RNO Roundtable: ‘Survivor: South Pacific’ Pre-Show Predictions

Mikayla

William: Every season there’s at least one girl who makes it deep into the game despite having absolutely no acumen. Last season it was Natalie (who got even further than the high jury spot I predicted for her), and this season it will be Mikayla. She gets credit for being a fan of the show and knowing the importance of alliances. She also gets major props for taking a giant dump on the idiots from Jersey Shore, but her kudos end there. She’s a typical model, having posed for Playboy, and currently plays in the laughable Lingerie Football League. She loses even more points for trying to claim that it’s just as physically tough as men’s football. Sorry, the NFL doesn’t play in Speedos, you lose. She seems very full of herself, and part of her comes off as kind of creepy. I think it’s because she has the weird Shannen Doherty offset eyes. Anyway, we’ll definitely be seeing more of her than we want to, because she’s physically fit enough to be competent in challenges, and she’ll get into the majority alliance on her tribe quickly. It’ll probably all fall apart after the merge, but I have no reason to believe we’ll be mercifully rid of her early on.

Ken: ”Playing sports all my life, I feel I am a competitor at heart. I am very athletic and am very likeable. I plan to use these qualities to get me to the end.” That’s a direct quote from her profile. If she really believes all that, she may well be the most delusional player of the season. You’d think she’d never seen an episode, but she claims to have watched the show since she was 10. I’m not sure what I find more amusing: People who go on the show and have watched it little or not at all, or those who claim to have watched it a long time, sometimes from the beginning of the series, yet seem to have no clue what it takes to win. She will probably also have no clue why she’s out so early.

Chris: I want to like Mikayla. Hey, she’s a lingerie football player and a Playboy model. What guy wouldn’t like that? Then she goes and says Jane is her favorite former contestant, and my feelings sour. Probst compares her to a female Boston Rob. I see her as being more of a Stephenie LaGrossa type. Her athleticism will serve her well and get her to the merge. After that, all bets are off, but I think she’s got a good shot to go deep ... something she’s used to doing in skimpy clothing.

Jenn: Mikayla will make the jury, but no farther.

Jeffrey: I get a good feeling from reading about Mikayla. She's young but not too young, has showmance potential, and I think she can hold her own in challenges. All that adds up to a threat that can sail through the game as a partner in an alliance and on her own. She may even make it to the end.

Sting7: So! Mikayla is a former Playboy covergirl and is currently a lingerie football player. But… at no point did she say she is going to use her “feminine wiles” like soooo many pretty players before her have done! This gives me tremendous confidence. Her social game must be keen: girl among girls with the women, female “dude” with the guys. If she can achieve that and be reasonably athletic, Mikayla could be a serious contender!

David: I have mixed feelings about Mikayla. On the one hand, as others have noted, she says she’s been watching the show since she was 10. But on the other hand, she noted that it was her mother’s favorite show and her mother said she should go on if she ever got the chance. That speaks volumes to me – in a negative way. Also, Mikayala is already been giving away signed copies of her Playboy pictures as part of a Twitter/Facebook contest. It seems like she didn’t come to win, but to promote herself, and I think she’s doing it because she doesn’t get very far in the game.

Rick

William: Rick and Dawn are peas in a pod. They’re both from Utah. They’re both super fans of the show who’ve applied multiple times (in a rather sad testimony on the way this show has devolved, Rick has applied 14 times, but had only been interviewed three times before being selected). And unfortunately, they’re both likely to suffer a similar fate due to their ages. I give Rick a bit better odds than Dawn, as he’s on the same tribe as Coach, so his work ethic and sense of honor and loyalty will hold more sway. He also claims to be an older version of J.T. from Tocantins, so that might help ingratiate him to Coach’s side, as Coach had a lot of respect and admiration for his country boy counterpart. At this point, I’d say that Rick is on the bubble for the jury, but I’ll have to crunch my numbers before I can be sure of his position.

Ken: Rick seems like a hard-working, likable guy. Well, that and a buck will get you a cup of coffee in this game. Whereas Mikayla cited athletic skills and likeability, Rick goes with outdoor skills and work ethic. While that’s well and good, it won’t be enough to win a game like this, and unless Rick has a devious side, he may find himself on the jury, at best.

Chris: Like Mark, Rick’s age (51) could work against him, particularly if his folksy personality rubs some the wrong way. I say he’s in for the same fate I predicted for John: Fortunate if he’s with Ozzy, not-so-good if it’s Coach. Though Coach will probably call him a “noble warrior” or some crap like that. After the guy applied 14 times to be on the show, I can’t help but root for him a little bit.

Jenn: We’ll be seeing Rick on the jury.

Jeffrey: Rick should be useful to his tribe and, despite his age, should be able to hold his own in challenges. However, with 18 players, somebody eventually has to go, and I think one of the ones who will miss jury duty is Rick. Rick may go early or just miss the jury, but his age works against him the longer he needs to play a social game.

Sting7: There’s all kinds of things to like about Rick! Rough-hewn, country strong, like Brandon, has those rural skills that work so well in the Survivor environs. I also like that he’s applied 14 times! He has perseverance. Just like Mark, if he can avoid being a leader (I sense he will struggle with that) and a liability in challenges, Rick has strong stuff!

David: Rick has applied 14 times, yet he still seems to think Survivor is about camping and working hard and starting fires. There is, of course, that element to it, but it’s not what the game is about. Because of his apparent lack of understanding there, I suspect Rick will become a useful tool of somebody else, but then be voted out early in the jury phase.

Semhar

William: Loading her name into Google Translate, it appears that “Semhar” is the Tigrinya word for “dandruff.” That makes sense, because this chick is a huge FLAKE! Seriously, did we learn nothing from “NaOnka”? Are we required to have at least one unpronounceable name per season? But yeah, where to begin with this one? She’s a spoken word artist? Is that a real thing? Sorry, the only time I care about “spoken words” is when Jeff Probst says, “The tribe has spoken,” and snuffs someone’s torch. Something tells me this one will be hearing those words a lot quicker than the others. I wonder if she’ll think the words are “art” then. Apart from that, she’s your typical pageant girl (the antithesis of Elyse), winning Miss Eritrea on a whim, and of all the people in this cast, she’s the only diva who actually required a chair for her pregame interview. Everyone else either sits on a rock or a log. Semhar sits on a plastic deck chair in the sand. She is way out of her element, and the only thing that will save her is the fact that Dawn’s on her tribe, so they’ll have an easier target for the first vote.