The Biggest Loser 13, Episode 14: Makeover Madness

Previously on The Biggest Loser, after being invisible for the entire season, Megan suddenly started getting camera time. This of course meant she would be headed home. The teams did a challenge that resulted in a huge donation of food from a sponsor, one of the few moments that made me smile. That moment was immediately canceled out by one of the worst, most blatant in-show commercials this show has ever done. Kim won a challenge that resulted in her winning $1,000 for each pound she lost, with her losing seven. Megan and Mark fell below the yellow line and Megan was sent home by unanimous vote. On with the show.

Mercifully, this week we've got an hour long show, since this week they decided to pull one hour out of The Biggest Loser and instead implant it in Celebrity Apprentice. This is a perfect example of addition by subtraction. Add to the substance by subtracting the padding.

This week's excuse is "..." well, apparently, we don't have an excuse this week. Since we don't have one, I will give us one. This week's excuse is "I can't lose weight at the White House." Admit it, that excuse is no dumber then some of the actual excuses we've gotten.

We open to the ranch living room the day after the elimination where Conda is talking to Jeremy. Conda said that this is the hardest elimination so far. Why? She says she's been close to Megan since she first got here and she's also been close to Mark. Conda tells us she was close to Megan for some reasons and she was close to Mark for different reasons. Conda says she is many things: abrasive, bossy, obnoxious, arrogant, and a complete bitch. Well okay, she might not have said all of those.

Conda whines that people were mean to Megan, but Conda took her in and watched out for her. When was this? You mean NBC devoted five minutes of air time last week just to a commercial about a sandwich shop, but couldn't spend a single moment over 13 episodes to show that Conda and Megan were close? Conda doesn't want Megan to feel like something and Jeremy says something but NBC blocks what they say just to announce election news. Conda was going to vote out Mark but just couldn't. Jeremy says they're at a point where Conda has to stay focused on her end goal. He continues to console Conda by saying Megan will find her drive, continue her goals at home, and go chase horses. Okay.

Conda says with six of them left there are only three weeks until she gets to see Megan. Jeremy agrees and Conda says there is no one left she wants to talk to other then her brother. Conda is happy she made it this week and Jeremy says she did a good job.

We cut from there to the challenge. We see a very large soccer net and several cardboard cutouts of the contestants, or how they used to look, set up inside of what look like colored window frames. Okay. In front of the frames are color-coordinated slingshots.

Buddy says as he walks up to the challenge that he can see the silhouette and recognizes his figure. It looks larger then he remembered. All of them see their former selves and wince. Kim says her eyes looked dead but now she feels alive. Alison greets them and says each one of them has a window of their former selves. The challenge is to climb up the cargo net (really looks like a soccer goal), grab a baseball, and fire it into both panes of glass in their window. The winner gets a one-pound advantage. Conda says one pound is super important; Megan and Emily were both sent home by one pound. However, the person who comes in last will get a one pound disadvantage. That's got to suck.

No one is happy at that news. Buddy says the worst case scenario is Chris or Kim getting the one pound advantage. They're both light and not part of his approved final four.

And they're off running up the net as it starts to rain. Mark makes it back to his slingshot first and misses. Kim hits the top piece of her glass in the face. Kim wanted the ball to smash her dead eyes. Buddy manages to smash the top pane of glass on his window while Chris fires. She says she's never used a slingshot before but still manages to break her top glass. We see people rapidly fire their slingshots. Buddy says it's about finding your zone. He manages to break the bottom pane, thus winning the challenge.

Buddy says he's never had a one pound advantage and is stoked. Mark finally breaks his glass, while Conda and Jeremy have nothing. Kim says a one pound disadvantage can send you home. Conda says she can't get it this week. Oh Conda, if that were true would I be wishing with all my might for you to get it? Chris says you might as well give her the disadvantage right now. Mark breaks the top half of his window. He says he's excited since at least he didn't get the disadvantage.

Now we see a montage of Jeremy and Conda failing. Jeremy says he was getting very annoyed because the ball kept hitting the glass and doing nothing. To emphasize this point, Conda finally makes it. Jeremy finally breaks his bottom glass while Kim finishes.

Jeremy manages to break his top glass, so now we're down to Chris and Conda. Conda says she can't get the disadvantage. Jeremy is nervous because Conda sucks at stuff like this. Conda attempts to shoot, but the ball falls out of her slingshot. Chris fires and makes it! Yes! Conda has a one pound disadvantage at the Weigh-In.

Conda is frustrated because one pound can send her home. Conda says she can't have an optimistic side at this point. Alison asks Buddy how it feels to have a one pound advantage at this point in the game. Shock of all shocks, he says it feels good.

Alison says they're all lucky to have made it this far, and they've come here to find the beauty within. Now it's time to make the outside match the inside. Yes, it's makeover week. Chris is excited, and Kim wants to be pampered and too shop. Alison tells them that tomorrow they'll be meeting with Jeannie Mei and getting a haircut with Ken Paves. Kim asks if Jessica Simpson will be there. Conda is super excited, thinking that Jessica Simpson will be there (she won't) because the two of them really connected (they didn't) and they will have a lot to talk about (they don't). Alison congratulates them again and sends them off.

Now we see them in Beverly Hills. They walk into a store where Jeannie Mei is waiting. Kim wants her outfit. Jeannie compliments them for making it this far and says this week is unlike any the show has ever done. It's the biggest one yet and it’s going to be unforgettable. Jeannie says they have an opportunity: they'll get to see someone who’s an icon not just to the losers, but to the entire country. Jeannie turns their attention to the monitor and everyone gasps.