America's Got Talent 4, September 14: Ten Little Talents

Ladies, gentlemen, and Jay Leno! Welcome to the finals of America's Got Talent! This week, America will vote among ten acts to determine the best new act in America because even if 80% of the voters absolutely hate a certain act, the other 20% could make that act the winner. So yeah.

Seeing as this is America's Got Talent's crucial final performance round, the first performance starts fifteen minutes into the show. Before that, we have to hear Nick Cannon and his awful jacket promise a performance by Susan Boyle on the results show, Piers Morgan say there is no clear favorite (maybe he realizes Kevin isn't that good), Sharon Osbourne show off the million dollars on her wrist, and David Hasselhoff not make any "Hoff" puns. Thank you!

So will a singing act actually start an episode this time? Yes, but at least it's a group, keeping with tradition. First up is The Voices of Glory. Other than showing off a lot of tears of joy following the "rule change" that kept these kids in the competition, there's no point to this intro video. Are these videos necessary? Can't they use the time to perform longer?

Guess not. The Voices of Glory sing "The Greatest Love of All." This is their best performance since the audition, but it won't matter since they're performing first. And it's still not quite million-dollar worthy. Nadia on her own is a touch flat, but their harmonies are finally on in full force. In any case, Nadia and her brothers, whose names I forget, will have a good future in the inspirational music business, should they pursue it.

Piers is unhappy with the boys because they have better suits than he does. Gotta say, purple does look good on Avery and Michael (thanks Sharon!). He also thinks they all clicked into place. Sharon thinks the kids should be proud of themselves because everything was perfectly in sync. David says they hit it out of the park and, like their mother, brought Piers out of a coma.

Up next is Hairo Torres. Oh, boo. I was hoping he'd perform later and actually stand a chance. Curse you, short attention spans. His intro video is mostly about picking the right song. It's still a waste of time, so from now on, I won't bother with recapping the intro videos and cut straight to the performance.

Hairo, the last solo dancer standing (which is still better than last season), dances to "Puttin' on the Ritz" and "Closer." Hairo does a really good job combining his crazy moves with emotion. Every full-length show needs to have a good mix of fun and emotion, and Hairo proved he can do it. Which means the judges will try to sabotage him.

Sharon says Hairo took a big risk doing an emotional performance, but she thinks it was the right thing. David says... something. I can't understand anything he says. Piers loves Hairo, but he doesn't think the routine worked. Sigh. He's disappointed that Hairo lost the background dancers and the fun. Hello, Piers! This was supposed to be an emotional performance, not a fun performance. Why does Piers think every act has to be kept inside one box?

Let's see if the judges will throw Lawrence Beamen under the bus. He sings "You're the First, the Last, My Everything." Talk about the perfect song choice. Not only is it a change from the slow songs he always sang before, it's perfectly in his vocal range. Lawrence himself doesn't really have the star quality to make the song just pop, but it still sounds very nice. It won't get him the win, but he proved his place in this final round.

David is honored to be a part of his journey, and Lawrence is leaving the show a star. Piers says Lawrence proved why he wanted to hear Barry White. Still, Piers wasn't feeling the love from Lawrence like Barry could deliver. Thank you, Piers. Sharon thought it was the most comfortable she has ever seen Lawrence.

Will Barbara Padilla impress everyone again? After her cancer-centric intro video, Barbara reprises the song she sang at her audition, "O Mio Babino, Caro." Sorry, but I hate it when contestants perform the exact same number again when they don't have to. It feels like a copout to me. As you may have guessed, I prefer variety in my performers (see Hairo Torres and Kevin Skinner, who I like and dislike for said reasons). That said, Barbara sang really nicely. There's a chance for her to win, though I'm not sure Vegas is the right fit for her. This show really needs to offer a choice of venue for the winner, like New York or an Orlando theme park for the kid acts.

Piers loves the ending of "An Officer and a Gentleman," which is supposed to have something to do with how good Barbara was. Sharon says Barbara looks like a billion dollars and sounds like three billion dollars. David thinks he's looking at Audrey Hepburn and believes Barbara will play bigger halls than Vegas. At last we agree.

From one mom to five, here is The Fab Five. The sisters clog to "Circus." Whether it was thanks to a rule change or not, I'm glad they came back. The only issue with these ladies is that I can't see how they can expand the act into a full show based on what we've seen throughout the season. That said, they gave one amazing stand-alone performance this week. I don't think they can win, but after a performance like that, who knows?

Sharon says the performance was "beautifully choreographered." Dictionary, Sharon? David wonders if the Fab Five ever stops smiling. He can't stop smiling, either. Piers is amazed that the sisters are the best of friends, knowing that his brothers kill each other for karaoke. He also loves the dedication the women put into the act.

Starting off the second half is The Texas Tenors, who I would love more if they sang better. Will they win me over by singing "My Way?" Not quite. The solos, as always, are pretty good. The harmonies, however, are still cacophonic. I still believe the concept of the act would fit like a glove in Vegas (country + classical + cheese = sure, why not Vegas), but the vocals just aren't good enough in my opinion.

Commence overrating. David says they have guts to sing a Sinatra song, but it was terrific. He thinks they could have gone cheesy, but they didn't. Piers can't believe David, because he thought it was the cheesiest thing ever. However, he couldn't stop singing the Tenors' "Unchained Melody." He thinks they are good cheese. Sharon agrees that they are triple cheese, but the harmonies are superb. I have to laugh at that.