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America's Got Talent 4, July 29: More Confusionby Tyler Sandersfeld -- 07/30/2009
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Ladies, gentlemen, and disco dancers! Welcome to the conclusion of a terrible Vegas week on America's Got Talent. Tuesday night's episode... well, the less said about it, the better. It probably won't be much better this time, since this episode is just a continuation. Let's just get it over with.
This episode's judgment begins with asking acrobatic newlyweds Paradizo Dance to the deliberation room. What is the point of this exercise? Why them? Why only them? According to the show, the judges are having a tough time making a decision about them. Then let them perform! David asks them what else they can do, and apparently they have a handstand trick in their arsenal. The judges take this info, and... give them the chance. That's one more quarterfinalist down.
Can Bollywood dancers Ishaara have the same luck as Paradizo Dance? Considering they're better than Paradizo Dance, I say they'll go home. Also awaiting their fate is FootworKINGz. Both troupes glurge out their life stories, which I just don't care about anymore. I would rather see performing than schlock. Anyway, the judges have made a decision, and... both groups are leaving Las Vegas. And going to Hollywood. All right, two acts I can agree with.
Two other acts face the judges next – pianist Jeffrey Ou and singer/harpist Rashida Jolley. They have become fast friends in Vegas, and now must learn their fate together. Unfortunately, they won't be entering the top 40 together. Rashida... will be going home. Jeffrey is in instead, and he's sad to see Rashida go home.
Joining Rashida on the long trip home: whip artists Christopher & Laura Camp; hand balancers The Kalinins and Duo Design; jugglers The Flash; dancer Arthur Gulkarov; and singer Kara Britz, whose guitarist brother Corey got a deal and screwed her over, even though she never got to perform on her own. Dumb, dumb, dumb.
Will spunky Eleisha Miller make it through, even though vastly superior kids were left behind on the tarmac? Remember, this show has a very strange concept of "talent." According to their definition... Eleisha is better than Tallan Noble Latz and Ciana Pelekai enough to be in the top 40. If anyone can give me a logical reason why this happened, you deserve a Nobel prize.
What about the sexy and dangerous Mario & Jenny? They were among my favorite extreme acts ever on this show, thanks to their performance ability. They'd be perfect for Vegas, so... the judges have to recognize that and send them through. I have high hopes for them, so they better not let me down.
Marcus Terrell & The Serenades got mixed reviews at their audition. Marcus was well liked, but The Serenades weren't as well received. Sharon says the girls are still pulling down Marcus. However, Marcus does not want to let go of his girls. Because of that, the judges will be letting them go. However, one of the Serenades offers that the girls can leave so Marcus can go through. The judges... accept the offer. I guess that means another act will be pushed out because of this. Also, why couldn't they give this offer to the lead singer of The Spiritual Harmonizers, as he got just as high of praise? Super bleh.
In the last episode, the judges gave three dance crews (U4RIA, BreakSk8, and Destined 2 Be) half a day to prepare a routine to the same track. Only one or two of the crews will advance after this dance battle. Because they couldn't let anyone else perform for some bizarre reason. U4RIA is first, and they are sloppy. BreakSk8 is pretty good, although it's still a bit gimmicky. Destined 2 Be has some good moves. Only one group will go forward, and that is... BreakSk8. Whatever. At least they can say they got farther than JabbaWockeeZ on at least one show.
Next up for judgment is sibling vocal act Voices of Glory. Please don't tell me the judges think Eleisha Miller is more deserving than this group, too. David says the decision was unanimous... they're obviously in. They'll be joined by: opera singer Barbara Padilla; sideshow act Coney Island Chris; dog acts Tony & Rory and Pam & Viva; dancer Carol Lugo; singer/pianist Charles DeWayne Dorsey; gymnasts Pixie Mystere; tumblers African High Flyers; singer/pianist BRI; singing sisters The EriAm Sisters; musician and tap dancer Matt and Anthony; and stand-up comic Grandma Lee.
Will the same fate be shared by violinist/vocalist trio Alizma? The European sisters had good violin skills, but their singing left a lot to be desired. Sharon says they have a long way to go with their talent. That long way... will be taking them to the top 40.
All but one of the spots in the top 40 have been filled, and the last two acts waiting for results are two young ladies who have experienced the heartbreak of elimination before. Singer/pianist Mia Boostrom came back after getting cut in Vegas last season. Kelli Glover made the semifinals on American Idol, but missed the finals because of Jim Verraros. I hope they pick Mia over Kelli. The answer is a no for... Kelli. She is absolutely devastated. Sharon says Kelli is not a failure (then why is she out?). Kelli still storms out in an ugly huff. Mia fills out the top 40. At least we know the whole list this year.
That's it for preliminaries, or is it? Show creator Simon Cowell calls the judges and says there's a problem with the choices. What the problem is, we don't know. Could the choices (like Manuela Horn and Eleisha Miller) be too poor even for Simon? Could a few strange cuts (Spiritual Harmonizers and Tallan Noble Latz) get to come back? Could it just be another lame attempt to manufacture drama? We'll find out as the quarterfinals begin next week. See ya then!
Tyler can be reached at email@example.com. What do you like? What do you hate? I mean, besides lame attempts to manufacture drama.
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