Top Chef: Las Vegas, Episode 11: Casino Royale With Cheese

Previously on Top Chef – the Vegas competition, not the All-Star Dinner – Natalie Portman’s meatless meal sent Mike I. to the reality show slaughterhouse. Who is well-done this time, and who needs to be sent back? Let’s find out.

Morning montage: Bryan misses his wife and son, who is 22-months-old and growing up a little more each day – while Bryan is away. He hopes that he can make it to the end of the show to provide a little security for his family. Jennifer thinks she needs to stop worrying about everyone else and just worry about herself. I think she needs to stop worrying, period.

The chefs arrive at The Venetian hotel – love the canals! I’m a sucker for faux globe-tripping (like Epcot) – and find themselves waiting in a kitchen for today’s surprise. They get a phone call from Padma – kind of like the Trump Phone – and she’s in bed. Nice words to type, I gotta say.

I see – it’s a challenge about making room service. Room service for Padma and a friend – cookbook author and food personality, Nigella Lawson. The lovely Nigella is in bed with Padma I see Top Chef is trying to give its straight male audience a heart attack. Eli’s interesting description of Nigella – She’s a modern, “less French” version of Julia Child. Gordon Ramsay named a turkey after her. She’s legit.” Well, if Gordon Ramsay names a turkey after you, obviously you’re legit.

Oh wait, Padma and Nigella are in two different beds. Aww. Anyway, they’re getting breakfast in bed catered by our cheftestants, who have only 30 minutes to make it. The kitchen is a bit smaller than what they’re used to, so that raises the degree of difficulty as well. Robin is tripping over herself trying to get three things done at once. I know the feeling. She wanted to make two blintzes per plate, but they’ll only be getting one. Oh, one more thing – they’re cooking in pairs. BFFs Eli and Robin are the first group.

Michael and Kevin are next, and Michael finds the kitchen a mess. (Robin’s fault, apparently.) He spends so much time cleaning that he’s running out of time to cook. Meanwhile, Robin is rolling her room service cart through the halls of The Venetian – which are pretty long and maze-like – and she calls it a “trek.”

Finally, Robin arrives and serves the two most beautiful women in food (Okay, Giada De Laurentiis is in there too) their first breakfast of the morning. Robin admits to some stage fright in front of Nigella. I don’t know why, with all the famous people they cook for every episode. Robin’s blintz has goat cheese, caramelized pineapple, and blueberries.

Eli’s up now. He says he doesn’t eat breakfast much, ’cause he’s usually not up at that hour. My sentiments exactly. My breakfast is usually served at dinner. He’s made a fried egg Reuben Benedict with Thousand Island hollandaise sauce. In that thick, smoky British accent (sigh!), Nigella observes that this would be a great hangover breakfast.

Kevin is doing steak and eggs just because it’s a hearty breakfast that he likes. Hmm, I thought Michael and Kevin were together, but Jen is in the kitchen now, too. Michael – there he is – is doing a Cuban-style breakfast, but nothing is working for him the way he wants it to work.

Robin comes back into the kitchen to get her stuff, and let’s face it, gets in Michael’s way while he’s frustrated and in a hurry. He’s a bit snippy and after saying “excuse me” repeatedly, tells her he’d rather she was just gone right now. Robin does not take this well. She says she doesn’t like being treated that way. Frankly, I think that’s how he would have treated anyone who was in his way at that moment – it’s not personal, Robin. That’s how I take it, anyway. But Robin swears and storms out of the kitchen in a snit.

Michael comes up to the room and serves his Huevos Cubana over crispy rice with banana puree, bacon, and an arugula salad. Nigella notes that you can have breakfast at any time of the day (Yup). Michael quietly agrees, then states that it depends on how much you’ve had to drink that night. Heh. Michael thinks they’re enjoying his food, which is hilarious because of the chaos he was experiencing in the kitchen.

Kevin is next, with steak and eggs served with creme freche, aged cheddar dusted in coffee, and green onion. Nigella thinks it’s all nice and warm.

Jennifer's in the kitchen now. She notes that she makes room service in her hotel, and her room service is good. (The hotel is beautiful too.) She's making creamed chipped beef, something commonly served in the army that looks "like $#!% on a shingle,"

as Jen so delicately puts it. Bryan is with her in the kitchen.

Jen sets her plate in front of Nigella, and senses that Nigella is not impressed with what she’s looking at. Jennifer says it’s something she grew up eating and repeats the “shingle” line, this time shortening it to “S.O.S.” Heh. It’s basically creamed chipped beef with toast, potatoes, and tomatoes. Keeping it simple this time, huh Jen? Nigella seems more impressed once she tastes it.

Bryan serves a four-minute egg with vanilla beurre fondue, king crab, asparagus spears (Britney’s long-lost sister – rimshot, please), and corn polenta. Nigella is turned off by the vanilla; the dish would have been “a complete star” without it.