RNO Roundtable: ‘Survivor: South Pacific’ Pre-Show Predictions

Albert

William: Right off the bat we have a bona fide contender. While I think the idea of being a “dating” coach is rather lame (though I’m sure I could probably benefit from one), Albert doesn’t seem full of himself and has a good head on his shoulders. He will obviously be looked at as a physical threat late in the game, but as he points out in his interview, he is singularly focused on social dynamics and strategy. The hardest points for him will be the surviving the last couple of votes before and after the merge point, then making the end once we get down to the final five or six. I think he’s got a decent chance here. His strategic mind can get him into the right alliances at the right time, and his physicality can save him when the tables turn.

Ken: He claims to have little patience for ignorance, and I can see him getting into it with someone on day one. He’d better have the right alliance or he’ll be gone before he knows what hit him, and even then I have a hard time seeing him lasting much past the merge.

Chris: A baseball/dating coach: WTF? And how often does this guy get “tell me what the three bases are again” jokes, anyway? He bores me, and I don’t think he’ll be a big strategic threat, despite the suggestion that a “dating coach” would know how to win over people. He’ll probably do well in challenges, due to his physique, so he could make the merge.

Jenn: Albert will be on the jury.

Jeffrey: Albert seems like he'll be a mix of challenge threat and showmance candidates. Those are both great qualities to look for in somebody who is going to go far but not win. He probably won't get to the finals either. He's getting jury duty.

Sting7: It makes me nervous when contestants seem so happy to be themselves. Albert can’t seem to stop talking about his attributes. Among them, his admiration of J.T. is a good thing. His impatience with ignorance (one I share) is not. His reported athletic prowess will be golden, as Ozzy and Coach value this.

David: First, I have to admit that I share in Albert’s pet peeve, “I have little to no patience for ignorance. People who are uninformed about something, yet insist to be opinionated about it, really irritate me.” However, when you go on Survivor, you have to be able to put such peeves aside. If he’s faced with somebody the likes of Coach, well, good luck in controlling that! But on a more serious note, Albert is correct in noting that his athleticism will certainly make him a challenge threat. If he is any good at being a dating coach, that means he has social skills as well. Can he really pull it all together? My head says “yes” but my gut says “no.” I’m afraid that he will see himself as a perfect contestant and his head might swell just a bit. He did note that he likes the way J.T. led by example rather than by pushing people, so maybe he’s already got this under control. But I just don’t think he will make it all the way to the end.

Brandon

William: Much has been made of Brandon Hantz, due to the notoriety (and notoriousness) of his uncle. Quite frankly, though, I’m unimpressed. He seems to be fairly self-aware, and wants to prove that the Hantz family are not all villains (which I guess explains the Jesus overkill in his bio), but at the same time, everything could backfire against this kid. He wants to restore honor to the family name, yet he has it tattooed on his arm. Anyone who knows of Russell (and I’m sure even the recruits will be shown Russell’s seasons so that they’re aware) will see that tattoo and associate Brandon with his uncle, and it will take an astonishing amount of, as fellow writers Christian and Shane call it, diplomatic capital, to break through that. His best hope will be to cling to Coach, since they’re on the same tribe. If he can convince Coach that he wants to restore his family’s honor and atone for his uncle’s alleged misdeeds (remember that Russell backstabbed Coach in Heroes vs. Villains), he might be able to get into a good alliance that will carry him at least to the jury point. At least on the surface, he’s not nearly as dynamic as Russell, but I’ll reserve full judgment until the game begins.

Ken: He may be the first relative of a past player to make the cast, but I don’t expect him to be anything like his (in)famous uncle. And that’s a smart move. Unfortunately, he comes across as the type of player his uncle would chew up and spit out when the time comes, much like Boston Rob did with Grant last season. And when all is said and done, the show will still not have a winner named Hantz.

Chris: You’ll likely hear this a lot in this roundtable exercise, but the key for Brandon is simple: Hide that you’re a Hantz, you can do well (he reminds me a little of J.T.). Let people know you’re a Hantz, you’re dead. And if he’s really got his last name tattooed on his body, like Jeff Probst says … buh-bye Brandon. Which is a shame, because if it weren’t for those tattoos, I think he could go a long way. But at some point, he’s going to have to take off his shirt, right?

Jenn: Brandon will fall just short of the finals, getting a seat on the jury panel.

Jeffrey: Brandon has two things going against him – his last name and his youth. I don't generally look for the youngest players in the game to win even though his reported role models all went far. Most schemers do well because they have their own bag of tricks, not recycled ones from villains past. I think he'll get the boot pre-jury.

Sting7: Being the nephew of Russell Hantz is quite a pedigree. Unfortunately, Brandon is going to spend most of his time overcoming that pedigree. Brandon says being a Hantz doesn’t have to mean being mean. On paper, he sounds like the second coming of Russell! Brandon is going to have to have an actual halo to escape Russell’s pernicious shadow! But outdoorsy southern types (Colby, JT), and the skills they bring, always seem to do well.

David: I agree with most of my fellow writers here – Brandon has a hell of a task ahead of him. My original thought was, as others have said, that he should never mention his uncle. The tattoo, however, changes everything. Then again, his whole bio doesn’t make sense. He says he wants to show he’s not like his uncle… then says the contestants he’s most like include his uncle and Jonny-freaking-Fairplay! (Oddly, he also includes Colby, who doesn’t at all fit with the others!) So, Brandon, are you like your uncle or not? Actually, I don’t think he is – I don’t think he’s likely to be nearly as smart or strategic. He’s going to try to play nice while the others play for a million dollars. He’s out before the merge.

Christine

William: Anyone who lists Emilio Zapata as a personal inspiration will at least get my attention, but beyond that, there’s not much to Christine. She comes off as a wonderful person, and anyone with the infinite patience to teach special needs children has my respect (because as I’ve discovered over the course of my life, I don’t have such patience). Still, there doesn’t seem to be anything to her game. She’s there for the thrill and for the spirit of the competition, but when asked how she’ll win, she merely states, “I know I’m going to win.” A positive outlook with no plan does not a winner make. Depending on her ability in challenges and her utility at camp, she might be around for a while, but I don’t expect anything spectacular.

Ken: She lists one of her pet peeves as people who don’t remove the price sticker off the bottom of their shoes. If that’s all it takes to rile her, she may not be long for this game. Plus, she sees herself as a born leader. That could put a target on her back, and fast. I’ll be surprised if she sticks around past the first few episodes.

Chris: Being 39 does not make you old in real life, but it does in Survivor, especially if you’re a woman. I’d be tempted to say she’s in trouble, but making the right alliance is key – a number of older women have done well over the years by following this advice (from Sue in Season 1 to Jane, Holly, and even last season’s Julie to a certain extent in recent years). She does seem to value being outspoken and stubborn, so these traits won’t help her social game. Probst seems to like her though, so maybe she’s more able than I can tell.