Surviving One World, Episode 7: New Tribes/Old Tribes

The other seven make it to the next round as Probst tells them, “Grab your balls, everybody is safe.” C’mon, Jeff, did you not know better than to say something like that?! I so want to make that the subtitle of this article. (In answer to my question, it looks like Probst absolutely knew what he was saying, because he’s live-tweeting some self-congratulations on his own wit.)

Anyway, now it’s time for the third and final ball. They begin again and will continue until they have a winner. But it won’t be Alicia, because she’s out quickly. Jay follows a little while later.

Probst says, “Troyzan’s balls haven’t moved in a long time.” Jeez, man, do you have to dig into his personal life like that? Troyzan has to suppress a chuckle of his own. But Jonas is the one who is out next.

Leif is barely moving. Sabrina is staying steady by looking straight ahead. Another gust of wind hits and Sabrina is out. Leif blows my prediction as his balls roll in opposite directions (well, I guess he didn’t really have balance problems, per se).

So it’s Kat vs. Troyzan for the win. Kat looks rock-steady while Troyzan’s balls are rolling around a bit. He keeps saving himself, but he still seems more likely to fall. Indeed, even his foot is wobbling. But just as I’m ready to declare Kat the winner, she suddenly just steps backwards and is out! What the heck happened?! Whatever it was, Troyzan wins immunity! (For the second time today!)

Troyzan, an obvious fan of the game, calls the situation crazy – he’s waited so long to be in this situation and now he has Jeff Probst putting an immunity necklace on him!

The tribe arrives back at camp. Leif congratulates Troyzan and says they’ll need to talk. Troyzan predicts there will be a lot of scrambling coming up. Troyzan tells us he feels he has a good group with his “old Salani” tribe and he’ll go along with them. Again I’ll say it: They’re new Salani, not old! Sigh.

Chelsea and Jay talk, with Chelsea saying they should stick to the seven on (new) Salani. Knock out the other five from strongest to weakest. Jay suggests Jonas as the first choice, with Leif as a possibility instead. They decide to talk to others, but I have to wonder if this doesn’t work to Chelsea’s advantage no matter what. If they take out a guy on new Manono, that means the women will have a numbers advantage as well, in case they decide to go back to those teams later.

Jay checks with Kim and Sabrina, both of whom agree on Jonas. Chelsea says she hates to see it because he’s a great cook and has a positive attitude, but he’s the strongest among the new Manono, so he has to go next.

Alicia checks in with Kim to see what’s up, since nobody has talked to her. Kim is completely honest with her about Jonas and Alicia seems okay with it. Kim is obviously very intelligent because she tells us the same thing I just said – they want to keep Alicia and Christina around in case they decide to revert back to an alliance of women. Kim says if they get out a guy who is also a member of “new Manono” (finally somebody who understands “new” and “old”!), that puts them in a great position.

Troyzan is brought in on the plan but isn’t very happy about it. Why would you get rid of a provider like Jonas? So Troyzan tells Jonas about it and Jonas is both concerned and confused. Why target him? He’s “the least threatening guy here.” Why not target Mike? Uh, maybe because he’s (at least for now) aligned with them? (As this scene airs, Albert from last season tweets that Troyzan is in jury management mode – he’s telling Jonas about the threat and appearing to be his pal, which could work in his favor if Troyzan makes it to the final three. Good point!)

So Jonas goes into Survivor survival mode – to the point that he apologizes to Tarzan. Tarzan takes it well and they shake hands – and Tarzan actually gets teary-eyed about it. He tells us that they are a strange duo but they respect each other.

The two of them plus Leif and Troyzan decide to vote Kat because she doesn’t really do much. Jonas admits it’s a “last-minute scramble” and I’m unclear as to how they’re going to get the voting numbers on their side. I just don’t see it.

I’m not sure why we have to watch the next scene, but it’s laundry time and Tarzan wants his underwear cleaned. He explains to Sabrina that what he has on them is “not poop” but dirt. He knows what it looks like but assures her he’s right. Mike chimes in that it’s chocolate and I immediately think of the great candy bar/pool scene in Caddyshack.

OK, now I see why we had to watch that scene. Chelsea tells us after making plans, she just wanted to have some clean clothes. So she scrubs her stuff in the ocean and with sand, then puts it in the hot water. Tarzan walks up and throws his underwear in the pot, once again with the reassurance that it’s dirt, not poop. Chelsea doesn’t care – she wants his clothes clean before it’s boiled and he claims he did that already. She doesn’t buy it and pulls it out of the pot.

Tarzan says she should trust him because he knows all about microbiology. I’m sure she feels better now. Or not. She asks him to just wait ‘til she’s done and he agrees. But he keeps talking about how the microbes die in boiling water and then he jokes (I think) that “it’s not that contagious.” Chelsea throws down the stirring stick and walks away, saying she’s going to go puke. Kat just sits there, shaking her head and smiling. She’s probably wondering, “What’s a microbe? I wonder if it can hurt my appendix…”

Tarzan walks away as well and mutters how everybody is so offended by his shorts and they don’t want to share the pot. Dude, can you really blame them?

Chelsea tells us that if it were up to her, Tarzan would be voted out next. She’s all about who deserves to be there and who is a good person to be around. Jonas works hard, so she begs her alliance to save him for a few more days and substitute Tarzan instead.