Dancing with the Stars 4, April 16: Raise Your Game or Face Your Shame!

Hello dance fans! Welcome to another exciting week of fancy footwork! Jill’s off celebrating her birthday (Happy Birthday, Jill!) so I’m taking a break from my usual judging to bring you this week’s action. Last week saw the end of the road for Leeza & Tony, but the rest of our stars and their professional partners are raring to go. And so is my faithful sidekick, my dog Ally!

Tom recaps last week for us, and reminds us that there are only two women remaining, Laila and Heather. Samantha promises the sexiest dances ever. Tom and Samantha introduce the remaining couples. We’re at the halfway point of the competition and all six men still remain. The judges have demanded more training, more polish, and (clearly, Tom says) more skin.

Tonight’s dances are the “scintilling” (I think Samantha means “scintillating” but who am I to say) samba or the romantic rumba. But first, Len gives us some tips to what we should be looking for.

Known as the party dance, the roots of the samba lie in the Brazilian carinvale. Look for sizzling hip movements, rhythmical forward walks, and samba rolls.

Called the dance of romance, in the rumba the woman entices and withdraws from her partner. Look for slow seductive movements, rope spins, and sensual rumba walks.

There apparently was a technical difficulty with the phone numbers when the couples walked down the stairs, so Tom introduces a list of the correct numbers. That may be the fastest catch of a technical error in the history of reality TV!

Up first this week are Ian & Cheryl, dancing the samba. They work hard in rehearsal but Ian has some trouble with the arm shimmy. He feels some of the moves are too feminine for him but Cheryl tells him it’s all dancing and interpreting the music before they take a break. Cheryl walks out, frustrated. When she returns they decide they are a team and they will get through this.

I have no idea what the name of this song is, but Ian & Cheryl look great. Their moves are so fluid and clean. Wow Ian’s got some hip motion going! He seems to have come to terms with the arm movements. These two look great together and they end with Cheryl bent in half like a pretzel.

Tom gives the band a shout out and Harold Wheeler looks quite happy tonight as Tom turns to the judges. Len says since week one they have come up with competent performances and he’s looking for the next level. Their technique, footwork, and excitement need work.

Bruno says this week Ian went for the hip action and looked like a power tool sometimes. It was an improvement but now he has to put all of the elements together and come out and just hit us and have a good time. Carrie Ann liked the shimmy but she thinks Ian tends to underestimate himself. He thinks too much and needs to project more confidence.

Backstage, Samantha says Ian wanted to be the first to get a 10 this season, but last week Joey got a 10, and then things got a little tense at rehearsal this week. Is that why? What kind of question is that? Ian says that every couple throughout history has argued—Fred & Ginger, Ricky & Lucy, Tom & Jerry—but it just means they care. If they didn’t squabble they wouldn’t care. They’re both very passionate and they both want to win, so they come together and hammer it out.

Carrie Ann gives them an eight, as does Len, and Bruno too! Ian & Cheryl have a total of 24.

Clyde & Elena are dancing the rumba this week. They made a trip to China this week and Tom asks whether Clyde returned with a yen for the rumba. Clyde & Elena stood out in China and managed to fit in time to rehearse between public appearances. Wow!

Elena has some kind of feather tail this week. I’m not a fan, sorry. Clyde moves very slowly and though Elena is trying, it’s hard to call this a dance at all really. He’s pretty much just walking all over the stage as Cheryl dances around him.

Bruno starts by saying, “Oh my God!” which about sums it all up. He knows Clyde is a gentleman, but it was so polite and sanitized it was like a rumba under an anesthetic. And then at the end they did a lift! He finishes by saying, as Len would say; the footwork was not his best. Carrie Ann apologizes as she says she is going to be very frank. She declares Clyde the worst dancer in the competition to a chorus of boos. Tonight was really bad and he’s so charming, but there wasn’t anything to the routine. She also chastises him about breaking the “no lifts” rule.

Len says he thought it was better than either of the other two judges. He knows Clyde had a tough week, and his footwork wasn’t good, but he thinks Clyde came out this time and really tried to show us a proper rumba. Len appreciates that. Tom plugs the results show tomorrow night.

Samantha says they just got back from China and asks how difficult it was to find the time to train. Clyde says it was very difficult but everyone has their challenges and has to travel. It wasn’t their best but they gave it their all. Elena says the move at the end wasn’t supposed to be a lift, it was supposed to be a pose but due to the length of Clyde’s legs it turned into a lift, and she’s sorry. She has a great point!

Carrie Ann gives them a four, Len gives them a five, and Bruno gives them a four. Clyde & Elena have a total of 13.

Tom welcomes us back and says there is something oddly disturbing about what our next couple did this week. This is supposed to be a family show so he warns anyone with a more delicate constitution to look away. Up next we have Heather & Jonathan. Heather uses a lint roller on Jonathan’s chest. OK then.

During rehearsal Jonathan tells Heather and the samba is one of the faster Latin dances. There is lots of wiggling, lots of bum shaking, and lots of energy changes. It’s really quick. Heather loves the Latin dances. She puts her hand on his chest and realizes that it is very hairy. He’s the only dancer with a hairy chest and she feels that in order to compete they will have to get rid of the hair. She drags him into the bathroom where there is someone waiting to wax his chest. Wow. I get my eyebrows waxed once every three months and that’s enough pain for me. Jonathan is brave! When they hand Jonathan a mirror, there is a big “H” in the middle of his chest. Ha!

Heather & Jonathan’s outfits are very nicely coordinated and Heather plays up the lack of chest hair by stroking his chest several times. She certainly shakes her hips around but I’m not wowed by the performance. Don’t get me wrong, it’s awesome that Heather can get up there and do what she does, but it doesn’t do much for me. At the end of the dance she tries standing on her fake leg with her other leg on Jonathan’s chest and falls down. But it’s a very graceful fall.

Carrie Ann says there is a lot going through her mind. The fact that Heather fell at the end reminds her how wonderful it is that she can compete as well as she has. Carrie Ann says she does have to take off a point for the fall, and she recommends that Heather take ballet lessons to build up her strength. Len says he wouldn’t take any points off for anything Heather did tonight. She came out and really sold it, great hip work, a great performance. Bruno says Heather was in “disco diva” mode tonight. He says she was having fun and agrees with Carrie Ann that she should take ballet lessons to work on her upper body and frame.