American Idol 6, March 28 – End It On This

It’s time to get rid of another singer. Sanjaya’s hair is back to normal, you’ll be happy to know. Ryan, however, has a ponyhawk wig. That’s so, so, so wrong. Randy is hilariously dumbstruck. Gwen Stefani is back tonight to perform (with Akon, though Ryan doesn’t mention that.) First, though, a recap of last night.

This week’s theme was Gwen Stefani, or people who inspired her, or pick a song and we’ll figure out a way to tie it in. Jordin was still adorable and awesome despite her flaws with “Hey Baby.” Chris Richardson was kind of boring with “Don’t Speak,” and I think this might be it for him Chris Sligh sang “Every Little Thing She Does is Magic” and couldn’t stay on the beat, while Phil sang “Every Breath You Take” and didn’t come across like a creepy stalker.

LaKisha and Melinda sang Donna Summer in bright dresses. Haley sang “True Colors,” and I liked it better than most people did. Blake sang the Cure’s “Love Song,” but not really, since it was the bad 311 cover. By the way, thank you to the person who called me right before Blake’s performance and managed to have a conversation with me that didn’t end until he was done singing, so I didn’t actually hear it. Gina showed the true extent of her awesomeness with “I’ll Stand By You.” Sanjaya and that thing on his head made us want to drown in our “Bathwater.”

This week’s commercial is a western. The song is “I Fought the Law.” Jordin and Chris Richardson stand off, but Jordin wins because the others come up in Fords and Chris just has a horse. Poor horsie. Chris winds up washing cars. Works for me.

Ryan announces that he’s sending the three singers with the lowest number of votes to center stage. Blake is safe. LaKisha is safe. Phil wasn’t able to save himself (though I thought he had) and is in the bottom three. Melinda is safe, of course. Chris Richardson and his… Cub Scout uniform, I think, are safe. So much for my predictions.

Sanjaya is safe. Don’t make me come over there, America. Haley is in the bottom three. We’re left with Jordin, Gina, and Chris Sligh awaiting their fates. Jordin is safe, so either Gina or Chris is in the bottom three with Phil and “Stacey.” I thought Simon was the one who couldn’t remember Haley’s name.

After commercials, Ryan corrects himself on Haley’s name, then tells us we’ll hear who else is in the bottom three after Gwen and Akon’s performance. And also after the trivia question, which is, again, ridiculously easy. (Psssst! The answer is B!) Ryan tells us that a big gas company is donating to Idol Gives Back. They haven’t given me anything, though, so I’m keeping it generic.

Gwen, Akon, and some Japanese schoolgirls perform “The Sweet Escape.” I’m just glad it’s not “Wind it Up,” which I hate. I have to say that until last night, I didn’t realize how gorgeous Gwen is. And if you haven’t seen photos of her son, Kingston, I encourage you to find some because he’s adorable. Akon looks like he’s having the time of his life.

Ryan chats with Gwen about her upcoming tour (she’s taking Akon and Kingston along). She’s also going to be involved with Idol Gives Back. After some more commercials, we’ll get our results.

Ryan tells Chris and Gina to stand. Gina is safe, and Chris is in the bottom three. Seems about right to me - I think his fan base is getting tired of him. Ryan tells us he’ll send someone back to safety right away. He first aims at Haley, then tells Phil to return to his seat.

Randy says it’s a tough call. Paula, who I think is modeling her clothes after Gwen, babbles something about warmth from the audience. Simon thinks it’s “‘bye-‘bye, Curly.”

Ryan cuts to the chase: Haley is safe, and it’s goodbye to Sligh. Wow, I really didn’t think that would happen so quickly. I can’t say I’m sad - his humor was starting to wear thin. Still, he was a much better singer than a number of people left (you know who you are), and I don’t think he should have gone so soon. On the plus side, we don’t have to call use the Chrises’ last initials anymore. Anyway, funeral video! Chris’ wife cries. Sligh gets a sing-out, and he’s still not on the beat.

Next week, the theme is the music of Tony Bennett.? Seriously?

Jenn Brasler is an Assistant Editor of Reality News Online and an aspiring writer from Falls Church, Virginia. By day she works for a court reporting firm, and by night she’s a spy for a covert branch of the CIA. You can e-mail her at luckyjenn@hotmail.com. This week, Jenn would have either sung “Just a Girl” or wrestled “Don’t Speak” away from Chris.

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