Celebrity Fit Club: Men vs. Women Episode 4: Chill Out

Previously on I’m a Fat Celebrity, Get Me Outta Here, the celebs hit a plateau, and Screech threatened to quit in order to get more airtime. Yeah, like we’d believe he would quit for real.

As promised, Fit Camp is in the Rockies this week. The eight celebs, including Screech, arrive at the Keystone Resort in Keystone, Colorado. Before the Fit Camp challenge, though, is a little bit of business. That’s right, it’s time for the switcheroo. The person voted off each team will take their weight loss with them, unlike past seasons where previous numbers stayed with the original teams.

The celebs vote, and the women reveal first. Maureen voted for Kim. Kim voted for Tiffany because of her difficulty with the kayaking. Tiffany also voted for Kim, which surprises Kim a little. Brat’s vote was for Maureen, so Kim is no longer red captain. Now for the men. Screech voted for Ross because he and Maureen are such good friends. Ross returns the favor, worrying about Screech keeping his end of the bargain. If his name were Dreamz, I’d really be worried. Anyway, Screech seems to be okay with that. Cledus also voted for Screech, as did Warren, who wants him to make amends with Brat. Brat doesn’t like that, since she feels Screech won’t cooperate.

Kim and Screech trade places. Screech vows to change his eating habits for his girls. Ross shares his muff with Kim. Now it’s time for another twist. This season, the two traded celebs get to pull another former teammate to their side. Screech sticks with his vote and picks Ross. Kim keeps Screech’s enemies far away and picks Brat. ANT is curious about Kim not picking Maureen, since her numbers are so good. Kim reasons that with Da Brat, the new blue team is now much more athletic than the new red team. This inspires Ross to rename the team as The Athletes.

Kim has had a bad week, which we’ll hear more about later. Getting voted off did sting a little, but she sees it as a blessing in disguise, since Screech is still not on the same team. Screech says something as well, but I can’t really understand him.

The challenge is, of course, a medley of snow sports: cross-country skiing, snowshoeing, and tube riding. The clock stops only when the last teammate crosses the finish line, so teamwork is very important. The prize is a snowboard and a whole bunch of winter gear.

After some practice on the skis, The Regulators are first to run. Cledus finishes the ski run quickly, but all four Regulators find trouble changing to the snowshoes in the frigid conditions. Kim helps Cledus with his shoes, and they’re off again. Once again, Cledus kicks butt. ANT tells Kim that she “can catch [her] breath when [she’s] dead.” Uh, that joke doesn’t really make sense. Cledus helps Kim take off her snowshoes, and they tube it to the finish line. They finish with a time of 10:03.

The Athletes run second, but not before Screech gets cocky. They’re off, and Screech zooms out ahead early on. Then he falls, and the Regulators can’t stop laughing. The team starts snowshoeing, albeit separately. Maureen is having trouble putting on her shoes, so her boyfriend Ross comes back to help her. How can you not like them? After such a promising start, Screech’s snowshoes keep falling off, setting him back. Almost unsurprisingly, no one helps him out. However, when Maureen hits a snag, Screech gives her a hand. Maybe he’s not so bad when he isn’t talking. The Athletes tube down the final stretch as a team, but it’s not enough. They finish with a time of 10:49, giving the snowboards to the Regulators.

It’s Day 44, but they’re not at the usual CWAP station. Instead, they’re at the Keystone Ranch Restaurant. Also, the giant scales didn’t make the trip, either. Can’t say I’ll miss them. Dr. Ian Smith, Stacy Kaiser, and Harvey Walden IV are there, though, and that’s what matters.

Cledus T. Judd is the first to weigh in, and he looks really good! Last time, he weighed 197 pounds and received a weight loss target of 4 lbs. This week, Cledus almost doubles his target, weighing in at 190 lbs. No wonder he looks so good! That appearance, however, came at the price of getting sick. Cledus found it hard to work out on the bus trip, so he would get off the bus, let the bus drive a mile ahead, then run to the bus. In the cold weather, too. Stacy knows that’s not healthy. Still, Cledus says he’ll run beside an airplane to lose weight. He won’t get in it, but he’ll run by it. All Harvey has to say is that Cledus should aim for 3 lbs. lost next time.

Ross “the Intern” Mathews is next. For a guy who says he was picked after the last kid on the playground, we learn that he has been picked as the Athletes’ team captain. He totally deserves it. Last time, he weighed 198 lbs. and received a target of 4 lbs. He had the same target as Cledus, and also lost the same amount of weight! Ross weighs 191 lbs., and says he hasn’t been 191 since he went past 191. That’s it, I am so man-crushing on him. Ross once told Stacy that he worries about losing too much weight, fearing he won’t be funny anymore. Ross realizes that he’ll never lose his identity, which is non-threatening, fun, and nice. He’ll keep that identity even as a “chiseled love-machine.” Yep, he’s still funny! Stacy also asks if his new body will open new doors. Ross doesn’t think so professionally, but does think so personally. Brat thinks this means getting more dates. Ross says, “Not more dates, just sleeping with more people.” Ah, the Daniel Meade way of life. What’s not funny is Harvey’s target assignment: 4 lbs.

It’s time for former captain Kimberley Locke. Last time, she weighed 165 lbs. and received a target of 5 lbs. Weighing in at 160 lbs. this week, she accomplished her mission! The news isn’t all good, however. Kim’s grandmother passed away. On New Year’s Eve. And she was buried on Kim’s birthday. Ouch, triple whammy! Kim is very visibly hurt by the loss, and she didn’t even want to come to Fit Club. Stacy reminds Kim to just feel and not bottle it up. Harvey asks about the vote off situation. Once again, Kim calls the vote a blessing in disguise, since she’s still not with Screech. I don’t think it will make all that much difference. Her target for next time is 4 lbs.