Surviving Redemption Island, Episode 4: “I Faked Ya!”

Last week, the unthinkable (at least for Russell) happened – Russell was voted out! He and loyal slave girl Stephanie thought they had Julie’s vote in the bag, but Julie was a better actress than they (or I) gave her credit for – and I suspect we’ll hear all about it from her point of view in a little while. I also suspect Stephanie will go on a rampage when the tribe gets back to camp, in order to live up to her “Storm’s a coming” threat at the end of Tribal Council. You know what? She can storm all she wants – they’re going to vote her off the next time they lose immunity. And then she’ll have to face off against Russell if he’s still at Redemption Island! That will be interesting.

But that’s also jumping ahead. First we have to see how Russell deals with Redemption Island when he gets there and finds out that his tribemates lied to them (in one of the dumbest falsehoods ever on Survivor) about who won the previous Redemption Island duel. He arrives to find Matt sleeping. Matt tells us he figured he’d see Russell there “sooner or later” (I guess he’s planning on sticking around for a while!) but is surprised that it happened so quickly.

Russell tells Matt about the lie regarding who won the previous duel and then explains how they threw the challenge to get rid of him. He tells us he wants “to bitchslap every single one of ‘em” because he’s so pissed. While Russell would rather have faced Francesca, it doesn’t matter to him – “he’s a rookie,” so he’ll be nervous battling against Russell.

Matt tells Russell he was one of his favorite players to watch. “Blindsided by Rob, bunking with Russell.” Heh. Russell tells us he is going to win every duel and pick off the other players one by one. He’s going to make ‘em suffer.

We jump over to Ometepe on Day 9, where the contestants are sleeping. Well, almost all of them are sleeping – Phillip apparently misheard a consonant and is sweeping, and doing so rather noisily, thus waking the others. Natalie tells us, “He’s so annoying and he’s so weird.”

Also annoying is his choice of attire, as Phillip is bent over facing away from those in the shelter. Rob tells Grant he could go 39 days without seeing that. Heh. Rob continues, telling us, “Phillip is a piece of work. Who comes onto Survivor wearing pink tighty-whities?” Would that be tighty-pinkies? He continues that Phillip is “hanging out, just flopping around everywhere” – cut to vomit-like faces of a couple of the young ladies. “It’s disturbing… it’s actually disgusting.”

Speaking of disturbing, Phillip is on the hunt again, throwing the spear at too-fast crabs. He tells us the youngsters don’t understand him and don’t know if he’s a criminal or a school-teacher. So he’s a little frustrated. But at least he’s put on some swimming trunks, which means we all don’t have to avert our eyes.

Phillip knows this is a social game and he’s at a “huge disadvantage.” He needs another side of him to emerge. He’s prepared to do whatever he needs to do in order to win a million dollars.

Over at Zapatera, Russell’s ladies (Stephanie and Krista) are lying out on the beach by themselves. Stephanie tells us how they aren’t having any fun. I’m just surprised she didn’t immediately go off on them when they got back from camp!

Stephanie assures Krista that Russell will “kill it” in the challenges – they’re both hopeful, which brings me back to the point I raised earlier (and, for that matter, last week) that they will likely have to face off against him if he does indeed “kill it”! They don’t seem to be thinking it through very well.

Krista does seem to understand it though, at least in a different context, as she tells us one of them is going home unless they find the immunity idol. Yeah, good luck with that.

Ralph decides now – with the two ladies being gone – is a good time to tell the others that he has the idol and they therefore have nothing to worry about in that regard. They high-five and jump around excitedly. Ralph thinks they will now stay loyal to him and keep him in the game. Mike tells us he wouldn’t be surprised to see Russell back in the game, so the idol helps as some insurance against that.

The following day, at Ometepe, Phillip picks up treemail and pretends the rolled-up paper is a telescope. Oookay. He gives his tribe a dramatic reading, which basically tells them they can choose two people to go watch the duel at Redemption Island. This time, there are no specifics about how to pick – it’s up to them to decide. Phillip and Kristina volunteer and nobody objects. Phillip tells us he wants to go because of his former profession as a federal agent (wow, I didn’t know about that!) – he’s looking for some intel to help him win.

At Zapatera, Ralph and Sarita are headed over, with both of them excited at the possibility of seeing Russell leave the game permanently.

Russell tells us this will be a battle of good vs. evil. He likes Matt and if this were the real world, he’d be rooting for Matt. “But it’s not. This is Survivor.” Matt tells us Russell is the biggest Survivor villain ever, but Matt is fighting to honor his God. Huh? I didn’t know that was part of the duel. I must have missed that. In any case, he thinks he’ll come out on top.