The Celebrity Apprentice 5, Episode 7, Part 2: I’m Gonna Walk Like a Man, Fast As I Can

Back to business, as Trump asks Eric what the execs thought of Arsenio’s presentation. It was full of energy, they loved the “Face Reality” theme and the design of the kit (any other week, Aubrey would be taking credit for that, but right now she’s just stewing.) On the negative side, they thought the game show was too informational and didn’t motivate the audience to go out and walk. (I disagree with that—Paul’s speech about how much healthier he got made me want to go for a walk right now. Or maybe I just want this show to end. Patience, Dave, tough it out…)

Trump asks Aubrey whose idea the game show was, and she thinks one of the guys. Arsenio is in fine form now, as he says she won’t remember because if it’s not one of her ideas, she don’t give a [bleep.] He’s not wrong, but still—ouch.

Aubrey gets all sad a doe-eyed as she claims she hates this [bleep], and Arsenio says he’s not saying anything that’s not true, and he reiterates that she knows where her own ideas come from. He says he hates the selfishness, and Aubrey suddenly remembers it’s because she was working on the box and that’s why she doesn’t know (which is not true, since I remember exactly whose idea it was and when it came up) but Arsenio shuts her down. He says he hates to lead a team and have such a complicated time massaging her ego to make it fit in with the rest.

Clay has a deer-in-the-headlights look as Trump asks him if he agrees with Arsenio. Keep stirring, Donald, keep stirring. Clay does agree, and says Arsenio’s frustration comes from the fact that they did do a lot of massaging, and he wishes he knew enough about sports to come up with a great coach reference for him (Vince Lombardi leading the ’67 Green Bay packers to Super Bowl I, for example? Go Pack!) because he made sure the mood and the tone was great but a lot of that was a result of having to massage Aubrey into the group.

Aubrey is clearly tearing up now as she turns to Teresa and starts to ask her something about teaching her everything she’s ever asked (huh?) but Arsenio says, “Now she’s a teacher!” which actually made me laugh out loud. Arsenio says she can’t say anything that’s not selfish, and Aubrey says she can’t say anything with these two men, but Trump points out its mostly Arsenio (with a placating smile, too).

Aubrey asks Teresa if she’s been a team player to her and taught her things she didn’t know; Teresa says yes, but Trump leaps in and accuses her of using a leading statement (I think that’s what he was going for there) and says he doesn’t think she taught Teresa everything she knows. Aubrey says she didn’t say that, but Trump asks Teresa if she said that, and Teresa says yes. Trump asks if Aubrey is selfish; Teresa says she speaks very fast, which really doesn’t answer the question, but Aubrey is crying now so we’re moving on.

Trump asks Aubrey why she’s crying, and says there’s no reason to cry, which she agrees with. He asks her if she likes Arsenio, and she says not after hearing everything he just said. Trump says it was rough and he was like that on television; Aubrey says she admired him on television but she doesn’t admire him anymore. (Not for nothing, but when his show ended its run, she was ten years old, so I don’t think that’s likely.) Arsenio says he has to kiss her ass for her to admire him, but she says, “That’s not my truth,” and he pounces on “your truth again, There’s only your truth, I don’t get an opinion.” She accuses him of putting words in her mouth, even though she did just say “my truth.”

Trump asks Arsenio who he’s gonna fire if they lose. Uh, Trump--you’re the one who fires people, remember? Arsenio says he’d probably fire Aubrey, and Paul seconds that, but doesn’t elaborate. Clay says going forward, there are four people on the team who are team players and one who works for herself, though he and Trump both admit she’s smart and creative but not a team player. Trump says he knows a lot of people like that and some do well and some “crash and burn like dogs,” and he tells Aubrey she’s got to be careful.

That weird rant over, Trump turns to Don and asks him what the execs said about Lou’s team, because everyone watching forgot there was another team on this show. The judges loved Lou’s testimony, and apparently that was the only positive. The negatives of course were Penn’s “Wal Mart” gaffe, and Penn says he was exhausted and he didn’t even know when he did it. It’s right up there with “Buick Verona,” really.

Also, Don mentions the negative words like “itching,” “scratching,” and “yelling” in the signage. Trump asks who came up with that idea, even though Dee just said, “Uh oh,” so that kind of gives it away. Dee says it was Lisa’s concept but says they were doing a comedic presentation involving things like juggling. Trump starts on how “scratch” is a negative word, and Lisa says if people are scratching they should go to Walgreens and buy some friggin’ salve, so they should be happy people are scratching. Trump admits it’s a pretty good point.

So does everyone want to find out what happened? Trump says Joe, Mark, and Allison loved both teams overall, but the bottom line is that Arsenio’s team won. Arsenio is starting to tear up as Trump tells him how much the execs loved him in particular (Aubrey still looks pissed right off). Paul tosses in a “Woof Woof!” before Arsenio talks about his charity, and Don jokes that Arsenio is going to make him cry. They’re dismissed, and Arsenio can’t get out of there fast enough. Teresa tries asking Aubrey what’s the matter on the way out.

Arsenio gives a jubilant thumbs up to Amanda the secretary as he walks by. The rest of the team follows… but wait! Aubrey heads straight for the elevator; Teresa is unsure whether she should follow, but Clay tells her to let her do what she wants to do, and Teresa seems to think Aubrey is mad at her. Aubrey interviews that she doesn’t want to be around the negativity anymore and it’s not why she came. She says the environment is unhealthy and ugly, and she doesn’t know if it’s the right place for her. The elevator doors close on her… so she’s left the show? I guess?