Survivor Locations of the Future

Survivor: Africa has come and gone, and with it the complaint that things have gotten a little bit too predictable. Take sixteen strangers, place them in an exotic locale, and then let them compete with the elements, and each other. Of course, there are places right here in the United States that provide plenty of exotic adventure. With that in mind, I present my ideas for future episodes of Survivor.

Survivor: Las Vegas

Sixteen players are split into two competing tribes of eight players. Each stays in the penthouse resort of two rival hotels. Competing with the crowds for rewards, and against each other. Every three days another member is voted out of the tribe, forced into exile at the local Motel 6.

Sample reward challenge (tribal): Jeff Probst: "Las Vegas is known for many things, one of which is the food bargains. Today we sample one of the traditional favorites: The 99-cent shrimp cocktail. Each tribe will attempt to eat as many of these local dishes as they can in a ten minute time frame. The winning tribe will receive tickets to see David Copperfield tonight. The losers will go back to cable television and pay-per-view pornography.

Sample immunity challenge (individual): Jeff Probst: "I'm going to tell you a story about the history of Las Vegas, from the early railroad days, to the days of Hoover dam, the role of gangsters, Howard Hughes, and up to the modern corporate world" (he does). "There are seven blackjack tables, each with a deck of blue cards, and a deck of red cards, with a question and answer associated with each deck. If you select correctly, you'll receive an ace. If you don't answer correctly, you'll receive a deuce. The player to return with a hand of five aces wins immunity." (Holds up a necklace with several dice and five playing cards; a royal flush in hearts).

Survivor: Streets of New York City

Sixteen players are cast homeless onto the unforgiving streets of New York City. Each of the two rival tribes is equipped only with the contents of a shopping cart and sent out to create a new society. In their new setting they will be forced to battle the elements, scavenge for food, and compete for rewards and immunity to earn the title of Survivor.

Sample reward challenge (individual) : Jeff Probst: "Often in the cold of winter, citizens of the street rely on fires in garbage barrels for warmth. Each of you is provided with your own barrel. Using only the materials available off the street and in the dumpsters, the first to build a fire that burns through the fuse will win reward. Want to know what you are playing for? A trip to a local soup kitchen, complete with hot meal, cot and blankets, and a hot shower."

Sample immunity challenge (tribal): Jeff Probst: "One of the ways the natives survive out here is through recycling cans and bottles. Scattered throughout the alley are a number of these items, each with a deposit return value. One person will total the value of the bottles and cans; the others will do the scavenging. The first tribe to collected $2.00 worth of recyclables wins immunity."

Suvivor: Prison

Sixteen Americans are separated into two competing tribes, each living in their own wing of a state prison. Forced together to form a new society within prison walls, they must battle the guards, the bars, and each other.

Sample reward challenge (individual): Jeff Probst: "One of the many things prisoners think about during their incarceration is a jailbreak. Going over the wall is a thought that occurs to many inmates at one time or another. Today we'll test that in an obstacle course, going underneath strands of barbed wire, followed by dodging searchlights, and finally, tossing a rope up and climbing over the wall. Want to know what you are playing for? Two cartons of cigarettes."

Sample immunity challenge (tribal): Jeff Probst: "Today we are going to go outside the walls for a little sunshine, exercise, and road work. You'll be taken outside and asked to clean up one side of a highway. First team to get all the trash into the garbage bags will win immunity. Here's the twist. You'll be doing it while chained together.” (Holds up leg irons and chains.)

Survivor: The Suburbs

Sixteen members of African tribes are separated into two competing communities – the Nelsons and the Jones – and sent to live in the exotic wilds of the suburbs. Each community is equipped with a fully furnished two-story house, a car, and a dog.

Sample reward challenge (tribal): Jeff Probst: "One of the things natives of the suburbs must do is continually care for the land they reside on. Today we'll engage in the native activity of Yard Work to win reward. Each of your tribes has a back yard, a front yard, a number of leaves, and a hedge. To win the reward, you must be the first tribe to rake up the leaves, trim the hedge, and mow the lawn. Want to know what you are playing for? (Brings out goat.) One fresh goat, fully ready to provide milk and blood for your community."

Sample immunity challenge (individual): Jeff Probst: "This challenge will test your memory. Each of you will watch a form of native entertainment called ‘television.’ You will be shown a classic television show called I Love Lucy. After this endurance challenge, you will be given a quiz on what you have just seen. The one who answers the most questions correctly wins immunity."

Even though Survivor: Africa is over, you can still order Survivor III, the Diary, by Mark Burnett.

Jeffrey Clinard has a Master's degree in marketing, a job he could not be paid enough to return to.

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