Dancing With The Stars 9, November 3: This Cut Is the Deepest

On Monday night, we had a team dance, costumes designed by the celebs, a fill-in for Lacey Schwimmer, and several different styles of dance on display. But you already knew all that, thanks to Sandy Lamparello’s fantastic recap, right? Sure you did.

Host Tom Bergeron and Samantha Harris whisk us right into Tuesday’s results show, as we get to see Team Tango’s winning group number again. They give dancing a good name! (Sorry, couldn’t resist.)

There’s lots of musical filler in this episode: Iconic rocker Rod Stewart, Colbie Caillat (sort of guitar-pop singer-songwriter type stuff), and DWTS’ very own Mark Ballas and Derek Hough in the (what else?) Ballas Hough band! Oh yeah, and a double elimination. And a dance-off. A full episode, for sure!

But first, here are the standings after last night’s action (including the team dances):

Here are some of the more interesting backstage confessional comments:

The often underachieving Michael Irvin’s score was the “top of the mountain” for him and Anna Demidova, and it feels great. Donny Osmond has the flu and the room is spinning like crazy (unless he’s just joking). Mya almost curses, but catches herself and says “heck.” I think you can say the other word on TV, can’t you? Aaron Carter is out of breath and all excited about getting his highest score. Mark Dacascos knows there’s a good chance he’ll be doing the “knockout dance.” I assume he means the dance-off.

Hey, Lacey’s back! Glad she’s feeling better. Unfortunately, she’s not in the first couple to be declared safe. That would be Kelly Osbourne and Louis van Amstel. No, Lacey and partner Mark are in the bottom three. Um … welcome back, Lacey.

Colbie Caillat is a very pretty young woman with a sound that, unfortunately, kind of blends in with a lot of other soft-edged female alternative-y pop-ish stuff (I don’t know how to describe it) these days. She’s doing a song called “Fallin’ For You.” I don’t like it as much as the other stuff by her that I’ve heard, but it does have a couple of interesting licks in it, at least. Who’s that dancing? Alec Mazo and Edyta Sliwinska? I do believe so.

Samantha Chat! Samatha calls out Tom for only noticing that Edyta was out on the dance floor. “Such a guy.” Heh. Yeah, I have the same problem, Tom. Next week there are two individual dances; does Kelly think she’ll be ready to bring it? Louis’ advice is that this is a marathon, not a sprint, and Kelly knows she has to step it up each week. Louis is going to make Kelly cry in practice, but she’s not so hot on that idea. Mark is as well-prepared for a possible dance-off as he can be. “If we should have to dance, we’re going to give it our all.” You’d better hope you have to dance … otherwise, you’re just plain out.

In regards to Lacey’s illness, Tom says there’s so much flu going around, it’s like a spray-tan petri dish in the DWTS studio. Heh.

More safe couples: Donny and Kym Johnson. Okay, just one. Michael and Anna are in the bottom three, though. We do know that much.

Now it’s time for the Ballas Hough Band! I can’t tell what the song is called, but man, it sounds good. Sort of a techno-ish edge to the pop tune … it’s a dance track, really. We should have known. The two guys look like the missing members of *NSync or something. Very boy band-y. It’s kind of catchy, but I like dance music, so it’s definitely not everyone’s cup of tea. I say, good job guys! I think the song is called “Move.”

Here’s a filler bit with the stars talking about how hard the competition is. Haven’t we already heard all this before? They’re posing and looking tough through a sort of yellowish filter.

Oh, wait, we have rules for winning. Kind of like RealityNewsOnline! The first rule of ballroom, says Aaron, is that you don’t talk about ballroom. No, wait, it’s that you don’t talk about the trophy. The second rule, says Mya, is that you don’t talk about the trophy. Uh huh. We get it. Third rule is trust your partner, fourth is no risk, no reward, five is leave it all on the dance floor, sixth is winning isn’t everything, it’s the only thing. Well, that was a regular cliché fest, wasn’t it?

More safe couples: Mya and Dmitry Chaplin, naturally, and Joanna and Derek. So Aaron and Karina Smirnoff are in the bottom three. Really? Wow. And after such a great Monday performance! What’s up, America?

The audience is fired up for Rod Stewart. He’s singing “It’s the Same Old Song.” I’ve never been a big fan of is, but a lot of people are, so I’m sure many of you would have enjoyed this performance. The audience is even singing along through parts … I think. Maybe not. There are dancers out on the floor, but I can’t tell who they are. They aren’t regulars, but they look kind of familiar; were they in the new pro dancer competition last season that Anna won? Sharp-eyed viewers, let me know. Anyway, Rod is a real crowd-pleaser, that’s for sure.