The Celebrity Apprentice 5, Episode 7, Part 1: Am I Blue?

Clay is livid as he tells Dee he got kicked and hit and he didn’t like it. Oddly, he blames Penn for this, as he calls it an example of Penn having an idea and not caring how it affects other people. Geez, how dare Penn invite big-money donors like the Blue Man Group without thinking that maybe they’ll blow thousands of dollars out of balloons and create a mob scene that Clay wouldn’t enjoy very much! How could he not consider that?

Back to Forte we go, as some more donations come in. Aubrey announces a two thousand dollar donation and interviews that she may not have brought in as much as the other women, but she had the most people coming and bringing money, because everyone she walked up to and addressed she found a way to get them to come up to the booth and donate money.

Meanwhile, Dayana announces a donation of $17,500, and says Marco Andretti is donating seven thousand, and her friends got together and donated the rest. She claims she was the one who brought in the most money, and her biggest check was from Venezuela and they had friends in New York. Teresa’s husband shows up and brings checks from their friends, which ends up totalling over 20 grand. Teresa feels there’s no way she’ll be thrown under the bus because she stepped up to the plate and did what she had to do.

At Unanimous, Dee announces there are five minutes left of selling. Clay autographs someone’s book in pink, because “that’s what they gave me – isn’t it redundant?” (Because he’s gay – get it?) Arsenio is on the phone, finding out that one of the ladies from his office is stuck in traffic and has his check from Jay Leno. The clock winds down and sales are over as Clay is actually turning people away, and of course that’s when Arsenio’s assistant shows up with the check. He interviews that if they lose, it won’t matter why his money didn’t come; what matters is that it didn’t come.

Dee interviews that the object was to raise funds, and Arsenio raised zero dollars, so winning the best-book challenge could be a game changer.

Back at Trump Tower, in comes Regis himself, to the surprise of no one who watched the previews. He calls Donald “Trumpster,” which is funny, and I’d love to see anyone in the Boardroom try and get away with that one. He starts to point out the two covers of the guidebooks, and says the women have a more colorful cover (and he doesn’t point out that theirs is the one in black and white—the ironies just keep on coming). He goes through the men’s book, and then the women’s, and doesn’t say much about either of them, although I’m sure he went on about each of them for two or three hours and they had to cut it down considerably.

Finally Reege says he likes the women’s cover and the persona treatment, and he likes the men’s book because they “picked out big neighborhoods,” so he says. And the winner is… and commercial!

In the Boardroom, The Donald enters and starts by asking Teresa if she thinks they won; she has no idea but she hopes they did, and she was proud of her team at the end of the day. Trump asks Dayana about her difficult time last week, and Dayana says she has a difficult time every week, and she’s going to write her name on one of the chairs, which gets a laugh from the men. Trump asks her why she has a difficult time, and Dayana says something about not being direct or aggressive but it’s too hard for them to listen. Lisa shakes her head.

Trump goes to Aubrey, who says Dayana brought in money but derailed the team in other ways, mentioning the fight with Lisa, and says a lot of people are finding it difficult to communicate with her and it’s not just a language-barrier problem. Ivanka pounces on the fight with Lisa, naturally, and asks about it. Lisa says she took on the whole task for the book and says Dayana asked about subway directions, and blames Dayana entirely for the delays and says if it were up to Dayana, they would have had no product to sell.

Then the arguing ensues, and I have a hard time keeping track of it, but basically Dayana says the graphic designer had the subway directions so she figured she did her part, Lisa says something about if it was that important it should have been for the whole team, Dayana thought everyone was “doing for themselves,” Lisa says no one was, Aubrey keeps saying, “Please hear that” over and over. Arsenio looks disgusted – this show gives me a headache sometimes. Anyway, Lisa starts in again on how the team is driven by her and she does ninety percent of the work with Aubrey, and she doesn’t appreciate people flying under the radar and doing nothing.

Trump asks her if she doesn’t think Teresa was a good Project Manager. Lisa backtracks and says she wasn’t addressing that but Trump points out that she just said she and Aubrey do all the work. Lisa saves her ass by giving Debbie credit as well.

Debbie gets in on the act, saying some people aren’t proactive. She talks about how she and Lisa rushed through their pictures because they didn’t care about how they looked and rushed back to meet the graphic designer. She again says people can be more proactive and not dump everything on Lisa. Teresa takes offense and jumps in saying they didn’t even go to her spots, and they talk over each other as Teresa tries to explain her concept to Trump, but Trump asks Debbie who she’s blaming, even though we don’t know who won yet. Debbie says she’s referring to Teresa’s organization.

Teresa says by now everyone knows what they have to do and she didn’t think she still needed to babysit anyone. She and Debbie argue now, as Debbie insists Teresa didn’t tell them her vision or concept or anything. To this Teresa says, “We’ve been doing printing every single week,” and I have no idea what she’s trying to say. Either way, she’s pissed now, and Debbie tries to explain but Teresa says, “Are you kidding me?” over and over again, and Arsenio wants her to flip the table, which I confess I was waiting for too.

Teresa calls Debbie “Miss Wishy-Washy” before she finishes her point, which is that she told Debbie to take care of the printing a half hour before it had to be done. Aubrey suddenly asks if she can join the other team (because she hates being around all this drama, except when she causes it) and Dee says, “No!” which is pretty funny. Teresa jokes she wants to go on the other team but Trump says he doesn’t think the men want them, and Dee says, “Oh no, no!” He may be the most upfront person on this show.

Ivanka asks Teresa if she thinks Debbie should be fired if they lose, because they have three hours to kill so they may as well stir the pot some more. Teresa says either Debbie or Dayana, although I don’t see how Dayana was at fault this week any more than Teresa was, but okay. Debbie says Teresa doesn’t like anybody who speaks out against her, which is likely true, but Teresa disputes that as Debbie says it’s not professional. Teresa says, “Look what you’re wearing! Are you professional? Your [bleeps] are hanging out!” Yow—things just got awfully personal. (For the record, Debbie is showing way less cleavage than Nene Leakes did a few times last season, so I think Teresa is just being petty now.) Arsenio even looks fed up as Teresa continues the tirade, and Aubrey looks about ready to crack up.

Trump gets things back on track by bringing up Regis Philbin, and saying Reege looked at both guidebooks. He liked both of them a lot, but the one he liked better… was the women’s. Because of that, Toshiba is giving them 35 thousand dollars to add on to their total, but if they lose, the men get the 35 grand plus everything the women made (Lisa: “They do?”), and vice versa. So Trump tells Dee the women have a 35 thousand dollar head start on them.