Survivor: One World Roundtable Predictions Update, Episode 6 – Karma Is a Female Dog, and So Is Irony

Every season, the RNO writers attempt to assess the chances of the latest Survivor cast. Our mission, should we decide to accept it – predict who won’t make the jury, who will be in the finals, and ultimately, who will win.

So how did we fare regarding Colton’s fate? Well, it’s safe to say no one saw the most controversial player of the season (and perhaps the series) getting med-evaced. But for purposes of this column, we’ll do what we did with Kourtney and treat his evacuation as though he were voted out. To that end, five of us didn’t expect to see him make the jury. Of the other three, two thought he’d be in the jury, and one of us just lost his first finalist – and his winner to boot. To that end, here are the latest standings:

Let’s start at the bottom. Chris, you were one of two players who thought Colton would make the jury.

And to be fair, I probably would have been right if he hadn't a) had an illness or b) eaten a bad crab (as Colton suggested in his RNO interview ). Either way, without the extenuating circumstances I think I would have been right. Coulda, woulda, shoulda. Still, with two of my finalists gone (thanks again, Colton), I guess I can either wait to lose, quit, or go jump in the fire. Those are my options.

Words cannot describe how pissed I am right now. There was NOTHING to indicate this was going to happen. Colton was dominating the game! Everything was falling into place. Even his antagonistic behavior was being directed at other pre-jury boots, so there was a chance the jury wouldn't have penalized him.

I just hate that he got taken out by his illness! It's so freaking random! I wouldn't mind if he had been voted out or if the jury had gone against him in the end, but this? No matter what you think about his behavior, this is a game, and in a game you either beat your opponents or you are beaten. Colton wasn't beaten. He didn't lose. The only loser is me in this equation, and it sucks.

I sincerely hope that something exciting happens next week. Otherwise we're just going to trot to a boring win by someone like Kim. Seriously, given that Colton dominated the entire show to this point, what else is there? I honestly don't care what happens next.

Looks like David has some pretty powerful hoodoo at his command. After he "cursed" the rest of us after losing his winner both William and I lost ours one-two.

Sarah, what is your response to this?

Oh, my God, Jeffrey, you're right! I knew David's professed skepticism was all an act! Quick, anybody got some holy water I can pour over Jonas, [my winner]?

Heh. Heh. Heh. (Evilly twirling my moustache and stroking my goatee.)

Ahem. I'll join William in extending some sympathy to Colton for having (an illness) of all things while he was on the show (karma or not, that sucks), although I'm relieved he's gone for more than reasons of the Roundtable. And while I got this one right, technically speaking, my original forecast for Colton was completely wrong. Still, I will take the point.

I have never been so happy to be right in my life! I read the pre-show coverage that said there has never been a villain like Colton. If I were on the island with Colton, there is zero chance both of us would have left alive! Just a vile human being. Arrogant, entitled, and just mean! The things he said about Bill, and the horrific way he bullied Christina (only to be cradled in her lap - Christina, what's up with that?) went way beyond, "Oh, he's playing this game hard." It speaks to him as a person. I am happy to never see him again, and if they even consider putting Colton in an All-Star version, I am out.

Pretty randomizer. You're so pretty. Do you want a cookie? Here, here's a cookie, you gorgeous little thing, you.