Surviving the Return from Africa

Survivor: Africa is over, right? We know who won and had the finale. Ah, but we still had to see what happened when the players got back from Africa. And so we got to see Ethan, Tom, Lex, Kelly, the Kims, Teresa, Frank, Clarence, Diane, Jessie, Carl, Lindsey, Brandon, Linda, and Silas again – this time back in their own element rather than out fighting the elements (and each other).

After Survivor 2, there was a good deal of sniping. Not so this time (well, not shown, anyway). While there was a short segment with various contestants giving quick descriptions of the others, by far most of the show was just a look at the players after they got home, hearing from them and their family members.

First we find that Lex brought home some baboon teeth, and Kelly took Clarence’s war paint. But Tom – well, Tom decided to remember his time by naming his cattle after some of his Survivor cohorts. He says some of them share characteristics with the people he spent time with in Africa.

After we see him out on the farm, we see him in the house havin’ a hoe-down. He tells us he already had a reputation (no, really?) and being on the show only added fuel. His wife says he has always had the ability to talk to women (again, no, really?).

One thing he mentions is that he was embarrassed because of his poor spelling. The reason he wrote “C.B.” on the card when voting for Clarence was that, well, he couldn’t spell “Clarence.” So he started a reading program, saying reading is the key to survival. He says if he can help one kid do better, than he was happy to have been embarrassed.

Next we have Kim P. She says the job market has been tough since she got back, so she’s been working odd jobs, like babysitting, dog walking, etc. No wonder there are rumors she will pose for Playboy for half a mil! But still, she says being on the show was about competition, not the money. While there she learned about herself – she wanted to give up, but didn’t.

Moving on to the dentist, he says he knew Silas was laying out a plan to show that Carl didn’t need the money. Indeed, we see some clips that remind us that no matter what any of the kiddy alliance may have said since returning, they specifically asked him what kind of cars he drove. He even answered that they don’t want to know, but they still pushed. He says he likes his toys, and he worked hard his entire life to get to this point. His son and wife say the experience was good for him, because he’s become sweeter and more willing to listen since he returned.

Speaking of sweet, we move on to Lex. He says that while he used to work in high-tech and all of that, he never felt cut out for an ordinary life (yeah, we could tell). He shows us a number of his tattoos, including a 10-year-anniversary one that both he and his wife got when he returned, and also tattoos drawn by his kids. He says when he came home he was sick for several weeks, and doctors found no less than four types of parasites and various bacteria. At least he got a souvenir. But he still had the time of his life and he would do it again – as long as he didn’t have to live with any backstabbers that he would need to cut off at the neck! OK, he didn’t say that last part…

Linda, not surprisingly, says the trip was extremely meaningful. She doesn’t know if it was “spirits,” but she felt protected out there. She is still the same person but she had a transformation, and is calmer and more focused on the most important parts of her life.

Lindsey tells us that she went on Survivor because she was at a place in her life where it was getting monotonous. She was ready for something big and exciting. Her father tells us things we already know, such as that what you see is what you get with Lindsey, she speaks her mind. She says she is competitive, emotional, intense, and she went back and forth between these while on the show. She adds that the most embarrassing moment of her life was when they were walking to camp in the very first episode and she mentioned that she was starting her period. But she says the show boosted her maturity.

On the opposite end we have Frank, who also says that what you see is what you get with him. He was not going to change for anybody or anything. His wife, Polly, was worried he might change, but it was obvious right away that “Frank is Frank” – he is the same man now that he was before he left. She says he can be the most charming and loveable man one minute and the biggest jerk the next, but is a very loving husband and father. To him, it’s important to get up early, put in a full day’s work, and get home to spend time with his family. Speaking of which, they will be adding a new member. They found out that Polly was pregnant the day before Frank got the call saying he would be a contestant.

Kim J. is past the pregnancy days, but has a fourth grandchild on the way. She grew up with just her mom and didn’t have any loving relationships until she met her husband. She married at 19 and she says her life is pretty set, so it was cool to spend time with such a wide variety of people. Regarding her thong, she says she didn’t go in with the idea that she’d be taking off her clothes, but her son-in-law notes that he saw more than most would see of their mother-in-law. She says Survivor was the coolest thing she’s ever done.

At first when they were showing Silas, I thought they’d messed up the tape with Dirk’s from the first series. Silas claims he starts every day with a devotion, reads a chapter of the Bible, etc. Well, that’s certainly a side of him we didn’t see in Kenya. He is trying to make it as an actor and is bartending to make ends meet. But work is never too much to interfere with his surfing. He says Survivor helped him deal with unpredictability, because the Twist meant the end of the game for him. It took him a while before he could relax again after the tense nature of the game. Poor guy.

