Dancing With the Stars 9, October 26: Len Remembered His Happy Pills

Hello again, everyone. While Sandy takes a much-deserved rest after running a marathon on Sunday, I’ll be stepping in to write the recap of everybody’s favorite ballroom-dance reality TV show. Way to go, Sandy! Now without further ado, let’s bring on the show.

As always, Tom Bergeron and Samantha Harris are our greeters and our hosts for the evening. Tonight, for the first time ever, our stars will compete in a dance marathon to survive a double-elimination. Nine stars remain after last week’s surprising elimination of Natalie Coughlan. For their individual routine, each couple will dance either the jitterbug (with lifts allowed) or the waltz. The dance marathon will feature the mambo. All the couples will be on the floor at the same time and eliminated one by one.

Mya and Dmitri Chaplin start us off with a jitterbug. Mya says in her intro video that if you want to avoid being in the bottom two, the only safe place is at the top. She says that this week she’s aiming for a score of 30. Mya is relieved to be able to do a big fun dance after last week’s Argentine tango. She wants to capture the fun to make up for her lack of emotional connection last week. Sheesh, you’d think she had been in the bottom two or something! Mya explains that in all the performing she’s done, nothing has taken such a tool on her body as this has. We see Mya getting a massage after which she says she feels like a new person. She says that her plan is “to float like a jitterbug and sting like a bee.”

Mya and Dmitri are dancing to “C’mon Everybody,” by Eddie Cochran. Dmitri is dressed like an old-school janitor and starts out the dance sweeping the floor, literally. Mya is wearing a cute white maid’s dress with red polka dots. She starts out dusting the judges table with a feather duster. The dance is fun and they do a great job, as usual. Mya looks like she’s having a great time. They make the lifts look easy.

Len says that the last refuge of the untalented is with gimmicks and props. He says that as good as she is, it’s not necessary to waste 20 bars polishing his desk. He says he was disappointed. What they did, they did well, he just wanted more of it. Bruno says that “cleanliness is next to godliness.” He says what they did was stylistically spot on. Their timing was incredible. They were so in sync it was like watching one person dancing. Carrie Ann disagrees with Bruno and he says there are two “barmy” people there tonight. She says that what is lacking is the wild and craziness of the jitterbug. She says Mya did it well, but it was slightly too soft and muted. Bruno is making very weird unbelieving faces.

Samantha asks Mya if they’re tougher on her because of their high expectations. Mya says they are very tough on everybody. Carrie Ann gives them an 8, Len a 7, and Bruno a 9 for a score of 24.

Melissa Joan Hart and Mark Balas are next. Melissa says that the competition is getting really tough so it’s time for her to step it up a notch and really get serious. Mark things the slow and controlled waltz is going to be a challenge for Melissa. Melissa is really struggling with relaxing her shoulders and the posture of the waltz in rehearsal. Mark brings his mom in to help her and she definitely doesn’t sugar-coat any of her criticism. Melissa says that if she can remember half of what Shirley told her, this waltz will be a class act.

Melissa and Mark are dancing to “Only One Road” by Celine Dion. Melissa is wearing a long lavender dress and a large purple flower in her hair. Mark has on a black suit with a skinny purple tie. Something about the way Melissa is dancing looks very tentative. She’s not taking the big, confident steps the waltz demands. I don’t think she’s going to get great scores.

Bruno says that it wasn’t good. He says it didn’t look like she was dancing, but trying to remember what she was told. I agree. He says her posture was bad and there was no flow to the dance. Carrie Ann comments that at least she “kept her puppies up,” (referring to her bust). She says the waltz is supposed to be smooth and flowing and it looked like the floor was sticky. That’s a good way to describe it. Len says that it had musicality and that Melissa looked elegant. He liked the changes from hold to open position. He says there were some problems with the technique, but he thought the others’ critiques were a little harsh. Tom says that’s the pot calling the kettles black. No kidding.

Results show plug. Tom tells us that the couple with the lowest combined judges scores and viewer votes will be eliminated, and then the next two lowest couples will perform a new dance for the judges in a dance-off. Wow. They sure do have to learn a lot of routines this season.

Carrie Ann and Len give them a 7 and Bruno gives them a 6, giving them a total score of 20.

Next we have Mark Decascos and Lacey Shwimmer doing the jitterbug. Lacey says that this week she’s making Mark stand out by having him do all the tricks and flips. Mark gets very serious when he’s learning something new and Lacey tries to help him loosen up. Lacey takes him to a jitterbug club and one of the dancers there says the jitterbug isn’t a dance, it’s an attitude.

Mark and Lacey are dancing to “Cat on a Hot Tin Roof,” by Brian Setzer. Lacey is wearing a short sparkly black outfit with a bow that looks a bit like cat ears and Mark is wearing a silver suit with a skinny black tie. The choreography is really great and Mark does do a lot of impressive tricks. I really enjoyed watching it. So did the audience, it seems.

Carrie Ann cheers profusely. She says that she loved it and is so bummed that he made a little stumble at the end. Len says that sometimes less is more, but not in the jitterbug. He says it was full of energy and great. Bruno says he did a great job but he did lose the timing a bit at the end. Len makes a gesture like he doesn’t care about the stumble.

Carrie Ann and Len give them a 9 and Bruno gives them an 8. The audience boos. Their total score is 26.