The Celebrity Apprentice 5, Episode 7, Part 1: Am I Blue?

Dayana asks for Lisa to let her continue, and Lisa scoffs. Ivanka points out that she was able to articulate herself there, so what’s happening during the tasks? Dayana points out that here Lisa is not screaming at her to shut up – she has a point there. Lisa says she’s not in her ear, distracting the graphic designer.

Dayana insists that all of her ideas she puts on the table are not heard, although Aubrey says they’ve heard every one of them, and Dayana says they’ve lost every task following Aubrey’s “theories.” Trump asks Dayana why her team doesn’t seem to respect her week after week. Aubrey looks ready to jump on that morsel, but Debbie says he asked who the weakest player is, and they said last week they have a strong team. She has nothing personal against Dayana but the ideas are not always focused on the task at hand and don’t always make sense for what they’re trying to do.

Trump asks Dayana who the weakest player is, and she says the one who brought the least money for this task would be the weakest, meaning Aubrey.

Trump tells Teresa to pick two people to bring back in with her, and the suspenseful music plays even though this is the least suspenseful part of the show each and every week. To the surprise of no one, Teresa picks Dayana and Debbie. Trump calls it “interesting,” though the word I would have used is “predictable.” The women are dismissed and Trump tells the men to turn off their TV. For their part, Dee thought Aubrey would be the weakest member, and Clay thinks Teresa is going to get fired for not picking Aubrey, which everyone agrees with. I don’t know, that doesn’t seem likely to me, since you know Trump is in no hurry to fire Aubrey.

Outside the Boardroom, Debbie doesn’t think she lost them this task (I think she’s right), and Dayana says this one was about fundraising. Debbie asks Teresa why she didn’t bring back who raised the least amount of money if this was about fundraising. It’s an excellent question, so of course Teresa has no answer. (“I’d rather bring back the people I don’t like,” being the unspoken reason.)

Back in the Boardroom, Trump asks Teresa who brought in more money between Debbie and Dayana. Teresa says Dayana, and she says she brought in more than both of them. Trump moves on to Dayana and asks her why he shouldn’t be firing her tonight, since it’s her third time back in the Boardroom. She says she’s the one who has been raising the most money for charity in total, since she won 20 grand for her charity and 50 grand for her teammates’ charities; Teresa questions that amount, but Dayana says she brought in $25,500 for her and $25,000 for Patricia, which is true.

Trump asks Teresa if she has a personal problem with Debbie. Teresa says no, apparently forgetting about the way she went after Debbie’s clothing earlier. Trump asks why he’d fire Debbie as opposed to her. Teresa says every week she’s delivered, and Debbie hasn’t, and she picks her weeks when to deliver and when not to. Debbie leaps on this and Teresa flat-out accuses Debbie of setting her up with the printing, which Debbie denies.

Ivanka asks for clarification on this whole printing issue, and Teresa claims she put Debbie in charge of printing the banners, which Debbie says was not clearly delegated. They argue this and Teresa goes back to saying, “I didn’t know I had to babysit you. Again, we’re in the seventh week! Are you serious, Debbie?” She certainly repeats herself a lot. She asks Debbie how old she is and throws in one more “Are you serious?” as the two of them argue. Dayana is caught in the middle and Trump jokes about how much she is loving it, while Ivanka makes a joke about how she’s wisely not saying anything. Meanwhile, the sniping goes on.

Debbie says there was poor leadership, and Trump asks if Debbie is hard to manage, to which Teresa says yes. Is she talented? How that’s relevant only Trump knows, but Teresa says maybe in singing, and Ivanka is surprised that Teresa won’t even give her that. Teresa says something about her being big in the ‘80s, and Debbie mentions managing her own business, but it’s hard to pick anything out of this racket.

Trump asks why he shouldn’t fire Teresa if she’s the Project Manager and she lost. Teresa says she delivers every single week, and she raised the most money on her team this week. He asks if she’s surprised Dayana raised so much, and Teresa says she’s not and they all could do that if they put they mind to it. Trump says, “But Debbie didn’t do that.” Keep stirring, Trump, keep stirring.

Teresa starts to say it’s because Debbie’s been out of the spotlight for a while, but then Trump asks why she didn’t bring Aubrey back to the Boardroom, since she raised the least. Teresa says that going forward they need key players against the men, but Trump says she needs to worry about today instead of going forward, and Debbie says it should have been her and Aubrey if they raised the least, and not Dayana. She says she doesn’t see Dayana as a big problem, but Teresa says Dayana has come back three times so obviously there’s a problem there.

Don asks Debbie if that’s a smart, strategic statement to make right now. Debbie says she doesn’t strategize, and I have trouble following her logic as well but she uses the term “throw someone under the bus” and that’s when I automatically tune out. Trump asks why they want to throw Dayana under the bus, and Debbie doesn’t know. Teresa says she lies low, and Trump says that could be a smart strategy. Trump goes back to Debbie’s comment, and Debbie says it should be her and Aubrey in the Boardroom if they raised the least.

Trump asks Debbie what she has to offer moving forward (I thought we weren’t supposed to worry about moving forward?) and Debbie says she offers ideas, creativity, proactivity, hustling, and being a team player when needed. Teresa, same question? Instead of answering, Teresa disagrees with Debbie and says she’s only a team player when she wants to be, and Ivanka points out that she did says “when needed,” and tells Debbie it was an interesting way to qualify her statement. Debbie rambles about how sometimes being a team player means stepping out of the way, and Trump makes an interesting point that maybe Dayana does that well, and she just sits there and watches the two of them go at it. Sneaky, the lengths he goes to just to keep her around, isn’t it?

Dayana says she doesn’t believe that’s why she’s still here, because she raised a lot of money and worked a lot for her charity and she’s always working for the rest of her team. Teresa says there was also a book involved and it wasn’t just about the money (yeah, it pretty much was). Trump says this task was about raising money, whether they did a good book or a terrible book, and Regis liked it but that didn’t cut it.

At last he gets to the point, which is that this was about raising money and who raised the most, and he thinks Aubrey should have been brought back and she might have been fired for this task because she raised the least. (Ha! Good one, Trump, tell us another one!) But of the people she brought back, Debbie raised the least, so she’s fired.

Debbie says she’s comfortable with that, based on the way this went, and Trump again insists that Teresa should have brought back Aubrey. So Debbie gets punished for Teresa’s mistake, I guess. Probably the wrong decision, but again, Teresa is more confrontational so of course she’s gonna be sticking around.

Debbie hugs Dayana goodbye, and asks for one from Teresa but doesn’t get it, as she just waves goodbye and hops on the elevator. Debbie’s voiceover says the worst thing about this experience has been seeing how shrewd and dishonest people can be for very self-serving purposes, and sitting inches away from people and know that they’re lying leaves her feeling a little unsettled. She says Trump can’t fire her from being Debbie Gibson, so nothing is lost. She doesn’t get the loser’s limo treatment, since we’ve got another hour to go.

Stay tuned for my recap of that next hour, coming soon!

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Dave Marklinger (thewave297@hotmail.com) can’t believe he missed Wrestlemania for this.

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