The Great American Road Trip, Episode 8: Who’s Cubing Who?

The action picks up as the Cootes defeat their friends, the Pollards, and join the DiSalvatores in the finals. Despite their issues, the DiSalvatores graciously offer their congratulations to the Cootes. Jennifer Coote tells us she finds this “fake.” Keith Coote offers a salute to the departing Pollards, and exclaims, “The DiSals are next!” This doesn’t go down well with Amy DiSalvatore, who snarls to us, “If you’re going to say our name, say it right Mr. Cooty!” Silvio DiSalvatore tells her it’s not worth getting riled, they need to focus on the prize.

Host Reno Collier tells the families their next destination is Los Angeles. He also gives the families a cube, the first of five they will eventually receive. Once they have all the cubes, they will learn the location of the End of the Road challenge. Reno tells the families they will get the next cube at LAX. Of course, the DiSalvatores argue with every mile. The Cootes are steely and focused.

Both families know to go to Southwest Airlines’ ticket booth and they are given tickets… but to where? Keith Coote and Silvio DiSalvatore admit they are anxious about the mystery location and what might be waiting for them. Soon they learn they aren’t taking a flight – they are meeting special passengers. It’s the mothers of Jennifer Coote and Amy DiSalvatore. Both are carrying cubes!

Amy tells us that the Cootes rushed her mother and tried to get the cube from her. Jennifer remarks that her own mom was a little shocked that Jennifer snatched the cube before even saying hello! Jennifer says she is trying to win! That means no time for “socializing with Grandma!” Jennifer is visibly irritated as Cassidy and Jake Coote breathlessly tell Grandma Coote (for lack of a better name) all they have done on the roadtrip.

The DiSalvatores are more than happy to visit with Grandma DiSalvatore (no, they didn’t tell us these ladies’ names!). Amy whips out her scrapbook full of pics and mementos of their journey. Grandma loves it!

Both families are directed to Universal Studios. They take the VIP tour on the same tram but speak nary a word to each other. At the Jaws exhibit, they simultaneously see the third cube and dispatch the younger and faster family members to get them. Blake DiSalvatore arrives first, but accidentally grabs the Cootes’ cube, which makes the Cassidy and Jake Coote bristle. Amy snickers that the Cootes aren’t used to losing at anything.

The families head to the Roosevelt Hotel on Hollywood Boulevard for their last clue box. At the hotel, the families go to dinner… in neighboring booths… but still not a word is spoken between them – yet, they have plenty to say about each other. Both tables tell their grandmas why they don’t like each other. The Cootes think they are hated because they always win. The DiSalvatores say the Cootes have called them cheaters and mocked their Brooklyn roots.

The next morning, by the pool, Reno congratulates both families on making it this far… and gives them their final cubes. The families huddle and both realize the cubes form a picture of Santa Monica Pier. That is the location of the End of the Road Challenge!

The Cootes are raring to go! Jake Coote leads a “let’s get fired up!” cheer. Grandma Coote sarcastically suggests giving him more chocolate. Silvio tells us his family could definitely use the $100,000. He says they have had real financial problems in the last couple of years.

Now, the families are on the way to Santa Monica Pier. When the Cootes arrive, Jake and Cassidy ooh and ahh at the rides. Jennifer says they can have fun later. Focus! It’s like she should be holding a riding crop. Amy marvels that she is actually smelling the “Specific Ocean.”

Reno welcomes the families when they arrive. He reminds them they are competing for $100,000 and a year’s worth of gas from Shell. They will also get a Universal Studios vacation and four round trip airline tickets from Southwest Airlines. I’m assuming they ate free at Roosevelt Hotel! Any other sponsors want to throw in something?? Garnier Fructise? Doritos? No? We go on.

The final task works like this: the families are given eight cubes with the families’ pictures on them. The families’ photos are superimposed over landmarks that they have visited on the road trip. They must place the cubes on an enormous map in the order that they arrived at the location pictured. Reno says there are some fake photos on the cubes as well – places not included in the road trip. Tricky!

When the families feel they have the correct cubes in the right order, they must push a giant button. If they are right, they will hear a bell. Jennifer says she expected the last challenge to be harder. Blake worries that Silvio tends to have focus issues (he has a point), and figures Silvio should just concentrate on how to push the button when they are done!

Ready? Go!

In the challenge, the DiSalvatores get tripped up on a picture in front of the Lincoln Memorial (erm, that’s in Washington, DC! They didn’t go there!). Amy explains they went to Lincoln’s home in Illinois, which is what was throwing them off. This costs them some time. Meanwhile, the Cootes are convinced they are correct, but Reno whispers to us that they are confusing a picture of Niagara Falls with Hoover Dam. Wrong. They start to panic.

Over at the DiSalvatores, Mason DiSalvatore (the self-proclaimed “only normal DiSalvatore”) eyes the cubes carefully. Amy says her Mason is quite intelligent and he has soaked up every experience. Mason has assessed and processed and takes control! He explains with conviction why the wrong cubes are wrong, and won’t let Silvio talk him out of his decision.

The Cootes are still panicking and yelling at each other and telling each other to shut up. Jennifer tells us her family always works together as a team – this time was different. Mason DiSalvatore is directing his family like an air traffic controller. Amy tells us she was silently praying she would not hear the Cootes’ buzzer while Mason was lining things up. Mason decides they have the right cubes in the right order. But they are still wrong!

Reno tells us the Cootes are getting closer. They have stopped yelling and are putting the puzzle together. Mason thinks he sees the problem and tells Silvio and Amy to switch two cubes. He’s sure this time and tells his family to get off the map. The Cootes are back to shrieking at each other.

The DiSalvatores gather at the button and push it. They are right!! They’ve won! The Cootes glare at them in disbelief. “You guys suck!” snaps Cassidy at her parents. The DiSalvatores jump up and down and hug each other. A shrieking Amy just can’t believe they actually won. Mason is high-fiving like he just won the Super Bowl. Reno and the Cootes give a polite round of applause (which I am positive he had to encourage!).

“How did they win?” Cassidy sneers. Grandma Coote tells her to cool it. However they won, Cassidy, they did!

Reno asks the DiSalvatores what is the biggest lesson they’ve learned. Of course, he gets four different answers at the same time. Keith Coote says this loss hurt, but he is proud of his family. Jennifer hugs Amy and tells the DiSalvatores, “You guys worked your asses off!” She actually sounds sincere! Jennifer tells us the DiSalvatores had to work hard to get to the end having been in so many elimination challenges, and it probably helped them come together.

It just might have! Congratulations to the DiSalvatores. How will we spend the rest of our summer without Silvio DiSalvatore? Silvio, if you’re out there, you are a star!

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Sting7 has been a respected published writer for many years, as a music editor, entertainment critic, columnist, and interviewer. He loves cold lemonade, ice cream, and kittens! You can email Stinger at stingseven@yahoo.com.

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