Survivor: Samoa, Episode 7 Missing Intelligence Award – Shambo’s New Clothes

Thankfully, it appears as if the game may be about to kick into high gear soon. Previews for this week’s upcoming episode indicate the merge has arrived, meaning it’s time for tribal lines to break down and everyone to start scrambling for potential alliance partners in this new-look roster. This will provide plenty of opportunities for sound strategic decisions... and, yes, examples of missing intelligence.

But before we say goodbye for good to the Galu machine (whose winning streak served only to mask some very real problems lurking below the surface), and the perpetual train wreck that is Foa Foa, we have one more opportunity to examine who isn’t using their head in this game... and someone will get a Missing Intelligence Award.

Over at Foa Foa, the best candidate is previous MIA winner Jaison. Sad to say, but Jaison has been a huge disappointment this season. He looked like an ideal candidate for this game when it started: tall, athletic, likable, smart, and familiar with both rigorous competitive sports and strategic games. He almost promised to be the second coming of Survivor: Palau’s Ian — except with the hope that he wouldn’t throw away the last challenge and let, say, Russell H. win so he could gain back, say, Natalie’s respect.

Unfortunately, the only thing Jaison had in common with Palau was Ulong’s remarkable ability to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. It’s not hard to sympathize with the way the losing streak, the harsh elements, and everything else has taken a toll on Jaison — probably, many of us would react the same way. But we didn’t get the chance to compete for a million dollars on Survivor; Jaison did. Problem is, he’s failing to make the most of it.

Despite being someone who should be an asset in any challenge — one that requires brains, or one that asks for physical ability — Jaison almost got himself voted out because he’s become a quitter. He didn’t quit the game (like he threatened), but he quit the immunity challenge. Ironically, the only thing that saved him is his status as a useful idiot (a.k.a. alliance partner) for Russell, not his ability to stop the Foa Foa ship from sinking. Liz was voted out because she was the one Russell thought could cause him trouble down the road — not the smart, strategic Jaison.

When you just mentally shut down in a challenge the way Jaison did, you deserve whatever you get. Who knows? Maybe Jaison doesn’t care if he gets booted out. He’s almost suggested as much over the last few weeks. But just flat-out giving up with immunity on the line isn’t a good way to convince others to vote for you — either in the immediate future, or down the road, should you be fortunate enough to end up at the final Tribal Council. Your opponent can point to the time you failed to compete, and how you were only saved because of your alliance, and you’ll lose the respect of an objective jury.

Ah, but this week’s MIA goes to the Galu Boys Club. The idea to bring Shambo into their alliance isn’t bad — actually, it’s exactly the right idea. As loyal RealityNewsOnline readers know, a five-person alliance is what you need to get you to the end, and no one’s better as a “stay loyal until you’re ready to throw her away” partner than Shambo. Better yet, take her in front of the jury at the end — you’ll stand a good chance of beating the Chicken Lady of Samoa.

Choosing her as tribal leader, however... eh, not so bright. It has nothing to do with her actual leadership skills (which may or may not be just fine, I don’t know), and everything to do with the fact that the guys have no intention of her actually being the leader of Galu.

We’ll call the guys the Galu Cabal — a shadow regime seeking to install a puppet leader to do their bidding. They’re like a bunch of special interest groups who pick a candidate they think they can manipulate, then do everything in their power to cheat the person into office. That can describe any number of politicians over the years depending on your viewpoint, and I don’t like to take sides politically, so I’ll refrain from being specific. Let’s just say, Shambo wouldn’t be the first.

The Galu Cabal was sloppy in how they got Shambo “elected” as tribal leader. The ladies aren’t stupid. Monica could tell something was fishy with the rushed vote (and I’m sure the others could too). In conducting the election process this way, the guys tipped their hand way too early. Now as we enter the merge, the girls should realize they need to make friends with Foa Foa, and fast — ironic, considering it was Shambo who seemed most likely to cozy up to Russell H. & company earlier in the season.

But let’s say we weren’t merging now. Let’s say Shambo’s reign had lasted a few weeks longer. How did the Galu Cabal think this was going to work out? In a blatant display of their desire to be the power behind the throne, we’ve already seen Dave bark at Shambo for choosing the “wrong” person to make decisions in the memory-based reward challenge. Shambo hasn’t been queen for a day yet, and already she’s being second-guessed by her court of grey eminence-types.

Shambo did what Dave wanted — she acquiesced, albeit not without betraying the fact that she felt a bit bullied, evident in her voice. How long before that gets really old, though? How long before Shambo catches on that she isn’t really the one calling the shots around Galu? If the tribe were to last a few weeks longer, you have to figure the guys would have shot themselves in the foot by doing this. Quite frankly, a merge that takes power out of Shambo’s hands (most likely) is their best friend right now.

But maybe Shambo doesn’t catch on. Maybe the abuse of the Galu Cabal doesn’t shake Shambo from thinking that she’s the one in charge. You don’t think the other women would be more than happy to point out what’s going on, since the guys are making it so obvious?

Remember the story of the emperor’s new clothes? The ruler was oblivious to the fact that he’s stark naked, as everyone else is telling him he’s wearing fabric that’s so beautiful that common folk can’t see it. Only a small child, someone with nothing to lose (or just doesn’t know any better), points out that the emperor isn’t actually wearing anything at all.

The Galu Cabal wants Shambo to feel so important and so flattered to be leader that she’ll believe anything they tell her... and do whatever they want. In a five-against-three alliance, that means Kelly, Laura, and Monica are in trouble, and thus have nothing to lose. They’d see what’s going on, tell Shambo she’s not wearing the kind of leadership hat she thinks she is, and numbers could swing four against four.

There are a number of different ways this could happen, but however it goes, it seems destined that the Galu Cabal’s decision to make Shambo a tribal figurehead will bite them on the backside. Since we’re entering a merge, the ladies of old Galu should realize what’s happening, and have plenty of options now to do something about it. And if they don’t see what the guys are doing — if they really don’t notice that Shambo isn’t wearing any clothes, so to speak (yeah, sorry for the visual image) — then they deserve to lose.

But the Galu Cabal gets this week’s Missing Intelligence Award for being a shadowy figure behind the scenes that’s failing to be shadowy enough — it’s making a lot of noise (”No, it’s Brett!”) and drawing attention to itself. That’s why Dave, Brett, John, and Erik are worthy of an MIA. Sorry, guys. Try to keep your scheming a little bit more secret in the future — if you have a future in this game, that is.

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Chris Harris is a newspaper journalist from Somerset, Kentucky, and is still mad at Ian for throwing away his likely win. You can email him at wokosaurus@msn.com.

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