Dancing With the Stars 9, October 5: Latin Night!

Hello, friends. Sandy is ill this week and has asked me to write the recap of your favorite ballroom dance competition in her stead (so, sorry, no “I’ll Be the Judge of That!” column on Foxes On Idol this week). Last week, we said goodbye to Kathy Ireland and Tony Dovolani. Let’s all take a moment of silence to mourn the loss of Tony…

Tonight is “Latin Night,” which means there will be no smooth dances. Instead we get to watch our stars do the high-energy samba and the sensual rumba. I’m a little sad that I won’t be doing my usual commentary article this week because I just barely did a samba routine myself. I may have to slip in a little commentary here and there as I recap the show. So, let’s get on with it!

We are greeted by our hosts, Tom Bergeron and Samantha Harris. Samantha calls Latin Night the “sexiest night of competition.” I always love getting a look at the costumes as the dancers descend the stairs and try to guess what dance they’re each going to do. The women are sufficiently naked, as usual,

Tom says that Latin Night is a nice way to “warm the cockles” of head judge, Len Goodman, who is back for the rest of the season. Samantha tells us that Tom Delay’s pre-stress fracture has escalated into a full stress fracture and we don’t know if he will be dancing tonight or not. He is in costume so I imagine the assumption is that he will dance unless he decides not to at the last minute.

Mark Decasos and Lacey Schwimmer start us off. In the intro video, Lacey says that Mark is like a little three-year-old – he just bounces from wall to wall. He’ll need to learn to slow down for the rumba. He says if he can slow it down and be smooth, this rumba is going to be hot. Mark comes up with the best sound bites!

Mark and Lacey are dancing to “Don’t Lie,” by Black Eyed Peas. Mark is wearing black pants and vest with a charcoal grey shirt. Lacy is in a short purple dress with one weird black sleeve. The choreography is nice and sexy, but I don’t feel a whole lot of genuine chemistry between Mark and Lacey. Mark has gorgeous lines, though. You rarely see lines that nice from someone who hasn’t studied ballet.

Len says that the rumba is a difficult dance for the celebrity men. They’re either too soft and feminine or too hard and aggressive. He thought it was a tad on the hard side, which made it lack chemistry and warmth. I agree. Bruno says it was an “anti-climax” because it was too staccato. It lacked the fluidity necessary for the rumba and that Mark should switch it on. Carrie Ann says Mark probably shares the same quality of movement that Aaron and Mya have, but something is lacking with his connection. She says he lacks sensuality and confidence, that he’s concentrating too hard on the pictures. Lacey looks like she agrees. She says it was kind of uncomfortable to watch. Ouch.

Samantha asks Mark if flirting with his wife a the beginning made things easier and he says it made him more nervous because, after that, she had to watch him going for Lacey. Lacey looks embarrassed. All three judges give them 6’s for a total of 18. I think that’s way too low. Samantha says it’s all the more reason to stay with his wife. Um, OK…

Joanna Krupa and Derek Hough are next. Joanna comments that last week they went from the top to the middle of the pack, so she needs to do something to stand out with her samba. She says that since a lot of the celebrities have a bigger fan base than she does, she has to wow the audience with a lot of “shaky, shaky.” Derek says they are going to do a tricky move called a shadow roll for Len’s return. Yeah, that’s a tricky move all right. My instructor once told me that on a scale of 1 to 10, mine were a 3… and that if I practiced them for a year, I might get them to a 4.

Joanna and Derek are dancing to a song in Spanish. Derek is wearing all black with a sparkly shirt. Joana has on a pink and orange leopard print dress and has odd hair, again. Her lips look huge. Derek swings in on a rope. Joanna gets nasty right from the start and personally, I think it’s a bit much. There’s something odd about this routine. She seems to freeze in between steps, so there’s no continuity. After the first week, I thought she’d be a great contender, but now she’s starting to disappoint. Also… wait for it… she needs to point her feet!

Len calls Derek the Spandex Tarzan. Heh. Bruno says that the good times are back with a samba full of excitement and life. He says the footwork is unsteady and she should work on her strength. I can relate to that. Carrie Ann agrees says that she loves how fearless Joanna is. She thought it was super sexy and she’s a girl. Len says it had quality stamped all over it. He mentions that it had a lovely rhythmic kick and he appreciated the shadow roll. He jokingly says that it wasn’t really necessary to do six stationary samba walks, though. Tom asks Len if he went to marshmallow camp last week.

Results show plug.

Carrie Ann gives them a 7 and the men give them 8’s for a total of 23 points. Derek comments that he almost fell as he swung in on that rope.

Next we have Mya and Dmitri Chaplin doing the rumba. Dmitri says that since Len is back on the panel, their choreography is “very close” to being traditional. Mya’s having trouble getting into seductive mode. She says there’s no inspiration in the room. Ouch. Mya surprises Dmitri by dressing up the studio to help get in character. She’s wearing a sequined red cocktail dress and has candles and rose petals all over the place.