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Love Cruise, Episode 3: Rough Seas Ahead
by Stacey Allison
-- 07/10/2002
The speech by Adrian (shown at right) last week did not exactly make the women feel warm and fuzzy. Would he pay the price, or would he rally the troops instead? Rumors (and lies) abound as we see “the power of words.”
We are informed by the overwrought announcer that the theme of tonight’s episode is “the power of words.” Indeed, gossip is undoubtedly the most dangerous weapon aboard this particular love boat.
We begin with Andrea and Adrian arguing about his comments at the last vote-off, Andrea understandably taking umbrage at his sexist remarks. Privately, Adrian tells us he doesn’t like that Andrea wants Jeannette to win because she’s a single mom, since he’s single and a father. (Which may be the case, but if Adrian is not the primary care giver of his daughter, then the two situations are quite different.)
On to the Re-Coupling Ceremony, huzzah. It’s back to the women’s choice, and I’m sure we all know the drill by now. This time, when the whistle is blown, all the women make a giggling beeline for Michael, since he was picked last the first time. It’s quite a sweet gesture. Michael chooses Melissa, who seems like a nice, level-headed girl. Of course, in the last episode she also said she had a boyfriend, so I’m not quite sure what she’s doing on this boat.
Later, Andrea tells us that Lisa has “had some self-esteem issues.” Um, to say the least, Andrea. She goes on to say that everyone is trying to be very complimentary and supportive of Lisa, perhaps overly so.
Cut to Lisa, who says that it seems Toni and Greg are the only real “couple” at this time, and she wonders whether they’ve made a “ real love connection.” (Can I just take this opportunity to remind everyone that it’s Day 6 of this cruise?)
Toni says that Greg is standoffish, but she really wants to get to know him. Greg apparently likes Toni better when they’re alone together, and she’s not being quite so loud and over-the-top. Really can’t blame Greg for that one, can we?
Cut to Anthony in the Hot Seat question booth (although the sign on the door reads “Hot Set,” written about 5 times in magic marker), telling us that he feels closest to Adrian. Wow, there’s a shocker, considering they’re the two biggest idiots on the boat.
Anthony says that Adrian has been called a deadbeat dad, and wants to know how Adrian feels about that. (Anthony is attributing the deadbeat comment to Jeannette, but this is the first we’ve heard of it. And I’m pretty sure the producers would have delighted in showing that clip, so it seems Anthony has either fabricated this, or was told a lie by another contestant.) Anthony says he knows that Adrian’s daughter is his whole world to him. He’s known Adrian for less than a week. Just, you know, for the record.
Adrian’s next, and he’s still fuming at Jeannette, saying she’s very judgmental. Um, Adrian? There’s a Mr. Pot on line 2. To be fair, Adrian seems quite upset at the accusation, and we know nothing about his relationship with his daughter. But we also know that Jeannette most likely hasn’t made this claim.
Jeannette is in the booth next, and predictably asks a question about Adrian and his sexist ways.
On to the pajama-party-themed Hot Seat. Basically, everyone sits on the floor in PJs, ranging from comfy jammies to silky robes. Toni is up first, and is asked about Greg. The short version is she likes him. For some strange reason she is deemed to be lying, and given a dare, which is a lame striptease (in which she takes off her wrap). Moving on.
Tomiko is up and asked why she can’t see through Adrian’s act to the male chauvinist pig beneath. Everyone is very flustered by this question, and Adrian (sporting a fuzzy, zebra-patterned headband) looks furious. The contestants want to know who asked such a darned insensitive question, and props to Jeannette for speaking up right away and taking credit. Unfortunately for her, calling Adrian out seems to have been a misstep.
Later, Adrian fumes, saying Jeannette’s accusations weren’t cool, and questioning how she could have the nerve (the nerve!) to call him a male chauvinist pig. Um, Anthony? Were you there for your speech the other day at the jury? There’s a clue.
In an interview, Michael says it was a stupid move on Jeannette’s part, since the guys are sticking together. Cut to a pensive Adrian, looking out to sea to the sounds of yes, yes, I believe it’s the world’s tiniest violin.
