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Celebrity Fit Club: Men vs. Women Episode 5 – The Forbidden Dance

by Tyler Sandersfeld -- 05/22/2007
There really isn’t anything I have to say in this teaser. All you have to know is that Dustin “Screech” Diamond goes WAY too far in this episode. So far that he almost gets wailed on by Harvey (right). Read on if you dare.

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Previously on Rocky Mountain High Road, Dustin was actually somewhat pleasant. How long will that last? Please don’t ask.

We start this episode on day 64 at the Granada Dance Studio. World class instructor Enio Cordoba and his staff will teach the celebs some moves for a dance marathon Fit Camp. If all goes well, this could be the most fun Fit Camp ever. Then again, Screech is still here. After some rigorous training, the eight look like good auditions for Dancing with the Stars. Well, all except for Maureen, anyway. She’s busier at the bar, downing some shots of vodka. I’m not sure I’d go for that, but I know plenty of people who can dance the night away with a little buzz in their systems. We’ll just have to see.

After Ross, Kim, and Cledus have some near-raunchy fun, it’s time for the challenge. Each team will split up into couples. If anyone stops dancing at any time, their duo is out. The last remaining couple will win for their team. In the case of a tie, Enio will choose a winner based on which couple showed the best technique. The prize this week is for charity. The winning team’s charity will receive $12,000 worth in toys, child car seats, night lights, etc. I have a sneaking suspicion that the losing team’s charity will also get some goods. Ross chooses A Chance for Children, while Warren goes with St. Jude’s Childrens’ Hospital. The couples for the Athletes are Screech and Tiffany and Ro-Mo, naturally. For the Regulators, Cledus and Kim will dance alongside Warren and Da Brat.

And they’re off! They start off well, although ANT cites Maureen for a DUI–Dancing Under the Influence. They keep dancing well into the second hour. The celebs finally feel the fatigue at the 90-minute mark. When Screech takes a drink of water, he spills some on his shirt. He stops for a second to wipe it off, and that’s a definite stop. ANT calls Screech and Tiffany eliminated. Guess what? Screech calls the call BS. I knew the kinder, less annoying Dustin couldn’t last long. I mean they previewed it enough.

Backstage, Screech is fuming, completely overshadowing anything Tiffany is trying to say. He even says he’ll challenge ANT to physical combat. Oh, please. With all the hubbub, the marathon ends for everyone prematurely. Ross assures Screech that the call does not signify the end of the world. Screech once again brings up “truth and logic,” three words that now just hurt me whenever I hear them.

Amidst all the controversy, the winning decision will come down to Enio choosing the pair with the best moves. Enio was most impressed by Cledus and Kim, so the Regulators win. However, since the prize is for children, both charities will get the donations. Honestly, who didn’t see that coming?

looooong CWAP-in. Just wait. First, let’s weigh Da Brat in. Last time, Brat weighed 161 lbs. and was the only celeb not to lose at least half of her original goal. She also made a bet that she could lose 7 lbs. for this weigh-in. She makes it, and ANT and Ian will each pay her $100. If she hits eight, Harvey will throw in a Benjamin. Anything less, and she’ll pay everyone. Be glad you’re not ANT, Ian, or Harvey. Brat weighs 153 lbs., not counting the $300 she just won. Ian is still wondering why it took his money to motivate Brat to lose weight. Despite Brat insisting that it was Ian’s decision to go in on the bet, Ian is still proud of Brat for having a good week after a number of snags. Harvey, however, cannot stop smiling, even after losing his hundred. Brat enjoyed taking his money and making his day. So did I. With just a week between weigh-ins, Brat’s target is a mere two lbs.

Tiffany is next. Last time, Tiffany weighed 137 lbs., and she received a weight loss target of 4 lbs. She weighs in at 137 lbs. again, but she’s not really surprised. She admits to not eating, which is an integral part of Ian’s diet. Stacy has noticed Tiffany lose her temper in the past, referencing the kayak and dancing Fit Camps. Tiffany admits to being angry at the elimination call because she hadn’t stopped dancing, but she has cooled off since then. Even with the decreased time between weigh-ins, Tiffany’s target is 4 lbs. once again.

It’s Cledus T. Judd’s turn, and I must say he is looking pretty spiffy. In fact, we even see his progression from blond hair, pink glasses, and a scraggly goatee to brown hair, no glasses, and a smooth goatee. Oh, and he got some cosmetic surgery, too. He also used to weigh 190 lbs. With a 3-lb. target in sight, Cledus shoots past it by two, weighing it at 185! Adding to Cledus’s new look is his shirt, which happens to be tucked in for the first time in 22 years. Going philosophical, Cledus owes his life to both entering the music business and joining Fit Club. However, Cledus is still finding it difficult knowing what he can eat. He’s eaten chicken and broccoli for forty days straight. Honestly, Cledus really needs more personal time with Stacy. Ian will have special meals delivered to Cledus which offer perfect portions and more than a little variety. After Stacy and Brat compliment his new look, Cledus receives a target of a mere one lb.

Time for Maureen McCormick, who wants Ro (Ross) to join her. Alas, no double weigh-ins. Last time, she was just two lbs. shy of her original goal of 125 lbs. If she hit her target for this weigh-in, she would bypass that goal by a pound. The CWAP, however, says three! That’s right, Mo weighs a wonderful 122 lbs. That’s 18.6% of her starting weight! No one on this show has hit their target as fast as Mo has. She says she was motivated by her desire to feel good again. Stacy is, understandably, concerned about Mo shooting vodka at 11:25 am! Mo contends that she wanted to have fun with her friends in the dance club. Admittedly, the tough moments of her life have led Mo to the bottle quite often. Stacy reminds Mo not to rely on alcohol in times of stress. Since Mo has surpassed her goal, she can now set her own target. Although most of the other celebs suggest two, Mo just asks for a one-pound target.

Warren G is next. Last time, Warren weighed 200 lbs. and received a target of 4 lbs. This week, Warren weighs 196 lbs. Despite the accomplished mission, Warren thought he’d lose one or two pounds more. Still, that’s a total of 25 lbs. off his starting weight. Warren also admits to cheating with a few cookies. Once again, Ian reminds the cast that it’s okay to eat cookies at this stage, just not a truckload of them at once. Stacy agrees with Ian. Warren’s new target is 2 lbs.

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