Surviving China, Episode 3 – Ancient Chinese Secret

Previously on Survivor, Zhan Hu continued their losing streak. Fei Long kidnapped Jaime, and she gave the clue to the hidden immunity idol to Leslie. Todd and Amanda formed an alliance and let Aaron in. Dave and Ashley butted heads, and in the end, Ashley was sent home. In the meantime, David Bloomberg left town and put me in charge of this week’s recap. Who will be voted out this week, and will Survivor manage a week without David?

It’s nighttime at Fei Long, and most of the tribe is tossing and turning. Leslie says that Jean-Robert takes up the whole bed, noting that she doesn’t love his silk shirt and no underwear. Courtney says that she and Amanda try their hardest to not lie next to him in the shelter. She says he seems oblivious- he keeps saying that he needs the girls next to him to stay warm. Courtney scoffs at that, saying that since she only weighs about seven pounds, she’s not likely to be much help. Yeah, no kidding. Courtney is wee. I could pick up that woman and throw her like a javelin. Leslie says that Jean-Robert doesn’t get the social aspect of the game. If they ever go to tribal council, she adds, it won’t be a tough decision to make.

Anybody else sense a visit from the Ironic Foreshadowing Fairy?

The next morning, James and Amanda discover that their fishing net has scored them exactly one crab. It’s not too impressive, but they’re planning on stretching it out with some rice. Jean-Robert isn’t too into that idea, nor is Aaron. One crab divided among the whole tribe isn’t going to taste like anything. They’re right, but what else are they going to do? Courtney says that then maybe James should eat the whole crab, since he caught it. Again, not a popular plan. Leslie says that the men are getting cranky from being so hungry.

Jean-Robert and Aaron both say they wish they could have the whole crab. James makes it clear that’s not going to happen. They finally let James do what he wants with the crab, since he caught it. James laughs that he is the only one who actually read a survival handbook before leaving for the show. He adds that usually he doesn’t do anything outside – he doesn’t even like paper plates or cups. Now all of a sudden, he’s Crocodile Dundee.

This is the most we’ve heard James talk in three weeks, and you know what? Dude’s funny.

Over at Zhan Hu, Dave is working his butt off while the rest of the tribe takes it easy. Peih-Gee suggests that he rest. She points out in an interview that he tanked the last challenge for lack of energy. She continues to harp on him about the energy thing, and he sarcastically blows her a kiss. In an interview, he says that she’s pestering him. He goes on to say that he needs to keep things in camp in line, otherwise they’ll continue to do poorly in challenges. “It’s not rocket science,” he says through gritted teeth.

You know what else isn’t rocket science? Not going against the rest of the tribe and looking like a jerk. I’m just saying.

Dave finally takes a rest while the rest of the tribe wonders if their wok will be okay on the fire. Dave is frustrated because he feels like they can’t do anything without him. He gets up and grabs a brick to hold it steady. He says that it takes more effort to question everything than to just do it. The rest of the tribe is annoyed. Frosti says that Dave should just be happy to still be there, after the last tribal council. Peih-Gee says that she really wants to look out for the rest of the tribe, if they want to do well in challenges.

Speaking of which, it’s time for a reward challenge. Three players from each tribe will start on opposite sides of a boat and have hand-to-hand battles attempting to get the opposing three tribe members into the water. First tribe to knock all three of the opposing players into the water gets a point, and the first tribe to score three points wins the reward. The reward is comfort – kerosene, lanterns, rope, pillows, blankets, and a tarp. Everyone’s especially excited about the tarp. Fei Long sits out “the little ones,” Courtney and Todd.

Zhan Hu pits Sherea, Peih-Gee, and Jaime against Fei Long’s Amanda, Leslie, and Denise. The women size each other up. Denise charges first, but Peih-Gee and Jaime knock her down. Amanda’s down next. It’s only a matter of time before Leslie goes next. Zhan Hu scores a point!

Next, we’ve got Dave (who strips naked) with Frosti and Erik. James, Jean-Robert, and Aaron will face them. Dave and Aaron crouch low and slap at each other. Aaron’s in first, and next James tosses Frosti in the water. James and Jean-Robert knock in Erik. James is last for Fei Long, and the score is tied.

The women face each other again. Peih-Gee and Amanda fight, along with Sherea and Leslie. Leslie’s in first. There’s a lot of struggling, and Jaime’s knee gets Amanda in the head. Amanda falls in, but takes Sherea with her. Denise is next. Zhan Hu scores.

If Zhan Hu wins, they will get the reward. The men face each other once more. Dave taunts James, and there’s basically a big man pile. I know, hot. James and Erik struggle, and James finally pries Erik off a pole and into the water. The score is tied again. The winner of the next round will win the reward.

The women go at it. Peih-Gee has a really pretty orange bra on. Everyone grabs onto the pole, but Amanda falls in first. Sherea uses her legs to get Leslie in. Finally, they roll Denise off the plank. Zhan Hu has finally won a challenge. Denise looks upset and hugs Aaron. Zhan Hu also gets to kidnap someone from Fei Long. With some prompting from Jaime, they pick Leslie. Todd shoots Leslie an interested look, since he knows what’s in that scroll.

Zhan Hu plus Leslie walks to camp and immediately starts setting up their new pillows. Leslie congratulates them. Dave says he’s going to watch his mouth and keep his pants on, prompting Sherea to roll her eyes. Leslie is impressed by how high their morale is, considering they’ve lost so many challenges. They goof around and play in the water. Leslie says they are the happier tribe, adding that her own tribe is full of strong personalities. I think “strong personalities” is kind of a polite way to say “jerks,” don’t you? They ask her about Todd (“nice”) and Aaron (also “nice”). Leslie says that Aaron was elected their leader. Peih-Gee says they got lots of information from her, but that it was done in a friendly kind of way.

Leslie quickly finds out which people in the tribe are Christians (Jaime, Sherea, and Erik). She says that her faith is very important to her, and she likes that the people at Zhan Hu are like minded. She says that her tribe is cynical. I myself am cynical about the fact that when she left the welcoming ceremony, she claimed not to be religious, but whatever.

Sure enough, the other Fei Longs aren’t exactly members of the Leslie Fan Club. We cut to James and Jean-Robert, who have nicknamed Leslie “Sister Christian.” That is both kind of mean and kind of funny. James doesn’t think she’ll last very long. He says that Christians pray so much because they know they’re going to hell. Yikes. James thinks that he, Jean-Robert, and Denise will stay for a while. Courtney, standing with Todd, hears the whole thing, including that they think Courtney will be first to go.

“I’ll strangle his ass,” Todd says. Todd can’t believe they would be so bold as to talk openly like that. James and Jean-Robert then proceed to talk about the possibility of keeping Courtney around because what could be better than getting, as Jean-Robert puts it, “a million dollars and some ass.” Yes, I’m pretty sure that phrase factored into Amber’s wedding vows when she and Rob got married. Okay, not really. Courtney is horrified, but can’t help but laugh. Jean-Robert says that if James sticks with him, he’ll be all right.