The Voice 2, April 10: I Don’t Wanna Cry

Time for the results. Carson wastes little time in announcing that Juliet Simms and Jamar Rogers are safe. That’s the smart way to go. Those two just completely tore the roof off the building last night, separating themselves from the pack by a huge margin. It will be agonizing to pick between the two of them in the semi-finals, but for now, there’s absolutely no suspense when it comes to their victories this week.

The real drama lies in who will get to lose to Juliet and Jamar in the next round. For now, the only one who knows they’ve got one more week on this show is… James Massone. Darn, I was almost perfect. Oh well, five out of six isn’t bad. James had a bad performance, singing off-key and keeping his teeth gritted throughout. At the same time, his entire performance was to establish him as a ladies’ man, so phoning in a boy-band-member-trying-to-go-solo effort was enough to get the screaming girls to dial their phones.

That leaves a sing-off featuring Cheesy – er, I mean Cheesa – the worst singer in the world, and Tony Vincent. One of these things is not like the other ones… In all seriousness, I love Tony Vincent. I saw American Idiot on Broadway last year, but by that point he had left the show, and his role was played by Green Day frontman Billie Joe Armstrong (which was a whole different brand of awesome). However, I do have the cast recording, and Tony is excellent in the role of St. Jimmy. When I heard he was going to be on this show, I was thrilled. I hope he makes it through, especially since he now has a baby to support.

It’s just about time for Adam’s remaining three songstresses to sing for their lives, but first we have to waste two minutes in the social green room for twits sponsored by who gives a damn. Christina Milian tries to justify her existence. She fails. Moving on…

Kim Yarbrough – “Spotlight”

Kim’s biggest problem last night was poor song choice. Just like it was wrong for Naia Kete last week, people need to learn that Adele can’t be touched. She’s leaps and bounds over everyone, and by doing her songs, you’re only inviting negative comparisons. Also, “Rolling in the Deep” has been done to death.

“Spotlight” is a much safer song for Kim’s vocal range, and her performance is technically solid. The problem is that she looks uncomfortable on stage (her face has this weird look between a forced smile and constipation) and it’s clear she’s just phoning this one in. I think she’s relying on Katrina and Karla screwing up. It worked for Jordis last week, but then again, Jordis not advancing on votes was a travesty. Kim doesn’t have nearly as much wiggle room. We’ll see how it works out.

Karla’s another one who didn’t learn from the mistakes last week. For one, leave my future wife Hayley Williams alone! For another, after watching Sera Hill crash and burn on Drake, why would she agree to hyperventilate over bad B.O.B. rap lyrics? I don’t get it.

This performance is an improvement, but then again, singing the ABCs like a kindergartener would have been as well. There are at least notes this time. She’s at least singing. However, the performance smacks of desperation, and Karla attempts way too many frills and bits of improvisation, to the point where she starts to lose the melody itself. I’ll give an A for effort, but that’s about it. If Adam picks her, it’d be a mistake.

During last night’s show, Adam warned Katrina not to attempt to sound like Adele, which was smart. However, she instead tried to sound like a female Billy Corgan, which was not smart. After she was done, the coaches told her she needed to pick a different song and go full throttle with her own voice the next time she performed.

Well, she certainly appears to have taken the advice to heart, because her rendition of this No Doubt classic is completely her own. There are no hints of Gwen Stefani’s vocals anywhere in the performance, just pure, raw Katrina. The pitch wavers occasionally, but I think that can be forgiven due to the absolute passion that radiates throughout the performance. The audience seems to agree, as Katrina is given a standing ovation.

Kim and Karla join Katrina and Carson (can it be Karson just this once for the sake of symmetry and alliteration?) on stage for Adam’s decision. Before he gets his say, however, the other coaches offer their opinions. All three of them agree that Katrina should move forward, with Blake and Christina both noting that while Kim’s performance was the most proficient, Katrina and Karla truly sang with the urgency necessitated by the moment.

Adam offers all three ladies some words of encouragement, noting that millions of people have now seen them perform at their best, which is surreal to say the least. He then impresses upon them the seriousness of the competition, noting that it’s almost impossible to win unless you bring it every week. Even he doubts that he could win this show. Finally, out of respect to all three of them, he says that his decision will not be emotional or drawn out (um, Adam, it kind of already is drawn out). He is making the decision that he feels is best for the team to have success down the road, and that’s Katrina.

As Katrina goes off to celebrate with her family and team, Adam joins his eliminated singers on stage. He hugs them and tells him he loves them, then allows Carson to give them a brief exit interview. Karla gives a shout-out to all the behind-the-scenes people who never get the recognition (or the paychecks – my additional thought) they deserve. Kim is just happy to have had such a wonderful experience.

After another pointless visit to the Christina Milian dungeon of tweets and crappy cell phones, it’s time for Cee Lo’s bottom three to sing for their lives.

Earlier in the show, Cee Lo said that he hoped he did right by his singers. I can safely say that he did a disservice to Tony last night. Throughout the show, Tony has stated that he’s wanted to get away from his Broadway image and focus on being a pop/rock singer. So what did Cee Lo do? He put Tony in a big production number, singing a song with basically no melody, and made him prance around like a dictator of love, or whatever the stupid message was supposed to be.