Dancing with the Stars 9, September 22: Ladies’ Night

Welcome back to Dancing with the Stars … the recap. Sandy Lamparello got you caught up on the first night’s hoofing action starring the male celebrities. Now it’s time for the ladies to take the floor!

If you’re not sure who this years couples are, check out Sandy’s preview article. Plus, we’ve got some new math this year with the relay dance, which we’ll be seeing later in the episode. We’ll talk about the numbers then, but what it means is that each couple is doing both Latin and ballroom tonight. Got it? Okay, let’s move on.

Before hosts Tom Bergeron and Samantha Harris (wearing a different but lovely classic hairdo) greet us as per usual, we’re introduced to the female professional dancers our celebrity guys are be partnering up with this season – to the tune of “She‘s a Lady,” of course. Sexy, sexy, sexy. Sandy said she was jealous of me for getting to see the male pros during the bulk of tonight’s episode – but it’s a fair trade, since she had Edyta, Cheryl, and Lacey on Monday (drool).

The salsa and the Viennese waltz are tonight’s two featured dances. Four couples will do one, four the other. And our first celebrity to dance is …

Debi Mazar. You know, she’s remarkably well-known, yet I can’t think of a single major role she’s had. Lots of smaller ones, but nothing that stands out. She probably gets confused with Fran Drescher a lot (especially she played Fran’s cousin in a short-lived sitcom). Debi herself tells us she’s “best known for portraying strong women on film and television,” currently on Entourage. Well, that clears it up.

We see a clip of Debi groovin’ on one of those ’80s dance party shows, Graffiti Rock. Oh holy cow, that’s embarrassing. Debi meets her partner Maksim Chmerkovskiy in the studio. He’s a tough love-type, but he doesn’t scare Debi. Maks thinks he has the perfect partner this season, except for the fact that she has a short attention span (and apparently “monkey arms,” as she puts it). She talks. A lot.

The two perform their salsa to a kicky tune sung in Spanish that I’m totally unfamiliar with. Debi looks like a natural to me. She moves well, and has a great body for dancing. She also puts a lot of pop into it. I predict she’ll go far this season.

But what do the judges think? Len Goodman apparently disagrees with me (about this performance, anyway). It’s all about the hips, and that element was missing, largely because her feet were flat, which affects her legs and then her hips. Debi is full of potential, but there’s a lot of work to do.

Bruno Tonioli says Debi can work her “ba-zoom” like nobody else. “Ba-zoom” means, of course, bosom, and Maks covers his partners ears. Heh. However, she keeps her weight on the back of her feet, and she needs to stop. Also, her timing was all over the place.

Carrie Ann Inaba thinks it’s tougher on the girls to shine. Really? Okay. She says Debi lacked connection from her character to the move. Debi was thinking to much and not sassy enough.

Time for a Samantha Chat in the “Red Room” – Maks interrupts to ask how Debi got lipstick on her cheek. Apparently, what goes on backstage stays backstage. The rest of it is pretty boring.

Scores, please! Carrie Ann gives Debi a 6, Len a 5, and Bruno a 5. That’s a 16 for Debi. She says she’ll work harder and get it right next time. Wow, I just didn’t think it was that bad.

Next up is Melissa Joan Hart, perhaps the female celebrity I’m most familiar with this season. You may know her better as Sabrina the Teenage Witch (or perhaps Ferguson‘s sister). Melissa hopes the audience realizes she’s a woman now, not a teenage … whatever.

Partner Mark Ballas watched Sabrina faithfully, so he’s excited to have Melissa as a partner. Melissa is dealing with awkwardness, and is afraid she’ll fall flat on her face … literally. Mark says her biggest challenge is her posture. However, she’s competitive and determined to conquer the Viennese waltz.

Oh, it’s a nice theatrical opening to the dance with Melissa slumped across the steps and Mark sweeping away the sad girl. It’s very romantic and elegant. They’re dancing to David Cook’s “The Time of my Life” – nice reality show cross-reference there – and Melissa and Mark looks very natural together (she’s in a pretty white dress). I don’t know. It looks good. But I thought Debi was good too.

Bruno asks if Melissa is nervous. A little bit, yeah. Bruno says it was prim, proper, and adequate, but failed to ignite. Melissa needs to watch her lines along her upper body, and because she was tense, she didn’t perform as well as she could.

Carrie Ann said Melissa created a few moments that we’ll remember, but she lacked a connection to the beat of the music. However, Melissa has a real elegance that will be more exciting to see as we go forward.

The start of the dance was a bit sweet and sappy for Len, but Melissa’s technique and movement were pretty good, aside from some poor footwork here and there.

Samantha Chat! Melissa has been wanting to appear on the show for a while; after the hearing the judges, is she sorry to be here now? No way, Melissa is having the best time.

Scores: Carrie Ann 6, Len 6, Bruno 6. That’s an 18, and Mark will take this score happily.

I’ve had a celebrity crush on Mya for years – just a beautiful woman with a really nice voice – so I’m glad to see her on the show. She’s paired with Dmitry Chaplin (lucky $#^%&!) and shares that she’s been tap-dancing since she was 5 (we get to see some adorable pictures of little Mya) but has never tried ballroom before.