The Celebrity Apprentice 5, Episode 7, Part 2: I’m Gonna Walk Like a Man, Fast As I Can

Back at Forte, Penn goes over an outline of the presentation thus far (part of which involves Dayana in a swimsuit—you can see why I’m cheering for this man) and Lisa is impressed and says he’ll have the outline and some of the dialogue before he even leaves to his gig in Toronto. She says one of their strongest players is leaving, and it’s like watching Dad go off to work when you know you have to watch the “young’uns.” Penn departs.

Dee is overseeing the graphic design work and the branding aspects of the membership kit, and says he incorporated their logo into the kit without screwing with it. Dayana says Dee wants to play it safe and out the logo on every side of the box, but she would love to do something more.

Don Jr. walks in and Lisa pitches him the idea, and Don interviews that Lisa recognizes she’s still one of the strongest players and that Lou needs to be controlled a little bit, so if she keeps him on track, “it’s not so insubordinate if it gets you the win.” Dee is having computer issues so Dayana helps him, and Don points out that she’s not nearly as useless as everyone made out in the Boardroom.

Dee says she has impressed the hell out of him so far, and of course Lisa has a problem with hearing Dayana being complimented as she complains about wanting to get the “puke bucket.” She says she’s so sick of dealing with people who are not contributing anything, and basically anyone who thinks otherwise is delusional. That’s pretty much what it comes down to.

Unanimous is back at Trump Tower, where Aubrey is gushing over the photos she took. Arsenio takes issue with the close-up photo of him she wants to use instead of a long shot, and she argues that they have to have the best product and it doesn’t matter how good they look. That reminds me, tell us about your horribly over-photoshopped Playboy shoot again?

She calls it whining, of course, and says to use a long shot of Arsenio next to four close-ups of the others would make no sense and almost destroy the appeal of the product. What pains me is that she’s right, it does look better with the tight shot than the long one. But of course she manages to ruin it by saying, “I know it might be a harsh reality, but those wrinkles really did happen to your face.” Between that and saying Tia is a hundred years old, I’m beginning to think she has it in for anyone in their forties.

Arsenio argues it some more, saying he’s the host so he gets a little artistic license (and of course Aubrey doesn’t say that “wrinkles” line to his face). Clay feels Aubrey is starting to take over more than she should, so it’s unsettling to see her moving forward and making decisions without asking permission.

Eric walks in for his spy mission. Clay starts explaining their concept and Aubrey sits down and tells him the plan behind the box, and Eric interviews that she’s really taking charge and he was surprised to hear it all coming out of her, given that it’s Arsenio’s task. Aubrey goes on about how she goes to Walgreens all the time, which sounds about as genuine as anything else she’s said, and suddenly has a moment of clarity when she asks, “Am I taking over?”

Arsenio reluctantly says she is. He has an angry interview as he says she’s trying to take over and make it seem like it’s all about Aubrey when it isn’t, and that she’s diametrically opposed to anything team-related (I agree with him there) and he’s sick of her. She sheepishly apologizes and walks off, and Clay looks more pleased than a cat with a saucer of milk as he winks at Arsenio.

Forte is in their van en route to their rehearsal space, and they come up with their slogan, “Walk and do it all.” Lisa asks about the box some more, and suggests putting things you can do while walking around the box, which Dee seems to like. He gives Lisa “-ing” verbs, and interviews that he included some ridiculous things that you technically could do while you walk, like “itching” and “scratching.” “Insulting” and “yelling” gets some protests from Dayana for being negative, and she tells us she’s worried that some of the words might confuse the idea they’re trying to project.

They arrive at the rehearsal space and start walking through the presentation, which involves Lou introducing every team member demonstrating things you can do while walking. Lisa is concerned about Lou going off-track even though she thinks he can be wrangled, although she has no idea why it’s her job to wrangle him. She walks Lou and Dayana through a bit, and then in her interview she tears up (again!) as she complains that without Penn she has no backup, and she’s always carrying the weaker people on her team and wonders whether she should let Lou ramble like an “incoherent idiot.” You mean, like Aubrey? ZING! Lou is writing something but pauses to think, as Lisa jokes to the camera that it’s going to be sad when he goes home tomorrow.

At Unanimous, Aubrey goes over the quotes she wrote for each team member to go on the box, meant to be testimonials from each of them as to why they walk. (Clay’s is “Walking gives me stamina to face the music,” which is pretty good, really.) Arsenio is perturbed because Aubrey keeps trying to talk him out of his quote, which involves walking with someone you love, and get him to use the one she wrote, if that makes any sense at all. He insists he’s going to use his own quote.

They run through the game show presentation, until Aubrey calls Clay over to look at something she did on the computer. He interviews that Aubrey is very good at making sure she gets everyone to say, “I love this, I approve of this,” and she doesn’t do anything better than cover her ass.

Arsenio is reluctant to look at the picture for the box, and sure enough Aubrey is using the one he doesn’t like, and she argues about his looking different than everyone else’s and he argues that he’s the host so it’s okay. She says he can change anything he wants, but he says he can’t because there’s a deadline. He interviews that Aubrey is impossible to work with, because he tells her to do something and she does the opposite and she’s undermined him at every step. I want to agree with him here, but damn—she’s still right about that whole picture thing.