A Look Inside Survivor Insider, Episode 6

Lindsey – That little Fart: Tom tells all about Lindsey and her nocturnal flatulence. Lindsey apparently has a major problem with gas. Tom says that she farts like a "bay mule." He offers to wash her heinie when they go to the water hole "cause she has to have cheesecake or dingleberries the size of coconuts down there." Lindsey, unoffended by big ole perv's suggestion, tells him not to worry, "They's all dry." Tom repeats her response to the camera. I am not sure if he is referring to her dingle berries or the farts themselves. Tom says Lindsey would fart any man out of bed and talks about how she is a hard one to ride cause she has short hair and it's hard to get a hold of.

Tom goes on to say how much he admires Lindsey for crocheting an ankle bracelet for him. He talks about what a great athlete she is, as proven by the fact that she picked up crocheting so readily from Kelly. Yes, Tom, my Nana was a six-time gold medal crocheter in the Olympics. There is a problem with the ankle bracelet however, Tom hates jewelry and refuses to wear it. Instead he ties it to his belt loop and reaffirms once again what a redneck he is by telling the camera he has an 18-year-old son who he has informed: If you wear a necklace and jewelry and look like you’re a girl and some guy does things to ya cause you look like a girl, don't come running to your daddy." He mentions that Brandon has the same problem with wanting people to treat him like a girl. So although he is proud of Lindsey for making the ankle bracelet, he says he has never tried to look like a girl in 45 years and he sure is not going to start now.

I wouldn't do it to you: Here is where the title to episode 6 comes from. The clip begins with Brandon studying in the firelight. He is memorizing the survival manual because he is 100% positive that the former Boran will be voting for him at tribal council and wants to be prepared in the event that a tie pits him against Tom in a trivia contest. He is also 100% positive that he can beat Tom on anything in the book. Lindsey is still very concerned that the signals given by Kim to Kelly were transmitted correctly and Brandon assures her that Lex thinks Brandon has votes against him. Apparently the Boran have acted very condescending to Brandon. When he talked about the merge they snickered "an evil little snicker." And then something is brought up that makes me realize just how clever the editing on Survivor is. Lindsey asks Brandon, "If 'they' came to you and told you that if you voted me off it would ensure that you went farther into the game, would you do it?" "No way," Brandon says, "I would not do it for the simple fact that I will not look like an ass on television and that's what it comes down to." Lindsey tells him : "No, It comes down to morals and values." All the time that Brandon is talking his voice gets louder and louder like girls at a slumber party. Lindsey tells him he needs to whisper because he is too loud.

Apparently Tom approached Kim and Kelly approached Lindsey and they both asked them to vote off Brandon. Kelly told Lindsey that if she voted off Brandon they would keep her around but if she did not vote off Brandon that she would be the next voted off. Lindsey and Kim both decide that no matter what happens, they will not vote for Brandon. Even if they get voted out next, it does not matter. Brandon tells him he will not even spend time talking about it because "I don't think you would do that to me. I would never do that to you." The editing on television clearly shows Lindsey approaching Kelly but according to this clip it was the other way around. So while Lindsey is being lambasted cross the net for even THINKING of betraying a friend, the truth is she was the one who decided it came down to morals and values, and that is why she could not vote off Brandon. She was guaranteed to go to Merge, assuming merge is next week, something she desperately wanted. She told Brandon, "I just want nine more days here." I don't know why nine but maybe there is a money amount involved and she wanted it.

This little clip makes me wonder just how much Burnett plays God, not only in the changing rules ploy, but what if he decided he did not like Lindsey, for whatever reason. He could edit the footage in such a way that would make Lindsey look like a much bigger bitch than she is in real life. Remember one of the reasons Frank and America began hating Lindsey had to do with her announcing she just started her period on the walk to camp the first day. Carl, at the same time has announced on Insider camera how he had diarrhea and how his buff and pants got messed. He went on to tell us that Linda cleaned them up for him. Frank has announced to his other tribe members that he goes outside his house on a Saturday morning, in the nude, to get his paper. Both of these are the equivalent to Lindsey's period comment, yet neither aired on the show. Continuity-wise, it is obvious. None were central to moving the storyline along, but only Lindsey's was aired. Is this because Burnett decided to make Lindsey be the bad girl? Lex, Tom, Kelly, Kim, Brandon, Silas, and Teresa all have had positive things to say about Lindsey. Frank, and Linda were the only two that spoke negatively about her as an individual.

Frank the sharpshooter: Apparently Frank is an expert bow hunter and the fact that he missed every shot has really got him upset. Clarence tells how Frank spent so much time teaching all the other members how to shoot that he never took the time to practice himself. Ethan, who had never even picked up a bow before that day was the best shooter. Clarence tells the camera that he likes Frank but it's too early to tell if he respects him or not. Frank is a real red-blooded American male who simply wants to be a teacher. Clarence can see why he would get on people's nerves but does not feel that way himself. Frank apparently sowed a few oats in his day and is now embracing familyhood. Frank has a house away from the city, in the woods. Clarence and Kim have been arguing. Kim says that you really can tell what a person is like by their actions on Survivor. Clarence completely disagrees. He does not feel that Survivor is a microcosm of society at large, but just an exaggerated poker game. He explains that if you were playing poker with your friends you might bluff, you might cheat, you might be mean. But when the game is over you still walk away friends.

