Surviving Africa, Episode 11: Taking Out the Lone Wildebeests

OK, I’m a bit late with the episode 11 recap, but I was out of town. I almost skipped it entirely but I decided that enough interesting things happened this time that I needed to comment on them. Besides, Visa didn’t get enough air time on the show itself, so they wanted to make sure Visa was plugged again here. (Yeah, don’t I wish.)

Normally, I don’t pay much attention to the mini-recaps that air before each new episode. But this time it caught my attention. Building on what was shown last episode, Mark Burnett apparently wants us to think that Frank was voted out because of his political views. Indeed, they again show him going on about gun rights and the liberal media and then host Jeff Probst says, “Frank paid for his opinions,” even Teresa voted against him. Let me state for the record: Bullshit. Frank was voted out because he was in an opposing alliance. There is good evidence that Frank knew Teresa was voting against him and may have even encouraged it once he knew he was done for. It had nothing to do with his view on the Second Amendment and everything to do with the usual pattern of voting. Maybe Burnett thought it would be better to make it look like there was a political reason for Frank being booted, rather than admitting it was just predictable business as usual on Survivor. But whatever the reason, it’s nonsense.

OK, getting to the actual episode, we jump almost immediately into the reward challenge. It is combined with videos from home, which they get to see first. All of them get family messages. Notably, Ethan’s mother is apparently drunk, and Tom has invented cloning. His son is, well, obviously his son. They look alike, talk alike, etc. And his wife has the same sense of humor, as she discusses how she’s been riding this stud (referring to the horse with her) since Tom hasn’t been around. Ye gods, how did these two find each other? And speaking of similar spouses, Lex’s wife has a fair amount of body art, like him. His two kids don’t have any that show yet, though.

Moving into the challenge part, one family member was asked four questions and the idea is to match the answers. First question is what the player’s most embarrassing moment was.

• Kim J. says it was throwing up on her hubby-to-be on their second date. He almost goes with that but instead talks about her falling asleep on the toilet.
• Teresa says it was a New York Marathon injury, but her husband says it was when she spilled a full tray of drinks on a first class passenger (it wouldn’t have been nearly as embarrassing if it had been a coach passenger!).
• Ethan says it was in high school when he got a hanger stuck in his hair and they had to cut it out. His mother says it was letting in an easy goal in an important game.
• Tom says it was when he was walking around the house in dirty, stained underwear when people were over. His wife says Tom has never been embarrassed.
• Kim Powers says it was falling off her bike in a race and getting her bathing suit caught in the seat, thus giving the other racers a good view. Her mother picks that one as well.
• Lex says it was when he got too “happy” at a happy hour and threw up in class. His wife goes with that too.

So after one, only Lex and Kim P. have a point. Next question is what physical trait they like least about themselves.

• Kim J. says it’s her feet. Got it.
• Teresa says stringy hair. Hubby says nose.
• Ethan’s mom says his legs and he’s stumped as to where she came up with that.
• Tom says his lack of hair and gets it right.
• Kim P. says her small chest. Mom goes with arms, again stumping the player.
• Lex goes with his nose but his wife says his back hair, which he claims he has none. (Thanks to CBS for not trying to prove that one either way.)

Next question is what their biggest fear is.

• Kim J.: Growing old. Hubby: Bungee jumping.
• Teresa: Loss of a loved one. Hubby: Snakes.
• Ethan: Throwing up. Got it.
• Tom: None. Wife: Something happening to his son.
• Kim P.: Couldn’t make it out. It sounded like sweaters, though I can’t imagine that’s what it was! Her mother: Being unfulfilled.
• Lex: Outliving his sons. Got it.

Final question: What is their greatest achievement?

• Kim J.: Family. Got it.
• Ethan: Playing professional soccer. Mom: Taking his high school team to the state tournament.
• Tom: His son. Got it. (And here I thought it was discovering the secret to cloning!)
• Kim P.: Calling off her wedding at the last minute (I bet her former fiancé feels great about that one). Mom: A solo trip.
• Lex: His two sons. Got it.

