Survivor Through the Eyes of the Mole Winner, Episode 7: I Lost My Winner!

Wuh wuh wuh wahhhhh! Oh, we’re sorry Mr. Lambrecht, but thanks for playing our little game. And don’t be too dejected because here are your lovely parting gifts: A one week stay at the fabulous Hotel Hantz, complete with burnt socks, no water, and a dirty old pork pie hat! But that’s not all! You will also be receiving a full-day yoga and fishing demonstration compliments of The Shambo Shack and a one week all-inclusive seminar on how to play the game of Survivor hosted by all of this season’s castaways! Wuh wuh wuh waaaaahhhhh! Cut to a shot of an inconsolable Mark schlepping away to the strains of Frank Sinatra’s “That’s Life.”

AAARRRGGH! Lost my winner, lost my winner, lost my winner! I don’t care if I realized, two episodes in that she had no chance of winning… I LOST MY WINNER!! So, with that said, I can now regroup and start focusing on the game at hand. There is a game at hand, right?

I mean hey, I totally understand that my comments this season have been pretty negative, but as this site’s resident super fan/past reality contestant, I feel that it’s sort of my job to hold this game to a higher standard. I guess it’s sort of like the rabid Red Sox fan who seems to never be happy with how the team is doing unless they win the World Series every year.

If Foa Foa lost, this was what was going to happen. They did and it did. After one decent episode, we were back to the same fairly dull and formulaic episode that we have become accustomed to this season. Liz is now gone, the merge is upon us, and as far as I can tell it’s not going to get much less predictable. (And hey, if I have six of eight pre-merge boots correct... the season is PREDICTABLE!)

This is how I see the game now breaking down. The girls on Galu have an alliance. The guys on Galu have an alliance and have made Shambo feel special now by making her “chief” and so she will side with them. The Foa Foas are going to side with the women of Galu because A) Russell is in control of the remaining Foas (none of whom seem to have a mind of their own in this game), B) Russell has made a pact with Laura and as long as she doesn’t even so much as hint that she doesn’t trust him, he will stay true to that alliance, and C) Russell will want the men, especially the strong men, of Galu gone as soon as possible. Wow, apparently Russell may actually be in control of this game after all!

Therefore, I believe that Foa Foa now technically has a 7-5 advantage over the Men-of-Galu-plus-Shambo alliance. I think, starting with Erik or John this week, the Galu men and Shambo could be picked off until the Foa four and the Galu female three remain. Obviously, individual immunity will come in to play at some point, as well as possibly an immunity idol, but for the most part, Galu will be Timbira’d until probably two Foa’s and one Galu remain in the final three.

That’s how I see it. There will be some intriguing and maybe even interesting twists along the way that may keep us watching, but I think my comments above are what we have to look forward to. I won’t even be surprised if there isn’t a family episode this time around. If you’ve noticed, there have been no family storylines mentioned at all (unless you call Russell’s fake dog family) and when have we ever seen that?! Maybe casting via Facebook and bars isn’t the only money-saving measure the show has taken this time around. And trust me, I do hope that I’m wrong on this end, because my wife has always lived for the Survivor family episodes.

So there we have it. Countdown to Heroes vs. Villains, people, because I don’t think this one is getting a ton better. All the best!

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Mark Lambrecht honestly is trying to not be so negative, but this season is making it hard. He can be reached at Mlamby1965@yahoo.com.

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