Kitchen Nightmares, Season 3, Episode 3: Bazzini

Welcome to Kitchen Nightmares. This is the show where professional chef and entertainer Gordon Ramsay drops in on various failing restaurants across the United States and shows them how to shape up and fix all their problems. He often leaves them with a high class menu, better cooks, and hopefully a new legacy of success.

Tonight we start off in Ridgewood, New Jersey, at a restaurant called Bazzini. It is named after the owner and head chef Paul Bazzini. Several years ago he quit his executive chef’s job in New York to open his own restaurant. Leslie, his wife, says that he is a highly decorated chef and figured that it should be a snap to run his own place.

Unfortunately, owning a restaurant is a completely different kettle of fish than just being the head chef. You need to pay bills, hire and fire people, fix the roof, buy the food, create advertising, and so on. Paul is finding that his passion for the restaurant is dropping like a rock. He wakes up in the morning and has no idea what he should be doing that day.

This constant frustration is adversely affecting his performance in the kitchen. He is sending out meals that are less than perfect and he snaps at anyone that tries to tell him that he should be doing things differently. His staff often yells back at him and every night turns into a shouting match.

Sharyn the pastry chef and Alex the head waiter agree that the situation is unbearable and Paul is not giving diners a fine-dining experience. Who can possibly help Paul get his passion back?

Yes, that’s right. It is our knight in gleaming apron, Chef Gordon Ramsay. He strolls into town and notes that there are over 60 good restaurants in this tiny town. He’s sampled a few of them and can’t wait to try Bazzini and see how it matches up.

He hits the front door and finds that it is locked. It seems that the restaurant only serves dinner and is open from 5:30 to 9:00 in the evening each day. Ramsay is stunned that they aren’t open for lunch and leaves his calling card.

At about 1:30, Paul arrives, finds the card, and calls Ramsay to come over. Ramsay greets Paul and comes inside. Ramsay is not impressed by the tiny restaurant and compares it to a doll house. Since no one else is there, he tells Paul not to bother with a menu and to just go into the kitchen and cook him something.

While waiting, Ramsay explores the décor and finds grimy and dirty seating, squeaky chairs, and mystery stairs that lead to random parts of the building. Paul returns after a while with a meal. He hopes to blow Ramsay away with the food.

But we know better than that. Ramsay has never initially liked the food of any chef in three seasons of Kitchen Nightmares. You’d think that anyone who has watched an episode would know that by now.

Sure enough, Ramsay is not pleased. The fettuccini is cold and bland. The chicken is hard and crunchy. The food is returned and Alex explains what Chef Ramsay didn’t like about it. Paul calls that bullspit and declares that he is ready to quit and go home.

Yow! He really doesn’t take criticism well, does he?

The next course arrives and it is mushroom risotto. Anyone who watches Hell’s Kitchen knows that Ramsay is a stickler for perfect risotto. Ramsay’s initial impression is that it is too thick and gluey. He demonstrates this by spinning the plate around and showing that the rice doesn’t move an inch. Next!

The next dish is almond crusted tilapia. It is bland and mushy. He sends it back and orders some dessert. Alex brings out some carrot cake and cheesecake.

Ramsay loves them. They are delicious and he seeks out the pastry chef, Sharyn, to compliment her. He says that he can tell that she cooks with passion. He even asks for the recipe and she says that everything comes with a price and winks at him. Ramsay smiles and says that that’s the way to cook. Sharyn is thrilled and floating on air.

Ramsay goes back to give Paul the report card. The dessert, of course, was wonderful. The rest of the meal, however, was disgusting. It was bland and mushy. Paul responds and says that most of his clients are older folks who really don’t like spicy food. Ramsay tells Paul that he will be back for dinner and hopes things improve a lot.

Time goes by and dinner service begins. Paul starts off by saying that he’s cooked food for some of the world’s best chefs and he is not intimidated by Chef Ramsay. Sharyn is also not intimidated by Chef Ramsay and flirts shamelessly with him. She confides to the cameras that he’s got a really nice butt!

The first problem Ramsay notices is that the crab cakes are not fresh. They are made a day or two ahead of time, pre-seared, and put in a bucket to be reheated as they are ordered. Ramsay is not pleased with that and insists that it really doesn’t save time since they take just as much time to warm up as they would to cook them to order.

After some crab cakes are returned, Paul actually admits that he’s been doing it wrong and says that this is not a reflection on his normal work.

The next problem is that the food is not being coordinated as it is prepared. So the main course can sit for up to eleven minutes before the side dishes are ready. This ends up slowing everything down and no one is getting anything to eat except bread.

And when the food is served it is cold. Well, that happens when food sits for eleven minutes. Paul says that the customers are not being compassionate when they demand food on time.