Surviving the South Pacific, Episode 2: “I’m the Biggest Fool in This Game”

Coach looks physically stunned as he tells us about the sinking feeling he immediately had – because Russell had told him that “as a man of God” they were going to play the game together and then voted him off. So Coach tells Brandon flat-out, “I don’t wanna be played a fool twice.” Brandon says the only reason he told Coach about it is because they have an alliance. If it comes back to bite him, he still feels good about it.

Coach tells us that Brandon had nothing to gain by revealing this information to him, so he believes Brandon is true to his word and will indeed play the way a “man of God” would play. And then they pray together “in Jesus’s name.” Coach tells us it will either end up with Coach duped again or as redemption for the Hantz family.

Back at Savaii, Elyse is hungry. Jim says they’ll catch some fish, but Elyse figures the little fish swimming right near them in the shallow water are taunting her. She wants to channel her “inner Native-American self.” Okay then.

Jim, Ozzy, and Keith head out on their canoe to go fishing. Jim knows it’s not the three of them together by chance. He calls himself “a World Poker Tour champion” and says he’s already thinking a few moves ahead. As I’ve noted before, he technically did win a tournament sponsored by the World Poker Tour, but it was a preliminary event, not the main tournament, so I think he’s overstating his prowess just a bit here.

Anyway, the fishing trip gives Jim the chance to put into play his “three plus two plan,” which he explains is three guys as the core until the end, along with Elyse and Whitney as side allies. Hmm, that doesn’t sound too good for Cochran!

Keith tells us that Jim brought up the idea without knowing that Keith and Ozzy had already planned to talk to Jim! Keith figures that’s good because it gives Jim the impression of being in control. Indeed, Jim tells us he’s the “orchestrator” of the plan and feels that they know who will go home next – Cochran, Dawn, and Papa Bear, each for their own idiosyncrasies because they just don’t fit in. He admits he’s always been the one who didn’t fit in, so he knows how it feels. He’s “at the cool kids’ table” here, but only barely. So he’s done as good of a job as he can do. My question: If you feel you’re an outcast yourself, why not align with the other outcasts and vote out the cool kids?

It’s the next day and we’re at Upolu. Brandon is handing out coconut and then several of them decide to do some fishing. Mikayla tells us how she bartends and plays in a professional women’s football league at home. She figures she’s pretty tomboy and is willing to do the hard work along with the guys. She doesn’t think she’s seen as a “girly-girl,” which will help her in the game.

She and Brandon take the net to fish, but Brandon tells us he doesn’t feel comfortable around her because she’s flaunting her wares as a model. He compares her to Parvati, using her “seductive ways” to try to get attention. “Being a married man, I have to stay away from that kind of stuff.” Really? You’re that easily tempted? If I were your wife, that attitude would make me more worried than simply being able to get along with a woman and treat her like, you know, a normal human being.

Brandon says he’s made bad decisions in the past, and I wonder if one of them dealt with cheating on either his wife or a past girlfriend. But he swears he will vote Mikayla out – “ain’t no chick in this world getting’ in the way of me, my family, and a million dollars.” Famous last words, Brandon. And, really, “chick”?

Christine reminds us that there is a hidden immunity idol clue hidden somewhere at camp. She hasn’t seen anybody else looking for it, so she’s going to search. She doesn’t know if there’s a target on her back (hint: yes) but she would feel more comfortable if she had it in her pocket.

Stacey approaches a group including Coach and Sophie, and Sophie (who apparently is not up on the news that Christine and Stacey are tight) says she’s worried that Christine has the idol. Stacey says if Christine has it, she hasn’t mentioned it to her.

Christine tells us one particular tree looked interesting, with lots of crevasses and hiding places. She notices what looks like a stick that wouldn’t be growing in that particular way – which is because it’s a rolled-up clue, not a stick! The clue says the idol is near the jungle, by the beach, and barely out of reach.

Now she wonders if she should tell anybody about the clue or not (hint: no). She doesn’t know what to do!

Challenge time! Upolu walks in with everybody eating something. Jeff Probst asks them what it is and Coach says they found this delicious fruit (pandera?) and the message they’re sending is that they are all eating together and sticking together – and they plan to win together.

Probst explains the challenge: Four tribe members will race to untie tangled ribbons from a very tall pole (think maypole) to release a keyring. They will use those keys to release the other four tribe members, who must work together to move very heavy crates back and forth across a platform until they can release the largest one (so it’s basically a really big sliding puzzle). First tribe to get that crate on the finish platform wins immunity and a reward of pillows, blankets, a hammock, and a mat – plus a hidden immunity idol clue. Since Upolu has to sit somebody out, Edna is chosen. And since we are shown this process, with her saying it’s up to them, I believe this will potentially come back to haunt her.

Savaii has Cochran, Dawn, Whitney, and Elyse on the pole; Upolu has Stacey, Sophie, Christine, and Mikayla. And they’re off! They all rush in to start untying the knots and then they have to unbraid the ribbons by working together, jumping over and under one another, etc. Upolu is off to a fast start, but Savaii is having some trouble – and it mostly appears to be focused on Cochran.

Upolu gets untied first and Stacey unlocks the other tribe members. They head to the puzzle as Dawn gets Savaii’s keys, but then is not exactly quick in retrieving them – to the point that Probst tells her to pick up the pace because “this is not a picnic!” Elyse grabs the keys and unlocks her tribemates while Upolu has what Probst describes as “a huge lead.”

Both tribes are now working the puzzle, but Upolu may have let their time advantage get to them, as they have slowed down while Savaii is “flying through this puzzle,” in Probst’s words. Indeed, it’s so bad that Savaii has taken the lead (as Cochran helps his tribe by yelling puzzle directions from the sidelines).