The Next Best Thing, Episode 7: The Finals

It seems like just yesterday that we were watching the first of four audition episodes of the show, and the truth is that it practically was yesterday! The Next Best Thing has come to its last night of competition after only seven prior episodes. Was the warp speed timeline planned all along, or were the producers winging it? We will likely never know. What we can say is that while this is a show with flaws aplenty, it did manage to find some very talented people. Which performer will take home the prize? Certainly the judges and producers have had a hand in determining the fate of the contestants up until this point, but ultimately, the winner will be determined by the viewing audience.

This week, the ten finalists will once again perform at the Orpheum Theatre in Los Angeles. Host Michelle reminds us that while the contestants will receive feedback from the judges, it’s the viewers’ opinions that count, as it is their votes which will select the winner. Michelle begins the show by explaining that after all the contestants have performed, the phone lines will open so that viewers can vote for their favorites.

Unlike some other viewer-chosen competitions (coughcoughAmericanIdolcoughcough), there is a limit on the number of votes cast per person. Michelle tells us that viewers may only vote for a contestant five times via phone and an additional five times through the show’s website. The phone lines will only be open for two hours from the time the broadcast ends, but that viewers may vote throughout the week on the internet.

Now that the rules have been explained, Michelle introduces the judges. Lisa is wearing a gorgeous emerald green dress, which I appreciate, because focusing on the dress makes it easier to bear having to hear Michelle use the words “master impressionist” as she introduces Elon. My only comfort is that after the results show on the 25th, I won’t have to hear them anymore. Michelle finishes bantering with Elon and Jeffrey, which means it’s time for the show!

First up is Donny Edwards, the “young Elvis.” Donny has ditched the black shirt and pants/white tie/powder blue jacket ensemble for black pants and a pink jacket with a black-and-white-striped shirt with an open collar. Black and white stripes, eh? Will Donny be singing “Jailhouse Rock” tonight?

In an interview, Donny tells us he thinks it will be hard having two Elvises (I prefer “Elvi” ) in the competition because it will split fans, and there are so many Elvis fans. We see footage of Donny in rehearsal, and he is singing “Blue Suede Shoes”—so much for my theory. Donny goes on to explain that he portrays Elvis as he was back in the 50s and 60s. He says that Elvis revolutionized music, and that’s what he likes about portraying him; when you see him on stage, it makes you feel like you’re part of that musical revolution. The camera does a close-up on Donny’s face as himself, then slowly morphs into Donny in character. Elvis’ makeup and hair are ready, and so is Donny!

Michelle tells the audience to put on their dancing shoes for “Blue Suede” Elvis. Donny begins singing a capella, and when the guitar chords come in, he is woefully off-key. It takes a few measures for him to get in tune with the band, and he seems to be having a little trouble throughout. Perhaps it’s his finals-night jitters or nervousness over having to perform first, but Donny is, in my opinion, not as good as he has been in the past. His shaking and jiving make him look awkward more than authentic. It’s a little manic, to be truthful.

Michelle asks the judges for their opinions. Not surprisingly, Donny’s gyrations were a big hit with Lisa. She mentions the internet buzz about the two Elvises, and says she thinks Donny set the bar really high. I think the only thing really high is Lisa. Elon says Donny was awesome, and though those were some tough blue suede shoes to fill, Donny totally filled them. He thinks it was a great way to start the final. Jeffrey says he thinks this was Donny’s best performance in the competition. Apparently, the judges are tone deaf. On a scale of 1-10, I give Donny a 6.

Next up is Suzanne LaRusch (not “LaRouche”, as I had been spelling it) as Lucille Ball. We see her arriving at her hotel and see her getting ready. In an interview, Suzanne rhapsodizes about Lucy, and I, as the judges have been all along, am amazed by her commitment to keeping Lucy alive not only for those who watched her shows and loved her talent, but for legions of young people who might not otherwise know who she was. As with Donny, we see a close-up of Suzanne. She appears with her hair down, wearing no makeup, then we watch her morph into Lucy before our very eyes. The resemblance really is uncanny; Frances Fisher has nothing on this lady!

Suzanne comes onstage and performs a skit in which she is a switchboard operator who is answering calls for “Hiccup Helper,” “Lonely and Desperate,” “Tippy Toes Dance Tips, and “Aunt Fran’s Fried Chicken.” In typical Lucy fashion, she quickly becomes overwhelmed and unable to multi-task. As one might expect, Lucy doles out the wrong advice to the wrong customer, and the proverbial hilarity ensues. Not surprisingly, Suzanne is spot-on. In fact, I thought this was a Lucy bit that I had not seen before, but in doing some research about the contestants, I discovered that Suzanne writes all her material. In a blurb on her website, she remarks that the singers on the show have an easier time than the comedians because all the comedy material is copyright protected, so she and the other non-singers have to write original material!

As for the judges’ responses, Elon tells Suzanne that everybody loves Lucy and that her performance was a “total Lucy bit” that she nailed, and he congratulates her. Jeffrey jokes that she phoned it in, but in seriousness commends her for her total commitment to the character and thanks her for keeping the spirit of Lucy alive. He says he knows she’s been doing this for many years and hopes she gets to do a one-woman Lucy show someday. He loves her! Lisa gives her props for working the crowd, then says that in look, in voice, and in manner, Suzanne is so spot-on that it makes her want to sing “Babaloo!” I have to agree with Lisa. I give Suzanne a 9.5. She is Lucy.

After a commercial break, Michelle introduces us to the band and the backup singers, then tells us it’s time for John Morgan, aka George W. Bush. We see John getting ready backstage, where he jokes that he’s getting “Bushified.” He remarks that it’s amazing how far he’s come—from working in his parents’ appliance store to appearing on national television! He jokes, “If you like George Bush, vote for George. If you hate George Bush, vote for John!”

John comes onstage to the tune of “Hail to the Chief,” wearing his usual garb: dark suit, white shirt, and light blue tie. He is flanked by faux secret service agents, who stand guard while he greets the crowd and begins to talk about freedom and music. He says he’s been taking guitar lessons “back at the ranch” and that he wrote a song. He begins to play the guitar while he sings about how much he loves his country. The song, called “Freedom Boogie, includes John performing a harmonica riff, but ends with John singing a falsetto note. Wow—who knew Dubya was such a one-man band?