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Survivor: One World – Ranking the Final 10 Survivors (or, You’re Safe… Trust Me!)Page 3
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When Tarzan surgically removed a support from the side of the shelter and defended himself so vociferously over it, he just might have jumped to the top of the exit queue. And if that didn’t do it, embarrassing Chelsea over her boob job may have done the trick.
Now, dear readers, inspect carefully if you must – I certainly did – but I am pleased to report that clearly, Chelsea has no reason to hate her plastic surgeon. Trust me! I have screen-cap evidence!
I think the women are making a big mistake if they don’t taken out Jay next, but if Jay wins immunity, none would care if Tarzan went instead. Tarzan had a potential role as a goat at Final Tribal Council, but that seems very remote now, for two reasons. One, unlike Secret Agent Phillip who accepted his role as a finalist, I don’t think Tarzan would be as willing to step aside and let everyone else drive the bus. And two, anyone making the effort to drag Tarzan all the way to the end would lose the respect of several jurors, who would believe Tarzan had their spot. This could hand the win to whoever happened to be in the third seat. Like, for example, Kat.
10: Jay (was 4th)
Jay had premonitions he was on trouble. Suddenly, HE is the most physical dude in the game, and the females control the vote. Bro, it isn’t paranoia if the danger is real! Jay is the last (original) rooster standing. Do you know what happens to roosters in this game? Somebody like Chelsea finds you in the woods, holds you upside down by your legs, and wrings your neck!
I was bemused when Jay complained, “I hate puzzles,” and then a couple of minutes later, he solved arguably one of the most difficult ones ever.
After Jay won immunity, he told us he still felt it was right to vote out Christina. The next shot was of sleeping bats. Now, I’m not on top of all that “animal imagery” stuff, but I can’t imagine that being called “asleep” or “bats” by the editors was any kind of a good sign!
Jay’s only hope would be if Tarzan’s annoyance factor kicks up another notch, and the ladies decide that for three more days, they’d rather ogle Jay’s pecs than some insane elder guys poopy underoos. Sounds like a toss-up to me!
Juror 2: Mike (was 7th)
I’ve been saying the others have to get the big guy out of the game for a while now… so, the week I decide they can’t hear me through my space/time tunnel and I move him up in the rankings… that’s the week they take him out! Figures!
Mike told us that the gameplay got to him. He said, “Even if they tell you the truth, you feel like they're lying. After a while you don't want to talk to anybody.” He added, “In the game, there was not one point in the game where I felt like I was me, the way I usually am,” and, “Nobody truly wants to hang out with you. There's always a motive.”
Mike’s also a bit deluded. He said, “I was open and honest the entire game.” I guess that his stealing of supplies the women had unloaded off the truck in Episode 1 meant that “honest” has a different definition in Washington state (as versus, having no meaning in D.C.)? Even in his interview with us, Mike showed no remorse over his thefts.
Michael represented a serious physical threat in challenges that are not related to his balls on a platter. Michael had to be voted out.
I could be wrong (and often, I am), but if the women have truly taken control of the game as we are being led to believe, then the next few boots seem obvious, even if they may surprise us with the exact sequence. Jay-Troy-Tarzan-Leif seems obvious, but these people haven’t been eating and sleeping properly, so, anything’s possible.
Troyzan’s truly-hidden idol remains the wildcard. If Troy plays his idol on Jay’s behalf next week, they can reduce the female’s advantage to one, but the men still need an ill-considered defection (or, another idol find) to get back on even footing. I remain doubtful, but let’s go a single step further.
Such an idol play should knock out one of the higher-rated females. Troy has worked well with Kim (well, until this week) – will he take her out as a revenge move, or will he go after another strong player, a Kim ally with whom he has had less of a personal connection, such as Sabrina or Chelsea? Food for thought!
What do you think, folks? Do you agree with my most recent cut at these rankings? Let me know at the address below, and I’ll answer you back. There’s one rule, though: THIS IS A SPOILER-FREE SERIES! Please do not send me spoilers!
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Brian has seen every episode of Survivor and wishes he could fill the “old, useless geezer” role for even three days. He can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org. He’d like to hear your opinions and promises to respond to all serious email!
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