UK Survivor 2, Episode 3: Turning the Tide

Episode 1 of Survivor UK was watched by 4.3 million viewers; a mediocre total, even by UK standards. Episode 2 promptly lost a further half a million. The BBC ten o’clock news is drawing a higher figure. Times are tough at the ITV network, as well as on Bocas del Toro. If this rate of decline continues, by the end of the series there could well be more people left on the island than those actually watching.

Unfortunately for the suits at network centre hoping for some earthshattering drama, life on the islands has reached a hiatus between the initial trials and tribulations of coming to terms with the hostile environment and the potential nastiness of serious alliance formation and betrayal. Tribal merger is still a few weeks away and the outsiders in both tribes have already been identified and are gradually being whittled down, so those hoping for some real backstabbing will have to hold on for at least another two or three weeks. Whether they will is another question.

Anyway it is now Day 8 and, after losing two tribe members in a row, South Island tribe are in reflective mood. Bridget is tearful because she feared that she would be the one voted off and was greatly relieved to find that she was still there. Susannah is feeling guilty about fibbing to Lee. Both console each other – big hugs! John bemoans the girlie emotive atmosphere and goes off to clear his head.

North Island are unsurprisingly a lot happier, although Tayfun is again separated from the main group and is expounding on yet another of his theories about tribe dynamics. Alastair had, according to Tayfun, adopted a chameleon-like persona towards different members of the tribe. To the women, Alastair was ‘Mr sensitive-man’, talking about how he had a girlfriend for six months and never had sex with her. To the men, he freely related an episode concerning the receipt of a blowjob in a toilet cubicle on New Year’s Eve. Tayfun, this is way too much information!!

Moving on quickly, it is time for the reward challenge. Each tribe is given a large block of ice, within which are frozen a leg of lamb and a flag. They have to extract both items, without smashing the ice. Gloves are provided and the tribes are allowed to build and light a fire to help. First team to raise the flag wins.

Both tribes immediately push the ice into the sea to raise its temperature, but South are the first to realise the gloves could also be used to create friction to help the melting process. North soon copy, but South have built up a lead and, for the first time, they win a challenge, hoorah! For their efforts, they are given some diving equipment as well as a new leg of lamb, but the boost to their morale is probably far more important. Bridget is ecstatic on the point of hysteria (although it might be the excitement of seeing a lamb for the first time in several days, albeit very dead). North aren’t too disheartened and dine out on rice and peaches and play charades, while South chew lamb way into the night.

Unfortunately, whether due to the lamb or not, several of the South tribe awake the next day with bad stomach aches. John experiences ‘discoloured emissions’. Too much information again! Susannah meanwhile has been having a recurring dream about going on stage in a school play and suddenly realising that she hadn’t learned her lines. Didn’t Willow (in Buffy) have a similar dream in the episode at the end of season four? And then of course she turned into a powerful witch. Look out Susannah; the dark side beckons. Although Lee, if he were still on South Island, might argue that Susannah is there already.

The North camp meanwhile is being threatened by high tides. As they cannot move the shelter back onto the marshland, they decide to build a barrier, much to the infuriation of Meeta, who wants to sunbathe. Surprise, this results in another confrontation between Dave and Tayfun, on the most effective method of construction. Dave complains about Tayfun’s self-centred attitude. Tayfun feels the others were too ready to dismiss everything he suggests, because of the notorious machete incident (which sounds like a good film title). The women join in; even Drew actually says something, remarking on his inability to bond with anyone else.

Meeta then goes public and tells the rest of the tribe in no uncertain terms that she ‘hates this f**king island’ and wants to be voted off at the next tribal council. You might expect the others to throw their hands up in the air and celebrate the fact that they actually have a volunteer to leave. Well no, Alastair remarks that it would be better for ‘others’ to go first. I wonder who he could mean? She replies that she doesn’t care if she is first or second to go, as long as she does leave and then starts singing the words to ‘Tie a yellow ribbon’. Oh get a grip woman; anyone would think you’ve been held incarcerated for three years, not nine days.

It was now time for the immunity challenge at Coral Quay. As if everyone hasn’t had enough of water by now, this event is a swimming relay. Each team member has to jump into the water, collect a large shell from the seabed, swim the course diving underneath two beams and then climb onto the platform and deposit the shell. First team to deliver all four shells is the winner.

Helen and Meeta sit out for North tribe and the others begin the race. It immediately becomes clear that South tribe have finally got their strength and confidence together and they soon build up a healthy lead. Despite a powerful fight-back by Alastair in the last leg, South manage to finish first by a margin of three seconds and, even better for them, there were no silly mistakes or disqualifications this time, meaning that they finally get their hands on the immunity idol. Big cheers and smiles all round.

The South tribe could finally spend tribal council day relaxing and enjoying the sunshine. Bridget gives the others lessons in firebuilding while Susannah makes some cornflower fritters (very Marge Simpson).

North tribe meanwhile ponder which way they would vote that night. Meeta was still hopeful that she could go home, as she had established that she wasn’t as tough in the wild as she thought she could be. However the suspicion towards Tayfun still remained. Meeta now joins in the conspiracy theories, believing that he was trying to ally with the three girls to vote the two guys off. The man himself was keen to stay and was ‘plotting’, although there did not seem to be a great deal of evidence as to exactly what this entailed.

Finally it was time for tribal council. Tayfun triumphantly casts his vote against Meeta in line with his ‘strategy’ to keep the tribe as strong as possible. This strategy was soon to prove irrelevant, as each of the other five then proceeded to vote against him, although in a very diplomatic and semi-apologetic manner.

Despite Meeta virtually pleading to be evicted, it was clear that the others on North Island still preferred to have a disheartened tribe member amongst their numbers than a full-strength Tayfun. After the vote, he revealed that his original plan was to keep a low profile and pretend to be less able than the others, in order not to be seen to pose a threat. However this plan misfired from the start with the contraband bust before he even got onto the island. He had expected the others to try the same trick and the fact that they didn’t immediately singled him out. The machete incident drew further unwanted attention and then, whilst on the island, his seemingly obsessional level of personal grooming, while natural to him, became a subject of ridicule and contempt. Like Lee on the other island, Tayfun lost out not so much because he was noticeably underperforming in the tasks of the camp or the rigours of the challenges, but rather because his persona did not fit in with the rest of the tribe, albeit from a different angle. His Cambridge-graduate, professional dancer attitude did not rest easily with the blue collar down to earth backgrounds of Alastair or, particularly, Dave, and he was considered ‘nice’ and ‘sweet’ but not strong and powerful by the women (which, as guys know, is a very bad thing). So once again social status plays a part in the eviction, although, like Lee, Tayfun for all of his strategizing actually did little to seriously try and form a realistic alliance, in the fear that this would single him out still further. Anyway, I suspect we haven’t seen the last of him; perhaps on the end of season show while the public votes for the winner are being counted up, Tayfun could give the world a demonstration of his dancing skills. Who knows, it might even boost the ratings.

Next week: A crab and worm buffet. Meeta swears (again) and bitches furiously about one of the other women (about time too!) And it’s the end for Bridget or Meeta.

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