The Celebrity Apprentice 5, Episode 7, Part 1: Am I Blue?

Trump asks Dee what the bursting balloon was all about, and Penn explains how the Blue Man Group caused a near-riot and how the money was blowing around the area so they didn’t get a lot of it. The women laugh at this, as does Ivanka, and Penn calls it “psychedelic pandemonium.” Trump asks Lou what happened with that money, and Lou says it’s amazing how everyone became piranhas fighting for ten dollar bills, and he mentions how Clay got knocked over.

Clay calls it a disaster and a horrible idea. Trump asks Dee if he thought it was a horrible idea, and Dee says no because Blue Man Group were bringing eight thousand dollars, but Clay says they only got two thousand of that, although I don’t know how he’d know that for sure. Dee asks if he knows that for a fact, and Clay says he doesn’t. Don Jr. asks if they got it all, and Clay lets out a high-pitched “NOOOO!” Clay starts to dispute the statement that it wasn’t their money (which no one has actually said, at least not that was aired) but it would have been their money, but Penn shakes his head, which Clay argues with.

Trump tells Penn he thinks Clay is right, that it was their money until it got blown up, but Penn says that’s not true and so does Dee. Clay says they were going to donate eight thousand dollars, but Penn says they brought that as part of the spectacle, and Clay belligerently says, “That was stupid!” Actually if you’ve seen the Blue Man’s show, it fits right in, stupid or not. Also, if you want more of Penn’s opinion on what happened, he wrote up a piece in Huffington Post about it.

Trump asks Dee who brought in the least amount of money, and Dee says Arsenio, but not for lack of trying. Arsenio explains the debacle with Jay Leno’s check, and Trump says combined the two teams raised hundreds of thousands of dollars, and you know what the difference is between winning and losing? I expected him to say something like “perseverance,” or crap like that, but apparently it’s only fourteen dollars. Wow! Trump says they’ve never had anything so close in the history of the show.

He tells the men it would be sad if they lost by only fourteen dollars and they threw thousands of dollars away, and he asks Clay if that’s what he’s saying, because we have to milk this conflict for all we can. Clay says if he’s raising money for charity, he doesn’t want to lose anything.

So finally we’re going to find out who won. Trump asks Don how the women did, so if you’ve ever watched this show before you now know exactly which team won. Don says the women raised $127,855, plus the 35 grand bonus, for a grand total of $162,855. Teresa says she’s proud of herself and the team. As for the men, Ivanka says they raised $162,869. Dee is unsure if they won, but they did. (I refuse to believe Trump did that match in his head, so I’m assuming someone rushed in to tell him the 14 dollar difference and got edited out.)

Trump asks Dee about his charity, and Dee says two of his four children were born prematurely, and they’re healthy but the March of Dimes helps families with children who aren’t healthy, and he’s been working with them for twelve years. So the grand total is 326 thousand dollars he’ll be giving them, and everyone applauds as Trump congratulates both the men and women and says they’ve now raised over a million dollars for charity. There is more applause, but Clay still looks pretty ticked off. The men are dismissed.

The men are not shown celebrating for a change, as we’re right back to the Boardroom. Trump asks Debbie why they lost, and she says it was not for lack of trying. He again jumps on her for not thinking Teresa was a good Project Manager, and Debbie says it didn’t have to do with fundraising, and if it came down to money, she basically won the book part of the competition.

Trump asks Teresa who raised the most money; she says Lisa, and she was a close second. Trump asks about Dayana, and Dayana says she brought in about $25,500, which Trump says is pretty good, so she’s likely safe again. Ivanka points out that Lisa basically wrote the book and raised the most money, and asks if she was effectively the PM on this task; Teresa says Lisa was her right hand, and Trump somehow brings up Lisa roasting him again with what he calls her “fresh mouth.” Um… okay then.

So who raised the least? Teresa is very reluctant to say Aubrey, and Trump asks her why. Aubrey says she raised 20 thousand, which was the least. And that’s all the time we’ll spend on that, because Trump asks Teresa about her “babysitting” comment again. Teresa says she told Debbie to take care of the printing, and Debbie says, “I don’t think she knows what that means,” though whether she’s talking about printing or babysitting, I don’t know.

Teresa says they’re in week seven and they all know what they’re supposed to do, and when Debbie was PM, Teresa gave her 110 percent (seriously, is everyone going to say that at some point this season?). Debbie insists she did too but Teresa says she didn’t, and the two of them talk over each other again as Debbie tries to explain the signage issue, and Teresa says, “Hello?! I’m speaking!” The men are amused, until Paul pretends to be serious and says, “Hello?! She’s speaking!” This cracks up the men. That Paul, such a rascal.

Teresa says she delegated and implies no one listened to her. Debbie says there was no direction and the graphic designer was being monopolized until the eleventh hour, so Debbie jumped in and asked about the visual on the kiosk, which Teresa didn’t know, so Debbie and Aubrey ran out and created the entire visual.

Before another argument ensures, Trump asks who else Teresa had to babysit, and Teresa names Dayana. Trump asks why Dayana, but doesn’t let her explain as he then asks if she thinks they lost because of “Deborah.” Teresa can’t answer that either as Trump says she could say they lost because of Aubrey because she raised the least amount of money. (Aubrey looks worried, but come on – she ain’t going anywhere for a long while.)

We move on as Trump asks Lisa about Aubrey raising the least, and Lisa says she doesn’t care, but she can’t explain either as Trump says if Aubrey had raised 15 dollars more, they would have won. Aubrey jumps in and says she did raise 15 bucks more (she did?) because everyone she talked to on the street donated at least 100 to 500 dollars, but Trump cuts her off and tells her she still raised the least amount of money. Aubrey insists she still raised a lot of money, but Trump again says she still raised the least amount. Here are my two cents, as if you asked: When the lowest amount raised is 20 grand, that’s still pretty good, so maybe you need to find fault elsewhere. I hate that I’m defending Aubrey, but there you go.

So Trump asks Debbie who he should fire, and Debbie says Teresa, because Lisa out-fundraised her, and for the disorganization as well. Teresa takes it hard, as we all knew she would, as she says, “For a couple thousand dollars more, thank you very much.” Trump asks Debbie who the weakest link is instead, and Debbie admits Teresa is indeed a team player, and not that Dayana isn’t, but Dayana may be the weakest in terms of ideas.

Dayana says she’s already explained how hard it is for her to be heard and how many ideas she’s put on the table in every task they’ve lost, and Lisa interjects but Dayana asks that she not be interrupted, but Lisa says, “Yeah well it’s getting a little hard.” That’s what she said! (I actually said this out loud, and the next shot is of Aubrey chuckling. What a great serendipitous moment that was for me.)