America's Got Talent 4, August 11: The Dainty Dozen

Ladies, gentlemen, and yodeling dominatrices (is that the proper plural?)! Welcome to the second quarterfinal round of America's Got Talent!

Last week, America guaranteed another performance from Acrodunk, Drew Thomas Magic, Kevin Skinner, and Grandma Lee, while the judges selected Arcadian Broad over Thia Megia. Hoping to join them this week are the following acts: acrobatic newlyweds Paradizo Dance; sexagenarian dancer Carol Loo; singer/pianist/precocious little girl Eleisha Miller; canine disc act Tony Hoard & Rory; vocal trio The Texas Tenors; string-n-sing triplets Alizma; singer/pianist Charles DeWayne; Presidential impersonator Pete Peterkin; vocal sibling trio The Voices of Glory; and clogging sisters The Fab Five. Also, coming back as wildcards are the acrobatic Beale Street Flippers and dance crew SQ Entertainment. Are all of the wildcards going to be dance groups?

Since dance groups always go first on this show, The Fab Five will perform first. As you may remember, the Fab Five are sisters from Utah who are now all mothers as well. Sharon likes their energy, but Piers reminds us that their cuteness will only take them so far. They've had to hold "cyber-rehearsals" for a while since they live in different states. Can they come together now?

The Fab Five don firefighter uniforms and clog to "Fire Burning." Compared to previous clogging troupes, I just don't think the Fab Five are all that special. They are good dancers, no arguing about that. The fire theme was pretty cool, too (and yes, I'm aware of the oxymoron of describing fire as "cool"), and the choreography fit the music nicely. In the end, though, I'm just not excited by them. Of course, I wasn't as excited by Extreme Dance FX at first. Maybe these women will convince me in time.

Piers likes that they are true to their name – five ladies who are fabulous. Sharon thought this was a brilliant way to start the show. David calls them "blazing mamas" and saw that they came to play.

Charles DeWayne is up next. The musician's greatest inspirations are Stevie Wonder, Earth Wind & Fire, and Whitney Houston. In high school, his football teammates would get on his case for pursuing music, but that's what he likes. Sharon likes Charles in return, and she hopes he delivers.

Charles performs "Just the Two of Us." I'll say it now -- Charles is not the greatest singer in the world. His voice and piano skills are solid, but I wouldn't want to watch him perform for an hour. There are plenty of people who would, however, and in that respect, I think Charles did his job.

Sharon wants something more up-tempo than this "old man romantic dinner" song, but she knows he'll be back. Didn't she say the same about Thia Megia? David loves Charles' voice, but he wants more intimacy. Piers apologizes for the negativity of his fellow judges, because he's convinced that Charles can be a major star. Eh, I'd wait to say that.

Next is Carol Loo (nee Lugo). Carol is a cashier who started dancing in her grandmother's kitchen. Dance has always been in her soul, and she always works in her dancing shoes. Sharon likes Carol's crazy dancing. Carol will be doing steps she has never done before this time.

Carol comes down to the stage in a bucket dancing to a song I don't recognize before getting into "Push It." She starts off dressed as a young woman from the '60s. In other words, it's strangely age-appropriate. At least until the backup dancers rip it off to reveal a skimpier outfit. Barf! This is when Piers buzzes her. Carol is definitely giving it her all, and for a 63-year-old grandma (I think), she is a lot of fun. As for this being a million-dollar Vegas act? Yeah, right.

David calls Carol "Hoff-tastic." Piers couldn't enjoy it after she stripped down for the hip-hop part. For him, this is not a million-dollar act. Carol says she grows from constructive criticism, so she thanks Piers. Sharon is amazed by Carol's chutzpah and believes Carol can dance.

I'm looking forward to the fourth act, Tony Hoard & Rory. Rory has been Tony's best bud ever since he received the dog following a newspaper ad. In Hollywood, Rory got to go to a dog spa. Sharon knows Tony and Rory will not let her down. However, the lights during practice have been causing problems for Rory. Will that continue to the live performance?

Tony & Rory perform a Baywatch-themed number to "Move It Like This." Tony is way off on a lot of his throws, and Piers buzzes him for it. The lights and everything are causing problems for Rory. In the end, it's a cute, fun performance, but it won't get much work outside of break time at sporting events.

Piers says Rory dropped every disc tossed (no, he didn't), but he blames Tony for this. Tony admits he wasn't on this time. Sharon loves Rory, even though he did seem distracted by the music and background dancers. David liked the tie-in to Baywatch, and he wants to make a new show named "Rorywatch."

Next up is nine-year-old Eleisha Miller, perhaps the youngest contestant that almost everyone (at least those who e-mailed me) didn't think should have advanced. Eleisha knew she needed to work on her vocals, so she worked with a vocal teacher. David and the judges voted for Eleisha because of her charisma, but does she have talent?

Judging by her performance of "I Got the Music in Me," I have to say, "no, she doesn't have talent." She even gets a buzz from Piers, which tells you that not even a nine-year-old can escape his honesty. She does thank America at the end of her dance-filled performance, though. She is a very energetic and outgoing girl, so once she matures and finds her true strengths, she'll be a success. Not now, though.

Eleisha tells Sharon that she enjoyed the performance. Sharon admits that there were vocal problems, and Eleisha is aware of that. David doesn't know if Eleisha will win, but he loves her energy. Eleisha thinks singing is in her heart, but if it's not right for her, she'll give it up. Piers has to agree.

The first hour better end on a high note, courtesy of Paradizo Dance. Piers doesn't know how the little wife can lift her heavy husband. If Zoe ever drops Dave, it could be a disaster. The opposite holds true as well, of course.

Paradizo Dance performs to "Halo." There are a few new tricks, such as Dave balancing on Zoe's knees and Dave lifting Zoe by her feet from the floor. That was pretty neat. Also, the rest of the acrobatic tricks are much cleaner than they were in the audition. It's not the greatest act ever, and it can be boring to a lot of people, but it tops the first hour.

If David could vote, he'd vote for them as he loves everything about these lovebirds. Piers finds this an incredible act, especially with the weight difference between the two. Sharon found the performance fluid and loves this show for giving people like these two a stage.

I wasn't too excited by anyone in the first hour, so let's see if The Texas Tenors can start hour two with a bang. The trio came together when the unemployed blond member asked his cash-strapped friends to form a vocal group and try out for this show. The Tenors chose an important song to many Americans. Oh, please don't be "God Bless the USA."