The Celebrity Apprentice 5, Episode 7, Part 2: I’m Gonna Walk Like a Man, Fast As I Can

Allison thinks it was a great presentation overall, and she and Joe like the “Face Reality” slogan. Allison thinks it was really informational and Mark says it was a little bit “intensely fact-based.” Joe isn’t sure they understood the program from the beginning and it wasn’t spelled out. Allison says they have a tough decision to make and she looks forward to talking to Trump about it, and the way she says it reminds me of Padma on Top Chef, because pretty much her only job is to introduce people and challenges, and to say things like that. They could pretty much replace her with a talking robot, really, and I doubt I’d be able to tell the difference half the time. But I digress.

To the Boardroom of Doom! Are we sure this episode is only three hours? I feel like I’ve been watching it for two days at least. Anyway, Trump asks Lou if they won; he’s optimistic and thinks they have a very good chance, they delivered everything the executives wanted from them. Trump moves on to Lisa, who he asks how Lou did as PM. She says he was all right, but not great, as he fell on her for most of the organization and her and Penn for the writing and Dee for the printing, without it being spoken out loud. She thinks Lou is very nice but finds it hard to be tough, and Trump disputes that, saying he fights a lot of people.

Lou thinks he utilized everyone’s strengths, he let them speak, and he made most of the decisions, because he didn’t want any conflict that would affect the presentation. Trump asks Penn who he agrees with, and Penn says he wasn’t there for much of it, and Trump suggests maybe he should fire Penn because he wasn’t there. I don’t recall him saying that about Adam when he wasn’t there in week two—how about it, Trump? Lisa says Penn did more in two hours than she’s seen some people do in eight hours, and Dee says he did the show on one hour’s sleep after flying in that morning, which Trump commends him for.

Trump asks Arsenio how he liked having Teresa and Aubrey on his team, and Arsenio says he was fine with it. Clay says it’s a very nice, new dynamic, and he gives Arsenio credit for making the mood, and says he was a great Project Manager.

Don keeps digging for conflict as he asks who was the more valuable of the two women, but Clay says they’re very different, as Aubrey brought a lot of ideas to the table but Teresa was the better team player. Eric won’t let it go and asks if Aubrey was ever overbearing (which is like asking, “Is water wet?”) and references how she took over when he visited the team.

Arsenio says managing Aubrey you have to customize your style for her, and what’s important is that you accept that and find a way to deal with her being on a different speed than other because you don’t want to stop that creative process, you want to channel it and control it a little bit, Whew, that was a mouthful. He says she goes a mile a minute whereas Paul trims the fat, and he may say one thing but it’s a nugget of gold, which Trump agrees with.

Trump asks Aubrey about Clay’s assertion that she’s not a team player. He asks Clay if he got it right, and Clay says Aubrey is not a team player but is full of ideas, and Arsenio asks for clarification on the word “ideas” because, “I just didn’t know what came after ‘full.’” Oh boy—did someone order some worms? Because Arsenio just opened up a whole can of them! Anyway, Clay says there are times when she forges ahead without getting approval, and at times she forged ahead with ideas she was asked not to forge ahead with, and there are situations where that can be harmful. Trump thinks he’s right.

Don and Eric pass out the boxes so each team can look at the other’s. Aubrey looks over Forte’s and then tosses it aside, which surprises Arsenio, and he passes it to Paul. Teresa asks Aubrey what she thought, and Aubrey whispers back, “That’s horrible.” Ever the diplomat, aren’t you, Red? Trump asks Forte what they think and Clay thinks it’s boring, and Aubrey agrees. As for the Unanimous box, Lisa thinks the design is very cool and she loves the quotes, which of course Aubrey is quick to take credit for writing.

But Arsenio says that’s not true, and he says, “Typing is not writing.” Aubrey seems genuinely confused, and Arsenio tries to move on but Trump asks him to clarify. He says it’s another way of putting the “I” in “team.”

Aubrey says she said it because Lisa was always proud of her as a writer, but again Arsenio insists that typing is not writing. (Trump tries to interject something about Aubrey not being a hundred percent, and I’m curious to where he was going to go with that one.) She asks if she didn’t make all of the quotes up, and Arsenio says he came up with his own, and mentions Paul’s weight loss from walking.

Aubrey says to read his quote which she herself wrote, but Arsenio again says she didn’t write his, “So the totality of your statement right here is untrue.” Okay, I get that he has issues with Aubrey, and who can blame him, but this just makes him seem like he’s looking for an argument. Which maybe he is, since that’s a sure-fire way to get more screen time, so I don’t know.

On a side note, those bumpers with the new M&M seem to be a regular thing now. Thank goodness for fast-forwarding, because they kinda creep me out. Though I do want some M&Ms right about now…

Aubrey tells Trump she wrote everyone’s except Arsenio’s but she put his together, which he takes offense to and starts yelling, and she asks him why he’s screaming. He accuses her of telling a lie, and she goes to Teresa about writing everybody’s, which Teresa says she did but it incorporates everybody. Trump suggests that what Arsenio is complaining about is that she’s taking credit and using “I” instead of “team,” and she tries arguing but Arsenio says that’s exactly what he’s saying. He points out that Aubrey took the box and instead of showing it to her other teammates she tossed it away, and her whole personality is about Aubrey.