America's Got Talent 4, September 9: Nothing But Craziness

Ladies, gentlemen, and everyone who thinks today is special just because it's 9/9/09! Welcome to a shortened results episode of America's Got Talent, thanks to the Presidential address. Hey, at least it's not a shortened performance episode, like what happened in last year's finale. I'm still mad about that.

Let's remember what happened Tuesday night: Recycled Percussion went first, so no matter how good they were, they were doomed; Lawrence Beamen lost some steam singing Alicia Keys; Erik & Rickie tangoed to Michael Jackson in a toy store; Jeffrey Ou played the piano as crazily as he did his hair; Hairo Torres became king of the prom; The EriAm Sisters had a poor start but a solid finish; Mario & Jenny stripped the danger out of their act; Drew Stevyns destroyed Seether and got praise for it; FootworKINGz weren't very powerful for Rangers; and Barbara Padilla ended the show with possibly the best performance of the season.

Five more acts will advance to next Monday's final performance round. You heard me, Monday. Way to go, NBC. With so many threads of tradition cut already, what's one more sudden schedule change?

First on the chopping block are FootworKINGz and Hairo Torres. This is an obvious choice, so welcome finalist #6... Hairo Torres! Will Hairo be the only non-singer of the week going through to the finals?

We won't be finding out now, because the show has to waste more time by showing that the decision to change the rules wasn't pre-planned. I still don't believe it. Then they waste time with another stupid product-placed popcorn piece. Way to go, NBC. I know you have to pay the bills, but this has to be the worst way to do it.

Okay, enough of the producers ticking me off. Let America's votes do it. The results are up for Erik & Rickie and Jeffrey Ou. Really? Could one of these two acts make it through despite less than thrilling reviews and an X each from Piers? These two have to sweat out a commercial break before learning that... they are both out. Way to go, NBC. Give two young kids false hope, make them wait a commercial break, then let them down.

Next up are Mario & Jenny and... Recycled Percussion?! This can't be another double elimination, because that would mean the results are over twenty minutes early. That means one act is in the finals, and that act is... Recycled Percussion! I can't believe it. Maybe America learned its lesson after letting Acrodunk go.

That means that one of the singing acts is indeed going home. Will it be Lawrence Beamen, whom the judges weren't feeling so much? The EriAm Sisters, who started out weak but ended strong? Drew Stevyns, who got praise for copying Seether? Or Barbara Padilla in the biggest shock of the season?

We'll find out after a performance from the Tony-award-winning cast of Jersey Boys doing "Can't Take My Eyes Off of You," "Walk Like a Man," and... uh, I don't know the last song. However, it's a fun performance, and I bet the show would be fun to see. Now where's my paycheck, Jersey Boys promoters?

With just a few minutes and one elimination left, will NBC decide to drag out the last results and screw up programming, or will they do the right thing and just announce who's out, sending the other three on by default in time for Law & Order: SVU? Well, after a plug for next season's auditions, they decide to drag it out. Way to go, NBC. Tick off the fans of SVU reruns. So, Nick says the fourth spot (fourth?) goes to... Barbara Padilla! The property of duh wins again. Speaking of duh, learn to count, Nick.

After wasting more time talking to the judges about Barbara, the next finalist is revealed to be... Lawrence Beamen! Wow, I wasn't expecting that. I also wasn't expecting NBC to drag out this pointless exercise into overtime, seeing as how last year's Presidential shortened the most crucial performance episode! I did expect a commercial break, though. Somehow, I don't think this episode is completely live, despite the "Live" label in the corner...

Anyway, I wouldn't mind either act getting eliminated, but I sure don't want Drew to be it. And... America hates me. Drew is in, The EriAm Sisters are out. Sigh. I'd take the Texas Tenors over Drew to win. At least they are original.

The ten finalists are set, and the finals are ready to go Monday, against a Monday Night Football double header, starting with the freakin' Patriots. Way to go, NBC. It's as if they're trying to get this show yanked off the air. See ya then!

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Tyler can be reached at tejayes@yahoo.com. What do you like? What do you hate? I mean, besides NBC.

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