The Biggest Loser 8, Episode 8: Capitol Critters

We begin in the Elimination Room, shortly after Abby’s elimination last week. All the players are assembled, and Alison goes into some poorly written speech about how obesity is an epidemic in this country and it is up to the players to make a change for all Americans. Everyone has looks of confusion on their faces. For once, I don’t think that’s editing, as even I’m having trouble understanding what the hell she’s talking about.

The whole point of this little scripted diatribe is that the players will spend Week 8 in Washington, DC. The crowd is clearly psyched.

The journey starts in the most logical place, the airplane. Rudy and Liz are thrilled that they can now fit in the seats without a belt extender. Daniel turns the segment into a built-in ad for the airline itself.

After a brief montage of the major landmarks of our nation’s capitol, the players meet up with Alison at the Jefferson Memorial. She tells them their only goal this week is to help their fellow Americans lead healthier and happier lives. Yeah, something tells me that’s not the only goal. I seem to recall there’s some sort of scale involved with this show. Alison then brings out Bob and Jillian, so at least the players won’t be totally on their own.

Alison next informs the group about some of the items on their itinerary for the week. They will speak with some members of Congress, and later they will visit the White House. Bob sees this as the ultimate validation for the show.

The first item of business, however, is to somehow draw a parallel between Thomas Jefferson and the show. Since Jefferson was a staunch advocate for individual liberties, Alison decides to use this fact as a lame segue to tell the players that the team phase is over. She then unveils a table full of shirts in everyone’s original colors. The game is now everyone for themselves.

Shay gets some special attention from Alison, as she’s the only one left over 400 pounds, when there were five that started out that way. Shay, of course, takes this as motivation to kill it this week.

Finally, after a whole lot of prep time, Alison introduces this week’s Pop Challenge. In one hour, Bob and Jillian will hold a public workout at the Washington Monument. The players have the time leading up to that to recruit people for the workout. They do so by handing out stickers with their names on them. Whoever brings in the most people wins, but Alison won’t reveal the prize just yet, only that it will be some sort of advantage at the next Challenge, and a sandwich party for all the people they recruit.

I have to think this one is tailor-made for Daniel. Since he was on the show last season, he’s the only one with any degree of relevance and status to the American public. If anyone recognizes him, he’s got them. Still, this should be an easy challenge for everyone involved. How hard is it to say, “Hey, you want to be on TV?”

The clock starts and the players are off. The early returns seem favorable to Danny, who actually starts acting like a canvassing politician going door to door, as well as Amanda, who also has some degree of recognition from her appearance at last season’s finale. She’s able to recruit an entire group of tourists. On the flipside, Daniel can’t find people, and Rebecca just seems to be creeping people out.

Rudy courts a group near Amanda, and they start a chanting war. Allen, using his vocation as a weapon, recruits a local fire hall. Liz, on the on the hand, recruits a few college guys by telling them that there’ll be cute girls there. Tracey starts telling people to take off other people’s stickers.

Amanda finds Daniel to brag about her cheering group. This turns out not to be a smart move, as everyone recognizes Daniel. Seeing his progress so far, he’s actually able to convert several of Amanda and Rudy’s followers.

The crowds gather at the Washington Monument, including a whole lot of Allen’s brethren, announcing their arrival by actually showing up in fire trucks. Alison calls the contestants, and they all raise placards as if this is a political convention. Alison announces that by a single participant, the winner of the Challenge is Liz, just beating out Allen.

The trainers are brought out and the workout begins. Bob is clearly in his element working the crowd with his headset microphone. Meanwhile, Jillian goes into the masses so she can make fun of individual people. It seems to be a fun affair, including a little kid getting into it, sparring with Jillian.

Liz and her winning followers head down to the local sponsored sub shop for their part of the prize. Of course, Jillian turns it into a built-in ad. One day these people will pay me, and they’ll be so happy when they do, because not only will I mention their name, I’ll outright endorse most of them.

On what can be assumed is another day, Bob and Jillian take the contestants to Capitol Hill, where they get to talk to members of Congress about the obesity epidemic in this country. The meeting is led by Senator Kirsten Gillibrand of New York. Pennsylvania’s Bob Casey pays them some major lips service about how inspirational they are.

Daniel is the first to speak, as the subject is childhood obesity. He shows the Senators his pants from his senior year of high school, size 54. He can now fit entirely into one leg. Daniel also theorizes that his weight contributed to poor marks at school, as he was a fairly decent student, but as he got bigger, he slipped from a B average to actually failing some classes. And then of course there’s the issue of self-esteem. He suggests better health education in school, as he only had to take one credit of health in high school, and only one semester of gym. Senator Gillibrand really latches onto that idea.