The students are better than their instructor: Frank talks about how the tribe thought he would make a difference in the immunity challenge since he was the expert bowman. He goes on to describe the game and how he lost and his excellent students won. He, as instructor, did not hit any and he will go home to be ridiculed by family and friends, but it is all OK because he tasted sweet victory. Is this another GOD moment for Burnett? Burnett obviously knew that Frank was an expert bowmen if the rest of the tribe members knew, thus almost guaranteeing a Boran victory over Samburu. If they had a basketball shoot out would anyone be surprised that Clarence won? If they had a contest where you had to crochet a net to catch fish with would anyone be surprised if Kelly won? And I have a feeling that in a contest where they struck needles in the skin until you cried Uncle, Lex would be left standing long after the rest. [Then again, they had a goat herding contest and Tom’s tribe didn’t win. – Ed.] The archery contest combined with the switch saving Franks behind makes me wonder if Burnett is the one deciding who goes farther in this game.

Kim P. (Samburu) knows she is at risk:

(Before the challenge) Kim, still hating Frank, would have liked him to be the one voted off instead of Silas. She will be upset if she realizes Silas was voted out. She will feel bad for him as a person who lost but also because it makes her so vulnerable. She says she has been depressed and stressed that from day one. The younger Samburu have had such difficulties. Frank, she is sure, will stab her in the back as he had done previously. She knows she can get picked off at any given moment and that is bothersome and she gave Lindsey her word that she would protect her, but she worries how she will fare for herself.

Tastes like Ethan:

When the Boran decide to kill the chicken, Frank leads them in the killing and plucking of the chicken. It involves hot drinking water and a hole for blood. Frank chops the neck off and Kim bleeds it in a hole. Frank gives details on how the process goes: While the body is still warm they pluck it, trim it, clean out the innards, tie it up, and cook it. It looks remarkable like a rotisserie chicken at the supermarket. Ethan thanks the earth and thanks the chicken himself. Ethan talks about how good it is. "I have not had much chicken in my life but from what I remember this is good f***king Chicken." As Ethan talks about how good it is, a flock of birds fly overhead and he looks up nervously and then looks at the chicken carcass in his hand. Kim says, "Hmm you don't like that do you." Ethan ignores her and drools a little more.

Kelly must like the cameraman, otherwise why does she talk so much?:

Kelly is trying very hard to play Kim and Lindsey for information and walks a fine line between appearing to be their friends to garner more info and staying true to her original tribe members. She is becoming friends with them and likes having people her own age to talk to, and yet she feels that they are not trustworthy and are probably lying. Lindsey is nice and even though she cries a lot, Kelly really likes her. Lindsey wants the girls to do well in this game. She tells Kelly that Frank, Brandon and Teresa have votes against them and that Silas does not. She is sure it’s all up in the air over at Boran with Kim maybe going into alliance with Teresa. Clarence does not like Ethan and she is worried that Ethan or Kim might be gone. Kelly tells Lindsey that Kim has votes against her, knowing it’s a lie. Kelly is happy that the girls want to form an alliance with her but she is not ready to do the same yet and does not understand why the girls are so trusting. She is playing all the angles she can but she says she does not want to look like she is playing all the angles she can.

Tom NO Thumb:

Right before Tom left for Survivor, a cow stepped on his foot and his toe is all twisted up. The tribe is talking about this and Kelly asks Tom to tell the story of his thumb, because she thinks it's very funny. Tom tells this great story about how his "boy" (assistant) was slicing some pipe with Tom's sharp knife and sliced the thumb right off. The "meat" fell out of his glove and onto the ground and Tom's dog ate the thumb. They went to the hospital and the DR asked Tom where the rest of his thumb was, Tom said, in the truck, in my dog's ass. Brandon looks like he is pain, the girls look awestruck, Kelly is laughing. They removed part of Tom’s upper forearm to make a new thumb tip and Tom tells everyone he was a gunner in a helicopter in Vietnam and that he got shot, when really it's not true. One thought kept going through my mind while watching this clip – I hope Tom's assistant is not African American.

Kim must be sleep walking:

Tribal Council or the lamest excuse for voting somebody out of the tribe:

Brandon: (TOM) "The only reason I am voting like this is because you are the only person I could possibly beat in the questions, but I am probably gone tonight anyway." Tom: (Lindsey) "This is a hard decision but now I will be the only one that has gas every morning." Kelly (Lindsey) "I sure hope this works, I am voting for you for a lot of reasons: 1. I cannot trust you, 2. You’re a much better athlete than me, and 3. Because you cut my sorority" ( this is the absolute WORST reason for voting someone out that I have heard yet). Kim (TOM) "Big Bear I will miss you a lot and I hope I can come out to see you at your farm I would really like that I and I have learned a lot from you." Lex: (Lindsey) "You're a super cool chick and its been great getting to know these past few days in my new tribe you but it's time for you to go." Lindsey (TOM) "I hate this game, I hate having to vote for this person, I would rather vote for myself because this is miserable."

Peggy Keller is Mother and Behavior Therapist to her two autistic sons and teenage daughter.

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