Fast Cars & Superstars, June 17: Accuracy Counts

The Time Trials are over and it’s time for the Fast Cars & Superstars Accuracy Challenges! Last time, Gabby Reece and Bill Cowher advanced after William Shatner was disqualified for repeatedly crossing below the white line during his Time Trial. They’ll compete in the second Accuracy Challenge; tonight it’s Ty Murray, John Elway, Laird Hamilton, and Tony Hawk who are up. Young Gun Kasey Kahne takes the training seat.

Kenny Mayne begins his voiceover. We began with 12 superstars. John Elway wants to win. Jewel trash talks the guys. There have been four eliminations and only eight celebs remain. If John Cena has to scrape the wall to win, he will do it.

The Gillette Young Guns are here too! The surviving eight will face the toughest round of competition yet. Seeing as it’s only the second round, that’s not saying much, is it? It’s time for Fast Cars & Superstars!

We’re still under the lights at Lowe’s Motor Speedway. Cue cheering crowd. Brad joins Kenny and reminds us what happened last time. You already know that though. Tonight’s celebs are introduced. Training them is the youngest of the Young Guns, “Ladykiller” Kasey Kahne.

Kenny and Brad welcome Kasey and says in this round, the celebs have to hit the targets and the pit box, and it’s no longer just about speed. What has Kasey told them to unlearn what they were taught during the Time Trials? Kasey says the biggest thing for them to remember is that making mistakes will cost them a lot of time. Hitting the marks with their left side tires and not missing the pit box is going to be a problem for a lot of them.

Brad reminds us of the format of the show—Time Trials, Accuracy Challenge, and Finals. The celebs have been broken into two groups of four for the Accuracy Challenge. Tonight’s group is Ty Murray, John Elway, Laird Hamilton, and Tony Hawk, in case you haven’t been paying attention..

During the Accuracy Challenge rounds, the celebs will follow Kasey around the track for three timed laps. Each celeb must hit six arrow clusters placed around the track. There will be a two second penalty for every missed cluster.

Upon completion of their three laps, the celebs must return to pit road and try to land in the pit box. Kasey will not lead them into the pit box, and missing it will add seconds to their time. Brad does not say how many seconds, but I suspect we’ll soon find out. The three fastest celebs will advance to the Finals

Ty is strapped into his car and he tells Kasey that he’s going to stay behind him. Kasey says that Ty will be able to slow down faster than Kasey will and Ty says they are going for it. Kasey leads him out for his warm-up laps.

But first, a Gillette Young Guns commercial! I never saw that coming, how about you?

Ty’s ready to set the standard for tonight’s celebs. Kenny reminds us that this time it’s not just the pure speed of the Time Trials. Brad says they have to go out and physically drive the race car and reminds us what the Accuracy Challenge entails. It’s going to be a lot more difficult than they think.

Ty takes the green flag and is racing well from the start. He’s in the 135 mph range and lines up perfectly with his first set of arrow clusters. Ditto for the second and third clusters. He hits the fourth cluster but misses the fifth, adding two seconds to his time. He’s up over 145 mph as he hits the sixth cluster. So, on lap one, Ty missed one cluster. Not too bad!

Laird and John Elway watch as Ty finishes lap one with an average speed of 141.51 mph. On lap two, Ty hits the first three clusters with no problem. Tony claps as Ty hits clusters four and five but is a bit high for cluster six, adding another two seconds to his time. He’s at 143 mph and his lap two average is 142.86 mph.

Ty doesn’t have to hit the arrow clusters on lap three, but he will have to head down pit road and try to stop inside the pit box. Laird and John watch, along with driving instructor Corey LaCosta. Ty passes Kasey and speeds down pit road, screeching his brakes to try to end up inside the pit box. Only the back wheels and bumper remain inside the green box, and Ty’s front bumper is outside the red line at the end of the pit box. Five seconds will be added to Ty’s time, for a total of nine seconds.

