Dancing With the Stars 9, November 17: You Should Be Dancing

Our hosts are Tom Bergeron and Samantha Harris. Our semi-finalists are Donny Osmond & Kym Johnson, Mya & Dmitry Chaplin, Kelly Osbourne & Louis Van Amstel, and Joanna Krupa & Derek Hough. Our musical guests are R&B singer Alicia Keys, pop diva Leona Lewis, and disco-era legends Barry and Robin Gibb. Our Monday recap was by Sandy Lamparello. Our show? Dancing With the Stars.

This is how the leaderboard looks after Monday’s show:

We get to see Mya & Dmitry’s salsa again, and we’re reminded why it earned her a perfect score. All I can say is … actually, I can’t say anything because my jaw’s on the floor. Drool. Also, I really like this version of “La Isla Bonita” better than Madonna’s, and I didn’t think I’d ever say that.

Some of the more interesting backstage/confessional comments that we see in the show’s Monday recap include:

* Kelly, cracking up that she just totally improvised her rumba solo, and Louis in disbelief about it; she also declares that she’s just going to have a good time and not worry about things like whether or not her boob is going to pop out (though that would make for great TV, I have to say);

* Joanna thinks her comments from the judges regarding her salsa were the best all season and will treasure them forever;

* Kym thinks her dress got unraveled and part of it caused Donny to mess up his footwork in his tango – we can see how the fabric got wrapped up around the dancers’ feet and kind of tripped them up a bit. Donny is embarrassed and mad at himself, while Kym is hanging her head;

* Mya feigns indignant modesty about Len Goodman referring to her “booty” while her mom is in the audience (heh).

Now it’s time to learn who is safe … and moving into the finals.

Okay, no it’s not. Tom has pulled one of his classic fake-outs. Grrr.

Instead we have a filler bit where the competitors talk about each other. Donny looks at Mya and Dmitry and sometimes wonders which one is the pro (well, in a way, Mya always has been a professional dancer … as part of her musical act). Mya likes Joanna’s graceful lines. Joanna calls Donny “the ultimate performer,” while Mya says his only struggle is “wardrobe malfunction” (I assume she’s referring to Monday’s tango); Mya says Kelly’s transformation is amazing. Kelly says her biggest obstacle to winning is herself. Joanna says making it this far as exceeded the expectations she had coming in. Yada yada yada.

Samantha Chat with all four celebrities! They’re all thrilled to be here at the stage of this game. Mya says she also had some wardrobe malfunctions. Donny admits he had no choice but to try and come back strong after faltering. He says his biggest struggle this season is to be surrounded by so much estrogen. Heh.

You know, it’s odd to have a DWTS finale with no athletes … usually they do very well on this show. If it’s Mya, Donny, and Kelly, it will be an all vocalist finals. Weird.

Now we get to see a choreographed musical number called “Be Italian” from the upcoming film Nine. I’m totally unfamiliar with all this, but according to Wikipedia, it’s based on a musical that is itself based on the Fellini classic film 8 ½, which I am familiar with as a film school alum. Shows how much I know about Broadway though! It looks like a lot of fun, based on this performance with a bunch of beautiful female dancers, who are joined eventually by one pointy-faced guy in black. Tambourines are used as part of the dance. Tambourines make everything more fun, don’t they? The guy is kind of being pulled every which way by the women, and it’s al very sexy and passionate.

As we’re thrown to a commercial break … oh hey, it’s an ad for Nine! Who didn’t see that coming a mile away?

Alicia Keys, who almost gets my heart racing as much as Mya, is here to sing “Try Sleeping With a Broken Heart.” Eh, you get used to it after a while. As far as I’m concerned, Alicia never disappoints, and this is a a great example of her always-evident vulnerability set to a hard, driving beat – gotta love any lady who knows her way around a piano – but as always, your mileage may vary.

More filler about the pressure the stars are under … where they are all (pretending to be) singing Queen and David Bowie’s “Under Pressure.” It’s a nice-looking little music video that kind of reminds me of the car ads with all the contestants on American Idol. Gotta love the musical stylings of The Sovereign (Venture Brothers joke; if you don’t get it, don’t worry about it).

Okay, now time for some real results! Mya and Dmitry are finals-bound! No big shocker, but they leap around in surprise and excitement.

Joanna and Derek … will learn their fate later. Hmm. Why bother saying that for just them? Interesting.

Leona Lewis is reality show royalty, having won the British vocal competition The X Factor on her rise to fame. Now she’s here to sing “Happy” from her new album, Echo. She’s already one of this post-Whitney era’s standout female vocal talents, and this song continues to reinforce that. Not too hard on the eyes either, though I’m not so sure about that white dress that’s kind of a mess on the sides … it looks like something Christopher from Project Runway would design. That’s not a good thing. (Speaking of Whitney – Miss Houston if you’re nasty – she’ll be performing on the DWTS finale next week).