And with that, Lex wins! He will go on a two-day trip to watch the migration of the wildebeests and whole bunch of other stuff, but he needs to pick one other person. He chooses Tom. Probst hands over his Visa and Lex and Tom go skipping off, arm in arm.

They fly off and end up at a “five-star luxury hotel” in the middle of the jungle. Lex hands over the Visa to pay. The woman takes the Visa, puts it in the Visa credit card machine, runs the Visa through the carbon copies, doesn’t question the fact that this man has another person’s Visa card and no identification on him, and then hands back the Visa. Meanwhile, back at camp the others are making cards (no, not Visa cards, playing cards).

Lex and Tom get driven out into the middle of herds of wildebeests and get to see all sorts of animals very close up. When they return to their tent, they find all sorts of alcohol and immediately dive in. (Here we again see that Budweiser apparently failed to sponsor Survivor this time, as the beer is nameless. I half wonder if Burnett keeps showing beer as a way to show Bud that, hey, their name could have been there.)

When it’s time for dinner, Tom grabs a bottle of bourbon to make sure he doesn’t get thirsty later. The two of them chow down on lamb and chicken while, back at camp, corn mush is the meal of the day and Kim P. notes that she will never eat anything with corn in it again.

Tom gets incredibly drunk and Lex has to tuck him into bed. They get an early morning wake-up call for their balloon trip, and Tom is feeling the effects of that bottle of bourbon (no kidding). As they get up into the air, they see two wildebeests walking alone, outside the herd. Then some lions pick off the smaller one.

Does this strike anybody else as being a good metaphor for what’s happening in this very episode? Two lone wildebeests – Kim P. and Teresa – are outside the herd. The lions pick off the smaller one. Hmmmm.

Anyway, they eventually get back to camp and slowly reveal how good everything was. Then it’s time for the immunity challenge.

They have to throw clubs at hanging pots. Each player has three pots with his or her name on them. The last one standing with pots still hanging wins. Tom is a good shot right from the start. But the two lone wildebeests, Kim P. and Teresa, are quickly knocked out. Eventually, Tom’s skill overwhelms everybody and he wins his first immunity.

Without Lex having immunity, this gives Teresa the chance she’s been waiting for. She tries once again to bring Kim J. into the all-girl fold. They both spend a lot of time worrying about getting a fourth person to vote against Lex. I’m sitting here wondering why! If the women vote for Lex and the three guys vote for anybody else, Lex loses the tiebreaker. They didn’t need another vote!

The editing here makes it look like Lex is in some actual danger. Tom talks about how he is thankful to Lex for the trip but still irritated about the whole Brandon thing. Etc. At this point I knew for certain that Lex was safe.

On to Tribal Council. The jury walks in, including Brandon wearing a sarong. Um. OK. At least it wasn’t Frank, I guess. Tom says the reward that Lex brought him on was the best two days of his life and he can never repay Lex for taking him. Well, there actually is a way, by keeping Lex around and helping him win a million bucks. But hopefully he won’t.

When each player is asked what they miss most from home, most answer along the lines of family. Tom, true to form, answers that he misses cheeseburgers.

Each is also asked if they are proud of how they played. Teresa says she probably shouldn’t have formed such a tight alliance early on, because it caused friction. Ethan says he likes the way he’s been playing. Lex says he’s seen his name on cards a few times and knows what it’s like to almost be booted. On the jury, Brandon rolls his eyes and shares a look with Kelly. Hmmm. Maybe Brandon won’t automatically vote for Lex should he make it to the final two, after all.

So it’s time for the vote. As I predicted last week, Kim P. is voted out, getting the four original-Boran votes. She and Teresa vote for Lex.

We still have no real idea why Kim J. is sticking by her alliance when she seems to be the odd woman out. My hope is that she’s not as dumb as she looks and has some sort of alliance with Ethan and/or Tom to make it to the final three, and that we just haven’t been shown anything about it (much as we weren’t shown much about the Tina/Colby alliance last season). We’ll just have to wait and see.

Kim P.’s last words talk about how she has gained courage and inner strength and has been changed for the better.

Next week, we see Lex ranting about how he’ll take out anybody who turns on him. So we can rest assured that the alliance is safe for another week and Teresa will be gone on Thursday. See ya then.

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