American Idol 6, March 27 – No Doubt About It

The final ten contestants are ready to perform for us. This week’s theme will be songs by Gwen Stefani, No Doubt, and bands that have inspired her. Ryan provides a quick introduction to pop superstar Gwen Stefani. She says that the artists she loves aren’t so much known for big voices as they are for personality, style, and so on. She is excited for the Idols and can’t wait to see who’ll win.

LaKisha will be up first. Gwen says she was so excited by LaKisha that she was “sweaty.” Gwen says LaKisha has a dynamic voice and that she should be asking LaKisha for advice.

LaKisha looks good in a dress with a wrap top. She’s singing “Last Dance” by Donna Summer. We haven’t heard LaKisha sing anything so up tempo before, and she’s definitely pulling it off. I like seeing her do such a fun song. Very entertaining and a good start.

Randy: Randy also notes that it was fun to see her do something different. She was “a true fly diva.”

Paula: Donna Summer is a tough artist, and LaKisha did her proud.

Simon: Simon loves her boots and says she is “thirty years younger this week.” He says she’s back with great vocals and a fun performance.

LaKisha’s friends from the bank where she used to work are in the audience. I am still amazed that this woman with this huge voice was working in a bank not so long ago!

Chris Sligh is on the hot seat with Ryan, ready to answer a lame question from the Idol website. How does Chris spend his downtime? He says he doesn’t have much time, but he likes to knit, crochet, and play the bongos in his boxers. Then, he admits that he just tries to get enough sleep so he can stay healthy. He says they work every day and it can be tiring.

Chris is going to sing “Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic” by The Police. Gwen says he needs to be careful of his tempo, as he was off during rehearsal.

Gwen, as it turns out, is right. Chris’s voice sounds good, but he is off the beat at times. There are a heck of a lot of words in the song, so I’m sure it’s hard to pull it off. He sounds out of breath, too. Chris really is pretty awful this week. His personality has netted him lots of fans, but how long can he stick around by saying, “I’ll be better next time! Thanks for your feedback”?

Randy: Good song choice, but Randy agrees that Chris was way ahead of the band. Chris says it’s his first time trying to sing the song, it was hard, but he did the best. He admits it wasn’t quite right.

Paula: She says that her biggest criticism of Chris all season is that he tends to get off tempo. It’s distracting for the audience.

Simon: “It was a mess.” If this were the first time Simon had heard Chris, he wouldn’t have been impressed. The song didn’t suit him or represent him well. Simon objects when the music plays over him. “Not the Oscars,” Simon says.

Ryan asks Chris if he reconsidered his song choice. Chris says it’s a great song, but hard to get. “It was my bad,” he says. Chris asks us to please vote for him. I think lots of people want to, Chris, but you’ve got to sing better, buddy!

Gina Glocksen, Ryan tells us, is “a bit of a wreck.” Gina loves Gwen Stefani and is totally freaking out at the chance to meet her. Gwen says that Gina did a good job of controlling her voice.

Gina is singing “I’ll Stand By You.” She sounds about a million times better than she did last week, that’s for sure. There are, however, a few places where I really expected her to belt it and she didn’t. I think this was a middle of the pack performance.

Randy: He loves Gina’s boots and thinks it was one of her best performances ever. It was a perfect song for her.

Paula: Gina is improving every week, looks fantastic, and chose a song that showed some vulnerability. It was her best so far.

Simon: Not one of her best performances, but rather her best performance. She knew who she was and picked the right song. The difference between her this week and a few weeks ago was “literally chalk and cheese.” He says it was the best of the night.

Gina is absolutely in tears. A little praise from Simon will really make that girl happy.

Sanjaya is going to sing No Doubt’s “Bathwater.” Gwen thinks he’s nervous, because he’s been forgetting the words. She says it’s a hard song and “good luck to him.” I get the distinct impression that Gwen was not remotely impressed by Sanjaya, and I respect the fact that she didn’t try to candy coat it.

Sanjaya’s hair is in new heights of oddness. It’s teased up into a fauxhawk. He looks absolutely ridiculous, like a radioactive chicken. His singing is, if you can believe it, even worse than the hair. The song is totally kicking his ass. He absolutely doesn’t have the attitude to pull it off and is dropping lyrics all over the place. His tempo problems are even worse than Chris’s. It’s even worse than last week’s laughable performance of The Kinks.

Randy: “I’m speechless every time.” He thinks the hair is “interesting.” He can sing, but he’s not showing it.

Paula: If he had the gumption to “just totally go for it,” he could match is look with the song, but he just doesn’t pull it all together. Paula seems really frustrated and is uncharacteristically negative. “How hard is it,” she wonders.

Simon: “I presume there was no mirror in your dressing room tonight.” Sanjaya jokes that Simon is just jealous because he couldn’t pull of the look, which Simon agrees with. Simon says it doesn’t matter what the judges say anymore. “People like you… good luck.”

Ryan admires the seven tiny ponytails that make up Sanjaya’s hair. Sanjaya says he thought it’d be fun. Ryan jokes that there are seven reasons to vote for him, eight if you include the song. You know you’re not doing so well when even Ryan is a bit snarky.

Haley is going to sing “True Colors.” Gwen says it was great at first, but then she put a whole lot of unnecessary melody into it. She needs to tone it down.

Haley learned from last week and looks totally hot in a short black dress. She sounds good, but it’s boring, especially compared to the other performances we’ve seen this week. She’s not laughably bad like Sanjaya, but there’s nothing exciting about it. As Randy may say in a few minutes, there is no “yo” to it. Seriously, why would you dress and sing like Mariah Carey on Gwen Stefani night? This is a chance to be funky and cool. I think Haley just isn’t a funky or cool girl.

Randy: It started rough and got better. It was just okay.

Paula: It’s a beautiful song, and all you need to do is sing the melody and be vulnerable. She thinks Haley should have sounded younger and more contemporary.

Simon: He asks Haley how she did. She’s happy with it, but Simon thinks it was “sweet, but forgettable.” The audience yells opposition, but Simon says it was “too safe.”

Now it’s time for a dumb internet question for Phil. How does it feel to become a household name “in a matter of weeks”? Phil says they’re so busy, it’s hard to get the impact of it. Ryan jokes that he’s doing it for the money. Phil is going to sing “Every Breath You Take.” Gwen says she’s “pleasantly surprised” at how good Phil sounds. She advises that he stick to the melody.