The Real World: Denver, Episode 26—The Serial Dater Strikes Again

As the roommates return from Outward Bound, Colie greets them. She tells Brooke that a cute guy named Justin called her. Who is this guy? Have we met him yet? Colie says that she has been called a “serial dater” in the past. We’re then treated to a montage of shots of her with various guys. Nice. Colie interviews that she and Alex are not going to hook up again.

Davis finds out from his sister that she and his mom are going to visit him for his birthday. He’s shocked because he doesn’t have a very good relationship with his mom. She has basically said some hurtful things about his sexual orientation.

Colie goes out with Adam; he’s the guy who quit his job at Outward Bound so that they could be together. They seem to play with each other’s hands a lot when they’re together.

The other roommates go to a club with some of Stephen and Tyrie’s friends. Much drinking and butt shaking ensues.

Colie and Adam go to the house and talk. She wants him to stay over, but he won’t. She tells us that they aren’t clicking the way she wants them to. In other words, they aren’t having sex and she’s upset about it.

Alex returns home and he’s loaded. He flirts with Colie and they end up in bed together. She tells us that according to Bill Clinton, oral sex isn’t really sex and that she gets all of her advice about sex from Bill. Hey, they don’t call him Slick Willie for nothing! Am I right?

The next morning, Alex worries that he and Colie had sex. He then begins to think back through the previous evening’s activities and realizes that nothing happened. Tyrie sees Alex and says that Colie isn’t in her room. Tyrie then understands where she’s at and he refers to Alex as an SOB. The two of them wake her up.

Davis and Alex talk about Colie, and Alex says he put the breaks on things before they did too much. Oh, but she did take care of his needs. Apparently, he takes advice on sex from Bill as well.

Davis reads an e-mail message that his mom sent to him earlier. He doesn’t like the fact that she makes him feel like he isn’t a Christian because he doesn’t believe the same things she believes.

The roommates learn where they are going on vacation. It turns out they’re going to Thailand. I am angry! I’ve always wanted to ride an elephant through a jungle in Thailand and now the roommates will have a chance to do it! I’ve recapped this crap all season long; the least MTV could do is send me to Thailand. Sigh. I’m done with the self-pity party. Back to the show…

Brooke is confused; she doesn’t know if they are going to Thailand or Taiwan. At least she knows that the country is in Asia. She and Davis continue their geography lesson and I notice her top is blurred out. Can you say, “see-through?”

Guess what? The roommates go out. Colie finds out that Alex told everyone about what happened between the two of them. She then tells Brooke about the time her parents left her alone at home and she panicked. She basically attributes this to needing someone in her bed with her.

Colie meets up with Justin; he’s a male model. Why can’t people just refer to male models as models? Anyway, Justin and Colie begin to kiss. Everyone goes to the house and she straddles Justin on a chair while everyone stands around uncomfortably. Nasty. Brooke, the little exhibitionist that she is, talks to Davis while in her towel. She says that she doesn’t like to hear people have sex.

Colie says that while she and Justin are physical with one another, there is more to their relationship than that. Um, when did this become a relationship? She asks Stephen and Tyrie what they thought about Justin’s looks. Tyrie says that he will never call a man cute. She declares that she will do whatever she wants since she is only 22 years old. That isn’t a healthy attitude, so hopefully she’ll change her tune as she grows older.

Davis picks his mom and sister up from the airport. He cries as he hugs his mother. In the car, his mom asks if he has said negative things about her to the roommates. He hasn’t; he has only said the truth. She buys him a digital camera for his birthday. His sister looks bored the entire time.

Davis drops his family off at a hotel and then meets up with the roommates at a club to celebrate his birthday. Some woman licks his chest; someone else kisses him; Brooke kisses him.

He calls his mom at 11:30 AM; he was supposed to call her at 9:00 AM. She isn’t happy and says that she can go to the airport without him. That was a short trip! Perhaps it is for the best. She ends up allowing him to take her and his sister though.

Next week, the roommates go to Thailand; Colie gets drunk and tells Alex off; she also hooks up with some random guy.

And now for some Weekly Observations:

• Colie is a smart woman, but she needs to think more clearly about matters of the heart and the hoo ha.
• We never found out about Brooke’s bowling date.
• I’m a bitter person when it comes to people other than myself traveling to Thailand.

Now you know who the horny roommate was. Are you surprised? Will I make it through the rest of the season without having to type the word “horny” again? Join me next week to find out!

Jill is an east coast mama who loves sharks, zombie movies, and reality television. She welcomes your comments about these and other subjects, and can be reached at jilljones@verizon.net.