on Victoria’s film, and everyone loves her “model pretzel.” Ambreal admits to being scared of heights, but found the experience fun. The photo reflects that fun, with Nigel loving how Ambreal became the focus of the photo and not the rock wall. Jenah’s rock-climbing experience paid off brilliantly in her photo. Nigel believes this is the best picture of them all, and I agree. Jenah then reveals that she was a rock-climbing instructor. I want her to teach me now!

Heather has been voted the Cover Girl of the Week. Yay!

Deliberation time! Nigel finds Heather’s photo beautiful. Miss J. finds Heather boring when standing in front of them, but her photos deliver. Twiggy loves Heather. In person, Roy wouldn’t look at Janet in a mall twice. Nigel agrees, but adds that Janet photographs beautifully. Bianca looked too angry for Miss J. Twiggy loves Bianca in person, but Roy doesn’t think she has it.

Roy thinks this competition is too much for Ebony, though her photo was great. Miss J. sees no “nutritional fashion value” in Kimberly. Tyra sees Kimberly’s fashion face in person, but a “hoochie” face in the photos. Perhaps she can’t get Kimberly’s casting photo with the black vest out of her mind. Miss J. tries to faith heal Tyra.

Chantal is a bit spread for Miss J., but he likes the photo. Twiggy sees a high-fashion face in Chantal. Sarah is awkward in person for Nigel, though Roy says no one comes out of the womb perfect for fashion. Miss J. raises his hand in response. Tell that to your hair, J.

Twiggy isn’t sure about Lisa in person, but she loves the shot. Nigel thinks Lisa looks in control and like she’s having fun. Saleisha’s courageous photo impresses the panel. Jenah also impresses all around, with Roy seeing great talent in her. Nigel says Jenah made the background completely disappear.

Ambreal doesn’t strike Roy as very model-like initially, but he can see a fabulous side once she’s been in enough shows. Twiggy isn’t sold on Ambreal, though. Miss J. loves how Victoria comes for Twiggy every week. Last week, Victoria called Twiggy out on her insecurity, and this week, it was on her unusual qualities. As awkward as Victoria’s photo is, Miss J. likes it.

Time for the cut. The first of the 11 photos belongs to... Jenah. Another victory for the property of duh. Heather gets photo #2. Lisa is next, followed by Chantal, Sarah, and Ambreal. Victoria and Saleisha earn another photo shoot each. Janet is safe, and so is Ebony.

This leaves Bianca and Kimberly, and there’s no way villainess Bianca will go home. Kimberly stands before Tyra as a high-fashion girl in person, but just a pretty girl in photos. Bianca’s photo impressed Tyra, but the other judges didn’t like it at all. A model needs to impress more than one person. As the Fairy’s tickling predicted, Bianca pleased Tyra enough to stick around. BOO!

Kimberly is out, and I’m not exactly sad. In fact, if it couldn’t be Bianca, I’ll gladly take Kimberly. Tyra asks Kimberly to learn how to use her face well, then sends Kimberly packing. Kimberly’s obviously disappointed in herself. She wishes her boyfriend was around to support her. Kimberly wants people to be proud of her. She notes that while she made the top12, she’s still the second model eliminated.

Next time, a bug scutters around, and it’s not Bianca. Oh, and the models will undergo metamorphoses of their own. That’s right, it’s makeover time! And one girl will get it all trimmed. Phil will see ya then!

Tyler can be reached at tejayes@yahoo.com. Who do you like? Who do you hate? I mean, besides Bianca.