A new day dawns. Jeannette attempts to clear the air with Adrian, but being the big man he is, he’s not having it. Cue a sympathetic montage of Jeannette the single mom. We see clips of her (I believe) 14-year-old daughter, who looks remarkably like her mother (whom we have finally learned is a 32-year-old office manager).
Onto the shores of a Venezuelan island for the next Couples Competition. Each couple sits on a dingy, and answers trivia from categories such as “Famous Couples” and “Famous Quotes.” If a question is answered incorrectly, the couple has to stand up on the dingy and not fall in, which is clearly impossible. Michael and Melissa answer their question, and remain seated. Everyone else gets theirs wrong, and must stand up. After much flailing of arms and splashing into the water, the end result is that Michael and Melissa win. Michael receives the envelope with the all-important Switch Card.
Now we’re with Lisa, standing in the lovely, clear Venezuelan water, talking to Greg. She tells him all the guys are infinitely “kissable” and he returns the compliment. Lisa is really playing up the insecurity, and it’s starting to get really, really old. Greg nicely tells her how great she is, etc. Gah, could Lisa be more needy?
Cut to Jeannette onboard the ship, knowing she’s next to go. Andrea and Toni tell her that the rumor is she called Adrian a deadbeat dad. She gasps and says she’d never day that, since she doesn’t know anything about his daughter. She says she’ll happily continue to call him a chauvinist because of his comments and how he’s acted, but she would never call him that. Jeannette seems very, very genuine, and good on her for sticking to her guns on the chauvinist issue, when all the other women seem to be willing to let it go.
Jeannette hunts down Adrian to clear up the deadbeat dad issue, and Adrian is quite ungracious. Adrian apparently needs to learn how to communicate with others a tad better. And did I mention he was wearing a fuzzy, zebra headband the night before? Just checking.
Greg and Toni time. They make out (dressed) on the bed and later Greg covers the camera. At breakfast, Toni says they didn’t have sex, just rubbed up against each other (or something to that effect). Toni is definitely a smitten kitten where Greg’s concerned.
Lisa can’t have that, so she tells Andrea that she’s concerned about Toni, since Greg was hitting on her (when she was fishing for compliments) and she doesn’t think he feels as deeply for Toni. This is all rumor and speculation. Which is why our theme today is “the power of words,” isn’t it, kids?
Jury time. Anthony punches fists with Adrian and says he’s his boy. Somewhere, Vanilla Ice and M.C. Hammer look fondly at each other and follow suit. Anyway, Jeannette’s basically a goner.
The women are discussing Greg, and the fact that he may not “have the same depth of feelings” as Toni does. It’s been a week! A week! Where was I? Right, Greg’s getting screwed by Lisa’s tales.
Everyone comes together and as expected, Greg and Jeannette are voted out. Greg takes it very well, no hard feelings, yada, yada, yada. Jeannette cries, and wants to make it crystal clear to everyone that she never called Adrian a deadbeat dad. She really does seem truthful in this, and a big group hug ensues. Minus Adrian, who is sulking like a big baby.
Oh, wait, what’s this? With Lisa as moderator, Adrian and Jeannette talk in her cabin as she packs and patch things up. They both agree that they shouldn’t have judged each other, etc. I maintain that Jeannette had every right to judge Adrian after his sexist, pompous speech last week, but all’s well that ends well.
Toni and Greg on the deck, as he gets ready to leave (hope you like goats, Greg). Greg is being a great sport and Toni is sobbing, saying she heard things about him. He is a little puzzled, but graciously says he’s the first to admit he’s wrong, and pretty much sucks it up. He and Jeannette leave, as Toni sobs and sobs. Geez, it’s Loser Island, not the gas chamber. (Besides, it’s also Aruba, home of white sand beaches and clear ocean water, so put a sock in it.)
Next week: Lisa kisses two guys! In the same night! Maybe even in the same hour! Gasp!
Stacey Allison is an advertising copywriter living in Toronto.
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