Jessie says she loves proving people wrong, especially when they say a woman can’t do something that a man can do. They show her at the gun range, so I certainly wouldn’t argue with her. She is happy with her job as a cop because it is a job where you can do something about society. She calls herself a cool chick but a big kid at heart. Survivor was much more difficult than she expected – she never thought there would be such bad water. After she was voted off, she helped in a community project, working with the Massai.

Brandon describes himself as the hottest, sexiest, smartest guy on Survivor -- though sometimes it didn’t look that way. He says he may have had his outlandish moments, but it didn’t bother him if people knew he is gay. In a bit of a strange statement, he claims that he got along well with everybody (hmmm – does the name “Frank” ring a bell?). Indeed, he says that although he works as a bartender, he isn’t a particularly good one – people come for his personality and his attitude. Interestingly, he works in a leather bar. I’m sure Frank will have a ball there for the AIDS charity event that Brandon mentioned in the reunion special. He also discusses how he volunteers at the Walt Whitman school, which is for gay kids who have had problems elsewhere. He hopes they get inspiration from him and people learn not to make assumptions.

Kelly, who was described by some of the others as the smartest girl out there, says she felt outmanned from the beginning. But the snakepit that is Survivor prepared her for life in L.A. Her day consists of a workout, then editing books dealing with her specialty (behavior research analysis). She also crochets and drives fast – not exactly a frequently-seen combination. She says she is a big dork at heart.

Teresa tells us that she was working a lot before she left. Her husband notes that it’s not enough for her to be a real estate agent – she has to be the best real estate agent. She told her family to view Survivor as a business trip – her goal was to be the last one standing. But while out there, she had a lot of time to think about family and what is important, and she made a mental list of things to change when she got back. So now she has vowed to be with the kids more and to give her husband more backrubs. Hey, maybe I should send my wife out to Survivor!

Clarence, we are told, was a financial advisor before he quit and became a basketball coach. Being on Survivor was an awesome experience, he says, and the food was good, too. His friend notes that it all came back to food with Clarence. And when Clarence was accused of taking two cherries, his friend figured, yup, he took two cherries. Not that Clarence has a reputation or anything.

Diane says that being a single mom is not a chore or a duty, but a way of life. She has made her home bright and fun and happy – her son says it’s like living in a box of colors. Regarding the bean incident, she says Clarence lied and he knows he lied. Now that she’s back, she is more sensitive and takes nothing for granted.

Finally, we are at Ethan, the winner. Before he left, his mother told him that it’s not important to come back with a million dollars – what’s important is to come back with his integrity. He says he would not change who he is – he wanted to keep his dignity and self-respect. We find out that his father died of cancer when Ethan was 14, and that Ethan was a great help in taking care of his dad when he got sick. Ethan calls overcoming that the first lesson in survival. Of course we know he went on to play professional soccer, including at one time being one of two white guys in the Zimbabwe league. He says Survivor is a brilliant game – you are always hungry, thirsty, tired, etc., and then you have to perform in challenges and make friends. But, he says, you “don’t have to be an evil, backstabbing person to do well in this game.” He certainly showed that.

In the middle of the player portraits, we saw the few parting shots I mentioned earlier. Other players said Clarence liked to talk – about himself. Lex said, laughing, that he thinks of Kelly in an “off with her head” fashion. Frank calls Lex eccentric, while others call Lindsey emotional and in over her head. Tom is a dirty ol’ pervert that Kelly loves, and Silas has a great smile and loves himself. Ethan is quiet, sweet, shy, and Mr. Loveable. Frank is hardcore and thought of as a green beret. Brandon is in a different world, according to Frank. Jessie is hot, and Kim J. is clever and, as Ethan says, honest like his mom. Not nearly the sniping we saw last time.

At the end we look ahead to Survivor: Marquesas. Of course, if you saw the finale and reunion, you already saw this because it was just a shortened version of the promo they used there. The only difference was a few short quotes from Survivor 1 folks about how tough it will be. Indeed, as a reminder, this one will feature no rations given to the players.

Survivor: Marquesas starts on February 28. But don’t think this site will be bare until then. We have Combat Missions and Temptation Island 2 going on now, The Mole 2 coming back soon, the ongoing game show article series, and much more! So be sure to stick around!

Even though Survivor: Africa is over, you can still order Survivor III, the Diary, by Mark Burnett.

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