American Idol 6, April 10 – I Saved Latin. What Did You Ever Do?

It’s Latin music night on American Idol, and to be honest, I’m dreading it. Remember when Gloria Estefan was the musical mentor? That episode showed that only a very small segment of singers can pull of this style of music. Everyone struggled, and if memory serves, only Diana Degarmo was any good. I think we’re in for a rough night.

Hey, and while I’m making predictions, I’ll make a few more, before the show starts. Either Chris Richardson or Blake Lewis will sing “Smooth,” and either way, it’ll be a good performance. Haley will stretch the definition of “Latin music” by performing a boring ballad that happens to be by a Latin artist – maybe something by Christina Aguilera. Sanjaya will dress and dance like Pee Wee Herman to “Tequila,” and even though the song only has one word, which is not sung so much as shouted, he won’t even crack the bottom three. Melinda will work it out, but the night will belong to Jordin, who will be absolutely amazing and will bring down the house.

Or maybe I’ll be totally wrong. Let’s find out!

Ryan welcomes us, the contestants, the band, and the judges. He says the show will be spectacular, thanks to mentor Jennifer Lopez. Her talents include music, dancing, and picking out incredibly hot Versace dresses to wear to the Grammies. Jennifer greets the top eight. She says they all have different styles, which makes it interesting to watch. She says the key to Latin music is “the passion.” She tells them they need to give everybody goosebumps, which doesn’t necessarily mean hitting the high notes. It’s more about the whole performance. She says that she and her husband Skeletor watch Idol, and that she has favorites. Who are they? She’s not saying.

Melinda is up first with the song “Sway.” Melinda says she’s really excited. Jennifer says that Melinda was “sultry and sexy,” which hadn’t come across on the show before. Jennifer tells her to work it, and Melinda seems a bit scared. She says that’ll be her biggest challenge because, “I’m so not sexy.”

Melinda is wearing a black dress that’s the best thing we’ve seen her in yet. Her hair is also adorable, really feathery. She definitely has the chops to pull off the song, but she’s not exactly Jennifer Lopez sexy. Her attempts at sultriness seem to largely amount to squinting. But with that voice, who cares? This performance is going to be tough to beat.

Randy: He was wondering what she’d do this week. It was a solid performance, but not necessarily her best. He liked her Cecilia Cruz vibe.

Paula: Smooth and sultry. She was subtle, sexy, and beautiful.

Simon: “I didn’t like it.” He says the song is all about personality and it was “lounge-cabaret.” It was lazy and wooden, not the “wow factor” she needs to put on every week.

Ryan asks Melinda if she was worried about Simon’s reaction. She says that she’s glad he got the chance to say something bad. Very funny, and the crowd loves it. Ryan says, “Simon, you’ve come home.”

LaKisha gets one of this week’s softball questions. What made her try out for Idol? LaKisha says that she wanted to provide a better life for herself and her daughter, and that she knows she has God-given talent.

Jennifer Lopez coaches LaKisha on how to pronounce “conga,” since she’ll be singing “Conga.” Good coaching, JLo! She also teaches LaKisha how to not overdo, to “ride the rhythm.” She also shows her some dance moves.

LaKisha comes out in a sultry red dress and a ton of cleavage. She dances through the audience and seems to stumble a bit on those super high heels. This seems like a really hard song to sing, since the beat is so fast. It’s a fun performance, but not a wow.

Randy: She had a good time. “That was hot, baby!”

Paula: Paula compliments her dress, but didn’t like it as much as Randy did. She thought it was safe. Now is the time to bring out the very best.

Simon: Simon asks if she agrees with Paula. LaKisha says it was outside her comfort zone, what with all of the dancing, so she doesn’t really agree with Paula. But Simon does. It’s not a singer’s song. LaKisha was having fun, but was the audience at home? He agrees that it was safe, then adds that LaKisha may have danced, but it wasn’t very good.

Ryan says he’d like to see Simon try to dance like that. That argument never impresses me, since I don’t believe I have ever heard Simon claim to be able to sing or dance.

Chris is going to sing “Smooth,” and Jennifer corrects his Spanish pronunciation. She also thinks he’s singing too low, so has him take it to a different key. She thinks that’ll make a big difference.

Chris is singing with musicians on the stage with him, which is good fun. The background music really overwhelms him at times, and he just never really seems that into the performance. It’s nothing to get excited about.

Randy: Chris found himself at the end and added some runs, which was “very cool.”

Paula: “It was a hot, hot performance.”

Simon: It wasn’t the best vocal he’s ever heard, but he preferred it to the first two because it felt more contemporary, less “hotel cabaret.”

Ryan wonders if Chris was worried about what the judges would say. Chris says he always is.

Haley is going to sing “Turn the Beat Around.” Jennifer tells her to “bite the words” and sing it fast. They summon Blake to help her find the beats. Jennifer says it’s almost a rap.

Haley knows her strengths, which is why she’s wearing incredibly short. She starts off key right away and seems far more focused on striding purposefully across the stage than on actually singing. She’s off key and off tempo. It’s really a big old mess, especially compared to the job Diana Degarmo did with this song. Great shoes, though.

Randy: “Really karaoke.” It could have been in any bar.

Paula: It was a fun song, and Haley had fun.

Simon: Her tactic of wearing as little clothing as possible is working for her. She can’t win based on her voice, so all she can do is have fun. The camera lovingly pans across her miles of legs. Her vocals were so rushed Simon couldn’t understand her.

How does she want to respond? She says she appreciates the judges’ feedback. She had fun and got the audience going.

Phil is going to sing “Maria, Maria,” and says that he is blown away by the fact that Jennifer Lopez was right there. She told him to sing it again with someone special in mind to get into the right mindset of the song. She shows him her goosebumps. That might be because he was trying to feast upon her soul to support his legions of undead.