Ty’s final time is 1:56:53 before his penalty. A driving instructor comes over and Ty says he didn’t mean to pass Kasey, and it was harder than it looks. Kasey pulls up and greets Ty as he climbs out. Ty says he missed Kasey. Ty’s total time after penalties is 2:05:53. Laird gives him a thumbs up.

John is strapped in and Kasey leads him out on his warm-up laps. Kenny says John knows how to size up the competition, as John says you have to be pretty aggressive to do this type of sport. Laird is a thrill-seeker and a guy to be aware of.

John takes the green flag and hits all three arrow clusters as he races at 145 mph. He hits all six on the first lap and finishes with an average time of 140.44 mph. John hits the first cluster on lap two but misses the second for a two second penalty. He hits the third as he’s up into the 150 mph range and hits the final three clusters on lap two. His lap two average speed is 141.47 mph.

On lap three John decelerates but almost passes Kasey like Ty did. He heads down pit road and lands perfectly inside the pit box for no penalty. He finishes in 2:05:33, which bumps up to 2:07:33 with his two second penalty. Ty stays in first place.

Laird is strapped in and Kasey reminds him that he doesn’t have to hit the arrow clusters on the final lap, so he should just follow Kasey. They start out on their warm-up laps. Laird sounds like he’s stuck in third gear as Kasey pulls out ahead. The other drivers notice as Laird finds fourth gear.

He takes the green flag but there is a huge gap between Kasey and Laird. He misses the first two arrow clusters as he gets up to speed, climbing from 125 mph to 150 mph very quickly. Laird hits the third, fourth, and fifth clusters, but misses the last for a first lap penalty of six seconds.

Laird completes lap one with an average speed of 138.67 mph. He hits the first four clusters on lap two but misses the last two for a total penalty of 10 seconds. He finishes lap two with an average speed of 138.07 mph. Ty watches and snacks on crackers.

Laird heads into his last lap up near 150 mph and passes Kasey at the entrance to pit road. He’s coming in way too fast, and skids almost completely out of the pit box. The only thing remaining inside the outer red line is half his left rear wheel and the rear bumper. This gets him a 15 second penalty.

Laird finishes in 2:02:64, but with 25 seconds of penalties his final time is 2:27:64. Tony must be feeling great right now. He says Laird should win just for that. Hey look, another Gillette commercial!

Tony is strapped in and ready as Kasey tells him to stay behind him and he’ll lead him right into pit road. Tony takes the green flag as Kenny and Brad tell us that although Tony is crazy, he’s been very reserved this week. He races at 130 mph right away and hits all three arrow clusters. He’s up near 150 mph and hits the final three clusters on lap one. His lap one average speed is 140.59 mph. Ty notes that he’s right on the mark.

Tony hits all six arrow clusters on lap two and becomes, as Kenny says, the first celeb in the history of Fast Cars & Superstars to hit all 12 arrow clusters in the Accuracy Challenge. Kenny likes the hyperbole, doesn’t he? Tony’s lap two average speed is 138:67 as his competitors watch with Corey.

Kasey leads Tony down pit road with no penalty and he follows closely and slowly. Tony pulls into the pit box and nails it. He receives no penalty at all, finishing in 2:07:94. He’s in third place but will advance, as Laird is sent home.

Laird is going home, though I suspect he’ll stick around to watch wife Gabby Reese in the next Accuracy Challenge.

The next episode of Fast Cars & Superstars will air Tuesday, June 19, from 8:00-8:30 pm Eastern. Competing in the second of two Accuracy Challenge rounds will be Jewel, Bill Cowher, John Cena, and Gabby Reese. They’ll be trained by Young Guns driver Jamie McMurray. I’ll be here with the recap, and I hope you’ll join me!

Sandy Lamparello is an Assistant Editor for Reality News Online and a Legal Editor/Correspondent for a publishing company in Washington, DC. You may reach her with questions, comments, or reflections on life in general at realitytvjunkie@gmail.com. Ciao!